To be cringe every time someone

[helloclitty]

says something loud to their off spring so that everyone around can hear and then look for reactions from the nearby people.

"Oh! Johnny how clever of you to know that the green man means you should walk across the road" cue smug expression to anyone near enough, and waits for reaction.

poppy that sounds horrific!

It is because these parents don't do the parenting unless there is an audience. At home mummy opens the wine and the kids reek havoc (express themselves creatively )

They are inconsistent and usually paranoid weirdos.

I have children who sometimes go in for performance offspringing-ing. We were in York Museum Gardens and I suggested we go and look out the ruins. "Ruins? You mean like Ephesus?" Piped DD1. People looked, and I dare say judged.

Yes

helloclitty the loud parent I described earlier also did the stealth boasting thing too. Things like 'Oh I do wish my DS was average with his speech like your DS, you have no idea how hard it is listening to him talk all the time' Funniest thing was, her son was very average, not that that's a bad thing but she seemed to think he was of Einstein level.

She also claimed he was fully potty trained at about 18 months but it actually involved him sitting on the potty constantly. She'd only let him have about 5 minutes off the potty at a time. Then she told everyone that he had insisted he wanted to use the potty like a big boy and she hated it that he wanted to grow up so fast and be so advanced with everything.

I will admit at this point that when I ask (loudly) my DC4 what he wants to be when he grows up, he replies

'A peadiatric oncologist'

'Whats that darling? What did you say?'

'A PEADIATRIC ONCO ALLO OLOGIST'

Then I beam at him and hand him a sweet

I think it is particularly affective LP because I am generally dressed in a velour trackie and he has a rather fetching East London accent.

Hilarious. Took me weeks of coaching to get him to say that.

She'd only let him have about 5 minutes off the potty at a time.

hahahaha!!

We had a PP behind us at the theatre and he narrated the whole show really loudly to his poor child who looked pissed off and embarrassed. That dad deserved a good shoeing.

I can't claim the credit for teaching dd about fossils and volcanoes (and other geological stuff). She learned it all herself from books and would regale me with facts whenever we wandered around the local museum.

She doesn't do it any more. She's 17. She does still like to embarrass me in public, just in different ways.

Actually I did have a 'friend' who constantly went on about her DS who was a bit of a nightmare, "oh he tantrums because he so clever you know" "Oh he answers back because he's so clever"

I stopped spending time with this person after it was announced straight faced "I have never met another child who is as clever as my DS" seriously!

I love a good bit of pp. My favourite reaction to the eye-contact-hoping-for-a-smile-of-awe is to return the eye contact but with a completely blank face.

They look so deflated!

StbXh does a type of this but in an overly loud look-at-how-fabulouly-funny-i-am way. Generally when nappy changing or bathing I am treated to an "hilarious" conversation between him and 8 month old ds being practically yelled so I don't miss it from downstairs

I think it's meant to make me realise what i'm missing and/or swoon at his superior fathering skills.

I took to loudly shutting the door and turning the radio up but if he's feeling particularly mirthsome I am summoned to go up and see it in person lest I am deprived of this display of comedy genius.

In his defence, it is funny

MyDogShitsShoes I like your style!!

My youngest did this for me. I didn't need to trumpet his unique middle-class credentials. When in Asda (Ok OK, I didn't say I was middle-class ) he used to say loudly 'Mummy, I want to choose some fish for lunch' and then proceed to discuss the merits of various piscean delicacies with the somewhat bemused fish lady behind the counter. I just stood and marvelled and was passively smug by association. He liked raw carrots and one day organic chanteray carrots were on offer and as they were small and cute he fancied them - at the till he said in his loudly ringing sweet little voice 'Mummy, may I eat my organic carrrots now?' Embarrassed? Abashed? Not a fucking bit of it! I knew enough by then to make the most of it. I basked. Now he is demanding sweets and coke like the older two It was an impossibly unsustainable dream....

Haven't read rest of thread but is this not to encourage your child's good behaviour? I do it all the time and to be honest couldn't give a stuff if people think I'm a PP as long as it helps DC. YABU!

Tizzy if you'd bothered to read the thread (Or even read the OP correctly) you would see that it's not a thread aimed at people praising their kids. It's aimed at people praising thier kids and then looking round for an audience once they've done it.

I've read the rest of the thread now...in the spirit of the thread then I know a mum who clearly trained (maybe) her two year old to look at me with disdain and ask for 'brioche please mummy' when I offered him a jam sandwich. His mum pretended to be mortified but was smug in the extreme.

I did a bit of inadvertant PP the other day at a stately home when ds (8) asked one of the tour guides when the house was built. To encourage him in his Horrible-Histories induced love of history, I said 'Now ds, can you remember which monarch was regning then?' Hence conversation about the Stuarts and Hanovarians, with ds asking the poor guide the odd hard question Kindly tour guide said 'Oh, are you doing the Stuarts at school?' Ds: 'No, I just like kings and queens.' Only afterwards did I realise that ds probably looked like the class boff and I the PP from hell.

Oh shut up Autumn

Bloody hell tizzy - bit harsh