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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take 'D'H's air rifle and shoot him in the bollocks with it?

39 replies

EXmrsmascarahead · 15/04/2012 11:26

In Feburary H (i'm dropping the D bit as he doesn't deserve it) came home with an air rifle. I wasn't overly keen on the idea but he said that a work colleague was selling it and he was trying it out to see if he wanted to buy it, and at £150 it was a bargain.

Cut to today, I have just found a receipt for an air rifle, the purchase was made at a proper dealers and is for £440.

So no friend involved, no giving it a try, no discussion on the cost, I have been lied to repeatedly and I am seriously pissed off. I must also point out that due to illness he has been off work for the past 2 months, the job he had no longer wants him and he has had to find more work (he's a contractor) so we have been scraping by for weeks.

Luckily for him he has gone out for the day so I will have time to calm down before he comes back and then I can have a full on row a polite discussion with him.

I am now wondering what other lies he has fed me over the years!

OP posts:
FermezLaBouche · 15/04/2012 11:31

Aside from the "wtf does he need an air rifle for" aspect of it, I would INSTANTLY lose respect for anyone who could tell a blatant lie to my face like that. :(

bejeezus · 15/04/2012 11:36

Oh...I was believing that he borrowed them ones off the friend to trial it. Didn't go ahead with purchase. Then regretted it-friend already sold to someone else. So he bought one from them shop??

But, yes-why does he want an air rifle?

BelleDameSansMerci · 15/04/2012 11:42

Sell it? Find out from the dealer what it's worth (don't say it came from them in the first place) and then keep the cash?

Seabright · 15/04/2012 11:42

That is quite a strange lie to tell. Is he interested in shooting? Or was he before this? Has he used it? If not, maybe it can go back to the dealers?

You are right, you need a serious chat.

Original poster
EXmrsmascarahead · 15/04/2012 11:43

The air rifle is supposedly for shooting rabbit, we keep birds of prey, so it was meant to be another food source for them. Except he hasn't used it.

I remember the day it arrived home very clearly as it was valentines day, he came in with the rifle, I did the WTF as you would when someone walks in with a rifle, he fed me the speil about the friend. I made a joke about it not being very romantic. The invoice is dated 14/02/12. So definatly no friend involved.

OP posts:
Kladdkaka · 15/04/2012 11:45

Hide it. Then tell him you sold it for £200 and isn't that fantastic that you made a profit for him.

Sarcalogos · 15/04/2012 11:50

I agree sell it.

Original poster
EXmrsmascarahead · 15/04/2012 11:55

I've just looked on the delaers web site and they are now priced at over £500 so I wouldn't lose much money selling it back to them, but I am seriously considering selling it dirt cheap.

I feel like a fucking idiot!

OP posts:
ChaoticAngel · 15/04/2012 11:57

The problem here isn't so much the air rifle, although I have to admit I'd be Hmm at it. It's the fact that he's blatently lied to your face about it and kept that lie going for the past two months.

ABitSnowyOutside · 15/04/2012 11:59

£440-450 is about right for a half decent air rifle. Show the dealer the receipt and get the money back.
There is plenty of free road kill for birds of prey.

ABitSnowyOutside · 15/04/2012 11:59

Don't sell it dirt cheap!

Keep the cash.

LunaticFringe · 15/04/2012 12:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sleepyover · 15/04/2012 12:02

Why does he think he can lie to you? What else does he lie about?

fedupofnamechanging · 15/04/2012 12:02

I'd be raging - I absolutely hate lying, in a relationship. I always think that if casual lies can just trip off the tongue so easily, what else has that person lied about over the years?

Maryz · 15/04/2012 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

solidgoldbrass · 15/04/2012 12:06

If he's not used the bloody gun, what does he want it for?

Erm, OP... how is your relationship generally?

Original poster
EXmrsmascarahead · 15/04/2012 12:09

Its not the money or the rifle, although i am annoyed he has spent cash that we could have used else where, its the lies.

This isn't the first time I have caught him out, last time (a few years ago) it put our marriage under tremendous strain and it took a while for me to trust him again, I thought he understood then that lying to me wasn't worth it. Obviously I was wrong.

OP posts:
doctordwt · 15/04/2012 12:10

Yes, get rid of it by lying to him - that's exactly the method he used to get it, so serve him right.

I'd go so far as to take it back or sell it on for as much as you can - hopefully you'd get nearer to £400 for it. Tell your H that you got £200 for it, how amazing, lucky to get an offer like that and on reflection you'd decided you didn't want a gun in the house so isn't that great.

Bung the rest of the cash in an account.

If he comes clean, you could then pass over the rest of the cash with a big warning never to lie to you again.

If after a couple of months he doesn't you could use the cash to get yourself something nice... and when he asks, tell him where the money came from. Then sit back and ask him if he wants to take a guess at just how much damage the last couple of months have done to your relationship.

By the way - this is a really worrying level of deceit. Think of the time and effort he's put into lying to you here. He decided in advance you wouldn't be ok with this actually quite big purchase, so has gone ruthlessly all out to deceive you over it. I'd be angry, sad and worried about that.

startail · 15/04/2012 12:11

Grrr boys and toys they've always wanted. Honesty and sense do not always come into it.

Things appear here and DH can never remember what they costHmm

Not such blatant lies, although I can think of one thing i said no to that he bought anyway and I found months later.

Generally I can't say anything as he earns the money and doesn't check up on my spending.

He'd love a air riffle, he knows, I hope, that I would explode.

Maryz · 15/04/2012 12:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PerryCombover · 15/04/2012 12:15

Gawd imagine his mind going bananas as he realised it was Valentines day and his sole purchase was an air rifle
The grim realisation As he saw the look on your face as he strolled in with it.
I'd hope that was why he made a rubbish lie

Ask him honestly and then decide what to do from there.

Selling his property because he has told you a lie seems strong to me (she says stuffing another £20+ lipstick into the bottom of her make up bag) but I often lie about the actual facts surrounding purchases as my h has no idea about the price of fashion.
I'm sorry you have been so upset by it and you've made me think about my hideous massaging (lying) in a different way.

MyDogShitsShoes · 15/04/2012 12:15

Won't give any advice as I am seriously not in a place to do so.

But bloody Angry on your behalf op, liars are the lowest of the low, end of.

Original poster
EXmrsmascarahead · 15/04/2012 12:16

I am sitting here trying not to cry, my son is in the room with me, I am questioning how much of our married life has been built on deceit, how many times has he looked me in the eye and lied, how many times have i fallen for it.

I honestly don't know where I am supposed to go from here.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 15/04/2012 12:17

If it was bought with joint money then it isn't 'yours' to sell.

I wonder if a thread had been started about a woman telling a fib about the cost of a pair of shoes and her DH selling them on ebay, had of been started, what the response would have been?

I am wondering if he has bought this to make himself feel better, because of his illness and subsequent job loss?

Once the rifle is paid for, it is a free hobby, but in his logic he has thought that it will pay for itself, perhaps?

We have just bought a decent rifle second hand for £250 and a sight for £40, if it isn't something that you are into, you won't get it.

It is the lying that is the issue, but is this conected to his job situation?

Maryz · 15/04/2012 12:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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