Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to take 'D'H's air rifle and shoot him in the bollocks with it?

39 replies

EXmrsmascarahead · 15/04/2012 11:26

In Feburary H (i'm dropping the D bit as he doesn't deserve it) came home with an air rifle. I wasn't overly keen on the idea but he said that a work colleague was selling it and he was trying it out to see if he wanted to buy it, and at £150 it was a bargain.

Cut to today, I have just found a receipt for an air rifle, the purchase was made at a proper dealers and is for £440.

So no friend involved, no giving it a try, no discussion on the cost, I have been lied to repeatedly and I am seriously pissed off. I must also point out that due to illness he has been off work for the past 2 months, the job he had no longer wants him and he has had to find more work (he's a contractor) so we have been scraping by for weeks.

Luckily for him he has gone out for the day so I will have time to calm down before he comes back and then I can have a full on row a polite discussion with him.

I am now wondering what other lies he has fed me over the years!

OP posts:

Birdsgottafly · 15/04/2012 12:20

I honestly don't know where I am supposed to go from here

Well you have to start with talking about it and listening.

GrahamTribe · 15/04/2012 12:23

I wouldn't think twice about selling it. There's no way I'd have it in my house for any longer than it took for me to take it to the nearest dealer.

Birdsgottafly · 15/04/2012 12:23

Just to add, i wouldn't do some of the suggesions, personally, that still wouldn't make your relationship, one of trust and openess, it would just turn you equally deceitful.

Original poster

EXmrsmascarahead · 15/04/2012 12:25

It was bought with joint money and therefore shouldn't have been bought without prior consult with me.

I have never massaged the figures of any purchases I have made and if there is anything that required such a large outlay then I would discuss it with him first.

I do 'get' the rifle thing, although hunting is not my thing, but in order for this rifle to 'break' even he has to shoot nearly 1000 rabbits, so not exactly a money saver particularly when its in the attic and hasn't been fired once.

The lying issue is not connected to the job situation as he was 'let go' a couple of days after the purchase.

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 15/04/2012 12:27

If it isnt a case of the money being needed elsewhere, then if it were me I would probably have a go at him, but also wonder why he felt the need to lie about it. Why was he not able to tell you beforehand that he was buying it? What would your reaction have been if he had?

I occasionally regularly lie to my husband about how much things have cost, only because he bloody hates spending money.. and as it is my own earnings I am spending, then I cant be bothered to get into a debate to justify why I spent what I did.. much easier life to knock a few quid off the price..

Birdsgottafly · 15/04/2012 12:30

Then the lying needs to be challenged and he owes you £220.

Selling it withour discussing it would be treating him like a child and not a partner. He owns half of the rifle.

squeakytoy · 15/04/2012 12:32

Oddly enough, we have just had a "discussion" because I told him we needed a new microwave and we were going to get one today... (sardine related incident necessitates this)..

First of all it was "well wait until I get paid, and we can get it then".. and "but you shouldnt have to spend your money on household items".... to "oh god it will be really busy at Currys today"...

ffs... I dont mind paying for it, even though we have plenty of money in the "household" account... and he doesnt need to come with me really, I just thought I would ask him....

See, it would have been much easier for me to just pop out, spend £100 on the microwave I want, and come back, tell him it was £50 in the sale, and everyone would be happy.... he just has an allergy to buying new things..

Original poster

EXmrsmascarahead · 15/04/2012 12:37

If we had discussed it beforehand then my reaction would have been reasonable, I would have wanted to know why he would have wanted it, got him to talk to a few landowners to see if he can have permission to shoot and weighed up the cost of the rifle compared with cost of the rabbits we use. If it had seemed worth it then I would have agreed.

I am not going to sell it, although the immature side of me really wants to.

OP posts:

Birdsgottafly · 15/04/2012 12:49

If that is how you both handle what you want to buy and spending is fair, then that is reasonable.

Tbh, that's why ilike having some personal budget, i wouldn't agree to my DH asking me why i wanted everything i buy and us having to agree.

You can only talk tohim, perhapshe iswilling tocut down on other expences, to keep it. In all fairness, it isn't full shooting season yet.

QueenofPlaids · 15/04/2012 13:08

IMO that's an awful lot of money to lie about, especially if it's considered joint funds.

To be honest I wouldn't even make a purchase that large with my own money without discussing with DP (not for permission as such, but more because I use him as a sounding board for larger purchases & also to check I've not forgotten any upcoming expenses). He would do the same.

I'd be really pissed off about the lying more than anything though.

SuePurblyBusinesslike · 15/04/2012 13:12

If he hasn't used it and you have the receipt, take it back? Or have I missed a post?

I'd go mad tbh, that's exactly the kind of lie my ExP used to tell me all the time. I know exactly how you feel - it shakes everything when you think about the easy detail of the lie, and the expression on their face when telling you all about this colleague and his bargain. I bet there was loads of random information about the colleague and why he was selling too?

Horrible, it really does make you question everything.

ImperialBlether · 15/04/2012 13:26

What other lies has he told you?

And I must say he's a bit of an idiot if he brings a rifle home and tells lies to his wife.

Fiendishlie · 15/04/2012 13:48

He is BU for wanting to shoot bunnies.

JazzyButtons · 15/04/2012 14:20

But you don't have to actually sell it to tell him that you have? Call his bluff and see if he comes clean about the cost.

Flip

1 2