to wonder if people are actually as bold in RL

[doorbellringer]

there seems to be the consensus to (possibly paraphrase) what would be said in real life i.e "you should tell MIL/DH/SIL to f**k off" when they act unreasonabably. My question is: are people so blunt/to the point in real life or do they dress it up nicer? Is it merely to get the point across on MN without the flowery blah de blah?

Depends on what it is and who it is to.

I am, but I am to the point, say it with a straight face and then carry on as normal. Eg

I'm sorry but do that outside please
That is unacceptable in my house
I don't wish to engage on that subject
That's not going to happen
I really feel like I need your support now
This is my decision

Etc

No shillyshallying

Oh but I try not to swear much

I do sometimes. I'm known as a sweary loudmouth in RL though.

I'll be blunt and to the point if needed.

I can be very blunt with strangers, not so much with friends and family.

Hmmm, yes, there's being assertive, and being rude, and they are not the same thing.

I'm autistic. I couldn't dress it up nicely if I tried, although I don't swear.

I wouldn't tell someone to 'fuck off' in so many words, but they would come away knowing that I had told them to fuck off, IYSWIM

Oh definitely! I shriek and rage and foam obscenities!

Then I leave the bathroom mirror to sulk by itself

I can't talk to my relatives as I'd like to (massive doses of 'you are a fraud and a twat to boot') because we have a small family, my children don't know they are frauds and twats and love them and would miss them if there were a rift, the people aren't bad people, just annoying and therefore no protecting the children necessary, and the one time I did actually refuse to do something, well the repercussions are still happening even though I was pretty reasonable and polite (see: relatives are twats).
Basically they don't like me that much and if I went off on one, it would seal things in their minds. Presumably they are thinking something similar.

I don't meet many people in RL who are as gung ho as they are on here. So... good question.

I'm probably more blunt in RL than on here tbh. I am very aware that things can be taken wrongly written down so I try to bear that in mind when replying to posts. In RL I do tend to say things as they are rather than dressing them up.

I do wonder how many people on here cultivate a kick-ass 'your MIL is a CUNT' persona and wouldn't say boo to a goose in RL though!

depends. Im quite "to the point" with friends, but i dont really get into debates with strangers in real life like i do on the internet, because its not really appropriate or the place for it

Since I've become a regular on here I've become more assertive in RL, I used to be a bit of a doormat, so thank you MN.

I don't swear at people in RL, much, but i don't advocate it in my posts, either.

I do advocate challenging PA, nasty behaviour and using direct communication, which i always practise.

I challenge any form of 'ism' that i see, even in strangers and i will tell other people's children off, if the behaviour affects others. I would challenge bullying etc.

I probably need to calm down, though, tbf.

I think most people don't. I think many people think that they are exactly the same in rl as online but actually I don't think they are.

There is a lot of bravado behind a username/perceived anonymity.

I'm quite blunt. I try not to be rude. It's good to start off any given situation with manners and the hope you can resolve an issue without causing offence. I certainly wouldn't embark on a conversation with 'fuck off' as my starting point, but I would have no qualms in saying that, if I was on the receiving end of some of the atrocious behaviour that some of the posters here have had to put up with.

I tend to think in life 'do I want to do this?' If yes, then I do it and if not then I don't. I've become quite good at saying no, because if it's a choice between me being happy and someone I don't care about very much, being happy, then I choose my own happiness every time.

That sounds very selfish (and it is), but I don't feel taken advantage of or put upon and therefore am more willing to do things for other people because it's my choice and I've not been guilted into it.

So, my round about way of answering your question is that I think I am much the same in rl as I am here.

i can cut bread with my tongue as i am a cutting sod and yes i do tell ppl to eff off including family....i dont swear in work as i work with children but i have told my boss straight too without the swearing

I don't tell people to F off but I do say things like "it is completely unacceptable/unreasonable for you to...".

I'm nicer on here than in RL I have no qualms on saying anything to someone but I don't do it in a sweary way.

I don't advise anyone to do or say anything that I would not have said or done in RL. I am quite assertive though.

I am far less articulate in real life. This is because my thoughts, feelings and opinions are more easily expressed by me in writing than verbally. I wish I could conduct all my interactions in writing