to wonder if people are actually as bold in RL

[doorbellringer]

there seems to be the consensus to (possibly paraphrase) what would be said in real life i.e "you should tell MIL/DH/SIL to f**k off" when they act unreasonabably. My question is: are people so blunt/to the point in real life or do they dress it up nicer? Is it merely to get the point across on MN without the flowery blah de blah?

no. I do struggle verbally. Words flow from my fingers in a way they never flow from my mouth. I also can't tolerate people interrupting me and I find loads of people talk over you for some reason yet - I am the world's worst interrupter because I find it hard to tell when someone has actually finished speaking. However, I always stop and apologise. I also can't remember the conversation, words spoken just seem to evaporate. whereas here I can scroll back and remember it all.

I can do it of course, but it is a huge effort for me and it feels like acting.

I like MN because it offers me the chance to think before I speak stand thus weed out the thousand and one silly -and probably offensive- things I say by mistake. In fact, I avoid lots of RL interaction because of having upset, alienated or generally annoyed people by just "being me" as it were. Not mixing much reduces the number iof unfortunate incidents on aggregate. Mostly it's impossible to shout without realising it (this is my principal problem: I have a loud voice which gets louder and louder as I get more excited/happy/unhappy). People don't like being shouted at as a general rule (I know I don.'t). But I appear to have no self awareness on this issue until it is pointed out to me, at which point I am mortified, but usually the offence has already been taken.
Strangely all that works against me in social interactions works for me in my teaching role. In general I find my students like me and find my classes engaging. I have no idea to why this is.

Em, I'm probably nicer on here than in RL!

Oh yes, and I also interrupt and talk over people, usually oblivious to the offence I am causing. I really get where you are coming from Hecate.

No one is ever really mean to me in RL which is good.

However, my mate says that is because I am terrifying.....

oh well.

I think I'm better at expressing my point at MN because I get to think, delete, rewrite what I want to say to get my point across in a way I like.
some examples:

MN = I feel that at times, the support I receive is less than what I require, and this makes me feel sad and frustrated.

RL = Yeah well. Just fuck off, go on fuck off. Useless, piece of horrible shit. I dont need you!!!!

I would get so much further if I could type my responses to people.

However, I am very able to speak my mind with my partner (as above) and my dad. My mother and my boss on the other hand..When I really want to tell them where to go, I turn into a very meek and mild nodding dog. I'd love to have the balls I have on mumsnet in dealing with them! I can speak my mind if required and be very blunt but unfortunately I have no middle ground. On MN I can put my opinions across quite well without resorting to name calling or swearing. With most people by the time I'm annoyed enough to spit my real feelings out I have passed the point of caring and do myself no favours at all by yelling and generally being horrid.

cat and hec- your experiences sound like some from the AS threads...

(have just self-diagnosed with a touch of AS, so I'm aware I'm probably seeing it everywhere!)

I'm much blunter in RL. Possibly because there aren't many bigoted middle aged men trying to order me around on MN.

Yes. That's right. It runs in my family. Many of us have clear autistic traits/high functioning asd. My children both have autism.

I am exactly the same in RL as I am on here.

Stubborn: since learning about autism and AS I have occasionally wondered if I might have some traits. I went so far as to do a couple of on-line tests, but they said not.
I think it's more a case of me being easily excitable, too enthusiastic and loud with a tendency to say the first thing that comes into my head ... The great thing about MN is that you can read your witterings first and edit for stupidness.

It depends.

I'd feel free to dispense advice here. People do ask. In real life I never comment unless someone asks my opinion specifically. Then I think I'd be quite direct.

But I honestly don't think anyone comes here looking for sugarcoating. What's the point of asking on annonymous forums if people don't say it straight?

On the whole you will tend to get a disinhibiting effect on 't internet (we feel less inhibited on the internet than we do in real life). Some of that is good. There is a lot of benevolent disinhibition. Many people will help others online to a far greater extent than they probably would in real life (eg freely offer advice, links).

There are other forms of disinhibition, my favourite is solipsistic introjection (it's all in my head).

This is really interesting:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_disinhibition_effect

a working link - I find the subject fascinating:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_disinhibition_effect