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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I just a lazy cow or do other people do this?

56 replies

TallyMeBanana · 13/04/2012 18:11

Start rushing around tidying up about 15 minutes before the OH comes home from work?

It's my day off and I've spent it reading, playing with DD and drinking tea!!!

I should go and do the dishes.........

OP posts:
DizzyKipper · 13/04/2012 20:31

Grin Like Eeyore says, OH does this, although it's amazing how much he can do in a small amount of time.

Chilenachica · 13/04/2012 22:12

I can't be doing with the -quick, tidy up before OH walks through the door- frame of mind. If it ain't spotless when he gets home - it ain't spotless.

marriedinwhite · 13/04/2012 22:19

I've never understood why there are so many threads about how much stress and work the sahm has to suffer when it can all be done in less than hour anyway if one puts one's mind to it. 15 minutes before the dh comes home is usually enough of a blitz on the surface to make him think you've spent an hour anyway. How long does the average row over it waste take anyway.

victorialucas · 13/04/2012 22:21

OMG you need to get yourself over to the feminism section- cleaning up for your man to come home are you a time traveller from the Victorian era??

lolajane2009 · 13/04/2012 22:33

i dont as usually totally pooped as hubby does 7am to 7pm a work and even when ds (7mths) naps i have to do housework to keep on top of stuff.

Beamur · 13/04/2012 22:36

My DP would not notice. I clean because that's how I like it.
He often works from home and when I get back in it's not unusual to find the breakfast plates etc still on the table, perhaps joined by some new ones from lunch. He's a bit of a slob on the quiet and I cannot imagine he would ever upbraid me for not cleaning.

HateBeingCantDoUpMyJeans · 13/04/2012 22:37

Yep and if you spray polish near the front door they think you've done a great job Grin

deliciousdevilwoman · 13/04/2012 22:38

Yeah, I do this.....I call it "the power half hour" :)

Gargula · 13/04/2012 22:49

You tidy speifically for when your DH comes home?
For that alone YABU

I don't know whether to laugh or weep.

BetsyBoop · 13/04/2012 22:54

tidying up just because DH is coming home ? na, never but then DH probably wouldn't even notice if the place was that bad that we were expecting a Kim and Aggie visit shortly

40notTrendy · 13/04/2012 22:54

I'm weeping gargula.
Really? Hmm
Why are you responsible for keeping the house tidy?
I like it tidy but I do it when I want to/ can do and so does DH.

Armi · 13/04/2012 22:58

I don't see what the problem is. I like to come home to a tidy house so I assume DH is the same. I also like the house to be tidy in the evening instead of being festooned with plastic tat. If I'm at home, I tidy up. Just because I happen to be a woman, am I supposed to wallow in mess and filth in case tidying up is a betrayal of the 'sisterhood'?

What tosh.

bessie26 · 13/04/2012 23:04

Hahahaha, I leave a huge pile of washing up for him to do most days!!

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 13/04/2012 23:05

I am a compulsive 'tidier' anyway, but yes, if someone else is coming home I like to make it 'nice to come home to' - it doesn't matter if it's male, female, young, old, friend, family, other half - it's just a nice thing to do so that someone doesn't walk into a house that's in a right state. Not 1950's at all. If someone else did that for me I'd appreciate it - what's the problem??

However - I'd never do it if someone 'expected' it!!

Also, if I've had 'one of those days' and the place is a state - tough shit Grin

deliciousdevilwoman · 14/04/2012 13:42

*"I don't see what the problem is. I like to come home to a tidy house so I assume DH is the same. I also like the house to be tidy in the evening instead of being festooned with plastic tat. If I'm at home, I tidy up. Just because I happen to be a woman, am I supposed to wallow in mess and filth in case tidying up is a betrayal of the 'sisterhood'?

What tosh."*

This. Armi, I think I love you! :o

trikken · 14/04/2012 14:09

I used to, bur now I just try to do things bit by bit before he wakes. (dh works night shifts)

Armi · 14/04/2012 15:19

Well, you're only human, deliciousdevilwoman. :o

Cherriesarelovely · 14/04/2012 15:45

Am so glad I stumbled on this today! Am having a day to myself as DD and DP have gone to London on a fun little outing together. Have walked dog, been to help out elderly MIL painted a couple of walls and now just want to chill out, eat Easter eggs and do MN. Actually I feel as if i ought to hoover etc, I am so useless at domestic stuff anyway. DP wont mind but I will feel guilty if I don't do some sort of faffing around with the hoover.

Scholes34 · 15/04/2012 23:03

Would take a lot longer than 15 minutes to make any difference to my house!

Plaguegroups · 15/04/2012 23:06

I don't do this, I wait for DP to get in and then he either entertains the DC while I tidy, or he tidies.

BackforGood · 15/04/2012 23:11

My chin hit the floor when I read this Shock.
Seriously ?

You really, honestly aren't actually tidying up just because your dp/dh is due home from work are you. Not really. Confused

maddening · 15/04/2012 23:16

I just tidy as I go along as we live in a small cottage so it needs to be kept decluttered - do bits when I can with ds in tow but limited. Df comes home, we all have a play and chat together then df makes dinner while I play with ds - I clean up after dinner and give bathroom a spritz - df baths ds and I clean and hoover floors, possibly dust spots and make a cup to tea, df dresses ds and we go up to bed - I cosleep with ds at mo with lots of nightly waking due to teething..

We do "big" jobs on the weekend and have a blitz.

OhTheConfusion · 16/04/2012 03:53

I do this too. I don't like coming home to a huge mess so a quick 30min keeps on top of it all and lets us relax together in the evening after the kids are in bed.

I look at it like this, I work from home (with Dc3 here too) and DH works a 30min drive away (he also takes the other Dc's to and from school) so he has 1hrs worth of travel each day and I don't. I spend that doing a 30min post morning mania tidy up at 8am and then 30min at 3.45pm to tidy away lunch dishes, work stuff etc before one of us cooks dinner (and he always does the dishes!).

That said my parents called this morning to ask if we fancied visitors for a few nights. They live an 8hr drive away and it took us almost that long to tidy the post holiday mess and prepare DD1's bedroom for anyone over the age of 9 to sleep in!

GreatExpectations2012 · 16/04/2012 05:05

I do this too. We have a 'pick up' before DH comes home. To be honest, the cleaning is already done and DH wouldn't give a stuff either way. I don't think he sees it the same way that I do so doesn't feel compelled to tidy if I'm out :)

vvviola · 16/04/2012 05:24

I tend to tidy over the place a bit before DH comes home - but not because he's coming home but because it means that once we've done the dinner/bath/playtime/bedtime chaos, the living area is nice and calm for ME to sit & relax in.

I do the half hour before dinner tidy whether he's coming home, is already home or is away on business. (and when I worked full time up to a year ago, we both did it after dinner). It's nice to know that evening time is off-duty time for both of us.