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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Left handed preference - AIBU to try to change his mind?

134 replies

CoffeeDog · 12/04/2012 12:47

We have been drawing/writting/colouring this morning.

DT2 has been holding pencils in his left hand (DT's are just 3). When my DD was first learning to hold pencil's my mum would be forever swopping from her left hand to her right hand - she is now right handed, and has neat handwriting.
She said she did this to make her life easier and to make sure she has neat handwriting.

DT1 only holds pencils in his right hand.

AIBU to think its not a big deal anymore what hand he holds a pen in as long as he enjoy's drawing/writing? or should i be constantly trying to get him to change hands?

OP posts:
bettybat · 12/04/2012 16:07

I don't even know why you'd force anyone to either these days...it's completely archaic and ignorant.

The ONLY reason left-handers are seen as supposedly clumsy is because they were forced to use right-handed dominant tools. But that's not even an issue anymore.

Why is it such a big deal? It makes me really angry - I'm left handed, my hand writing is fine - I just turn the paper slightly, tin openers and most tools are either universal of have left hand versions, it's insanely simple to make your PC/mouse left orientated and I taught myself to tie my laces pretty quickly after my parents gave up.

dotnet · 12/04/2012 16:13

bettybat, I don't think forcing it is a good idea either.

But dontcha think it is quite interesting that my DD (she's at university now) quite genuinely feels she'd have benefited from being seduced over to joining the righties?

MissBetsyTrotwood · 12/04/2012 16:14

I'm a leftie, as is DH and neither of us have had any problems. My handwriting is neat, as is his. His is a little odd but nonetheless very clear. When learning a new manual skill we just sort of test which hand feels best doing it. I don't really understand why the 'leftness' has to be limited.

MissBetsyTrotwood · 12/04/2012 16:17

And FWIW I think it's possible for some people to be more left handed than others; to be less open to being ambidextrous, and vice versa.

GwendolineMaryMagdaleneLacey · 12/04/2012 16:17

God no. I have a friend who had his left hand tied behind his back as a child and now he can barely hold a pencil in either hand. It's affected him terriblynd he's very bitter about it. DD1 is left handed, doesn't bother me a bit.

dotnet · 12/04/2012 16:17

Well, MissBetsy, I think your stance is fair enough and in any case in my own lifetime I'm seeing left handedness is on the increase.

Maybe it's something in the water... or the food.... people are taller than when I was young, as well.

nickelhasababy · 12/04/2012 16:19

I like to make a big deal out of it if I am made to use a right-handed implement.

the idea is to shame the manufacturer into making it universal.

bettybat · 12/04/2012 16:20

Maybe she does dotnet...I couldn't possibly begin to understand why though :)

If there wasn't the forced norm of right handed tools, there wouldn't be an issue with being clumsy. Parents having to learn how to teach their children the other way to tie their laces really isn't such a big deal - and like I say, I ended up teaching myself when they failed to get their heads round it Wink

I like being left handed, and a total leftie too - with everything left handed, not just writing. The only remarks come from right handers really - "oh you're left handed! How funny!" Hmm

Though it is a nice group-type feeling when you meet a bunch. I once worked in a comms team of 12, and all 8 designers were left handed. Guess the creative thing rings true.

toomuchlaundry · 12/04/2012 16:23

my MIL was left handed but was forced to be right handed at school (think she might have had her left arm tied to her back so she couldn't use it). She was determined that her 2 boys wouldn't be forced to change. My DH is dominant left hand, my BIL is ambidextrous, but was assessed to be dominant right handed by school so was encouraged (not forced) to write with his right hand.

My DS is left handed, and he was chosen by the teacher to be the first child in his year to try joined up writing, so certainly hasn't impacted on his handwriting.

I am the odd one out in our little family unit, being right handed. When DS was younger he thought you were left handed if you were a boy, and right handed if you were a girl Grin.

TheSockPuppet · 12/04/2012 17:01

Coffeedog that's great that he's not having as many difficulties Smile and really understanding of the doctor to send you up with a note stating you weren't neurotic - it's a shame that he had to issue it in the first place, i don't know any neurotic mothers, but PLENTY of mothers with children with special/additional needs who had to fight to be taken seriously Angry

exoticfruits · 12/04/2012 17:10

Leave well alone. We left-handers are not handicapped in any way! (the only handicap to a left handed DC appears to be a right handed parent).

catyloopylou · 12/04/2012 21:04

I (sometimes, when I bother) have lovely handwriting and I'm a lefty. My brother and DH both have poor handwriting and are both lefties. But they are both more lefty than me; I do many other things right handed, like ironing, using scissors, playing badminton, playing musical instruments.

But I do get irritated with the small things that show it's not a lefty's world, such as pictures on mugs, writing on pens, kitchen appliance buttons etc. and I can sew and use a sewing machine but can't knit, partly because my mum found it difficult to try and show me how to knit left handed as she's a righty.

tamitots · 12/04/2012 21:11

I am a leftie and when at school we were told "you write with your right and the left is the one left out". Caused me real problems later in life knowing my left and right directions. Still now have to wear my watch on my left so I know which side left is (daft I know). DT will be fine if left to it.

ivanapoo · 12/04/2012 21:19

Another leftie here. From a family of them. Also disproportionate amount of my close friends are. The only thing my (leftie) mum taught me was to cut with scissors in my right hand. I can cut pretty well with both now (skills).

At school we had to write with fountain pens which got a bit smudgy but on the other hand I was always picked for sports teams even though I wasn't that good!

I love being left handed.

Freshlettice · 12/04/2012 22:09

Biscuit sorry, but YABU.

naughtymummy · 12/04/2012 22:24

I wrotemy thesis on this (many moons ago). There are 2 types of lefties those born that way and those in which the left side of the brain (controlling the right brain) is damagwd. Birth trauma is the commonest cause of this and twins have a higher rate of complications,so yes twins are more likely to be left handed. I amalso left handed,but learnt to do many proceedures right handed as all the instruments are made that way. Interestingly it is a nightmare for a lefty to assist a righthanded surgeon :)

DartsAgain · 12/04/2012 22:29

My dad's dad was also forced to write with his right hand, having the left tied behind his back.

My dad is ambidextrous, writing with his right hand, but when playing darts he writes scores on the chalkboard left handed.

I am ambidextrous and can write with both hands, and prefer my left hand for some things. I tried archery, and found I do better left handed. DS took a long time to settle down to one particular hand.

I was told that if you try to force a change in hand, you are affecting the way in which the brain functions, and stammers are common in people who were forced to change hands. I heard King George VI was forced to write with his right rather than left hand, perhaps causing his stammer.

MyleeneCrass · 12/04/2012 22:36

dotnet you are completely wrong. What is wrong with using your left hand? Shocked at some of the stories on this thread.

inchoccyheaven · 12/04/2012 22:38

DH, DS1 and I are all left handed but DS2 is right handed. DS2 has always struggled with his hand writing whereas the rest of us haven't. Matbe because he has tried to copy us?

Bizarely DS2 also has his knife and fork in the opposite hands to us. We have fork in left and knife in right whereas he is other way round!

Lougle · 12/04/2012 22:39

I changed from LH to RH when I was about 6. My teacher made it clear she was not happy with my LH writing. I simply obsessively practiced until I could write with my RH.

I cycled the wrong way around roundabouts for years - gave my mum kittens.

Even now, I can't turn a tap off without thinking about which direction it should be.

I believe it is because I am trying to think of everything as a RHer when actually I am left handed.

carrielou2007 · 12/04/2012 22:56

My dad is a leftie and had his hand tied behind his back at school (he's 78) and his writing is awful. However, he was also told that he was stupid as he often wrote letters the wrong way around, wayward spelling, don't think anyone knedw about dyslexia back then. My sister is a leftie too.

I am 38 and I had a ruler whack my hand at school if I used my left hand. It didn't bother me as I could also write easily with mu right. Exams were easy if I had a am and pm as could alternate which hand I wrote with withought stopping the flow so to speak!

I do struggle to know which is my left and right, wear my watch on my right arm as that is how I tell. I find it hard at work as when I explain results the readings are done 'as if you are looking straight at someone' so the right results are on the left of the graph and the left on the right!

My dd is a leftie, obvious from veru early on, my ds is right handed.

One of those things that doesn't bother me in the slightest as it does not affect me in this day and age but would never ever force my dc to use one hand over the other.

LithaR · 12/04/2012 23:14

i was originally left handed but got slapped on the wrist and made to write with my right hand. I was even made to eat right handed which meant me sitting their putting things back on my plate cause I'd knock all the food off my plate.

I still have a stammer that gets worse when I'm stressed and i find it difficult telling left from right or even reading a clock with hands.

For a long time i was angry at being made to change and I'm 31 now.

susiedaisy · 12/04/2012 23:18

Fgs we were born with two hands can we not use them both? why is it even a consideration to try to change a persons preferred hand use!Confused

FoxyRoxy · 12/04/2012 23:29

I'm left handed but I can also do most things right handed. My handwriting is neater than most people I know and it hasn't really affected anything in my life.

I used to be cabin crew and one of the pilots told me that more astronauts were left handed than right handed on the Apollo missions and there is a disproportionally large amount of left handed pilots. No idea if it's true or not though!

FoxyRoxy · 12/04/2012 23:33

I just checked, 1 in 4 Apollo astronauts was left handed which was 250% more than the normal level.