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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Left handed preference - AIBU to try to change his mind?

134 replies

CoffeeDog · 12/04/2012 12:47

We have been drawing/writting/colouring this morning.

DT2 has been holding pencils in his left hand (DT's are just 3). When my DD was first learning to hold pencil's my mum would be forever swopping from her left hand to her right hand - she is now right handed, and has neat handwriting.
She said she did this to make her life easier and to make sure she has neat handwriting.

DT1 only holds pencils in his right hand.

AIBU to think its not a big deal anymore what hand he holds a pen in as long as he enjoy's drawing/writing? or should i be constantly trying to get him to change hands?

OP posts:
ASByatt · 12/04/2012 13:01

Gosh no, please leave your DC to develop naturally and do not try to force a handedness on them.

Incidentally, I am not horrifically old but when I first taught I had a pupil who had had his left hand tied behind his back by a very old-fashioned primary school teacher who had convinced his parents that this was in his best interests (this lad would only be in his early 30s now). I taught him at secondary school, by which time he had appalling handwriting with either hand, although it was difficult to ever see much of his writing as he would do anything to avoid written work, including truanting and misbehaving so that he would be sent out of class.

Only one example, but you can tell that it made an impression on me!

For another example, my DD has the neatest handwriting in her group of friends, and she is the only left-handed one.

topshelfrita · 12/04/2012 13:01

I think that many lefties can have a bit of an advantage because over time you often develop a degree of ambidexterity to help you cope with a right-handed world. I'm mostly left handed but there are lots of things I do right-handed such as eat and play some sports. My handwriting is fine (when I can be bothered to write neatly) and I had no trouble writing or holding pens or pencils. My left-handed grandfather was of the generation that forced people to write only with their right hand and his handwriting was trully appalling, poor man.

Waspie · 12/04/2012 13:01

I don't know about 82 years old - I am less than half that age but my year 1 teacher tied my left hand behind my back and taught me a rhyme about how only evil children are left handed. I'm still left handed and an atheist

TheSockPuppet · 12/04/2012 13:01

Yes you bloody well are being unreasonable! Leave your dc alone and let them use whatever hand they want!

ImCoveredInBeeeees · 12/04/2012 13:02

YAB VVVU if you try to make a child who is left handed write with his right hand. I am left handed and i have very neat handwriting. You could permanently damage your child by trying to influence his handed ness as other posters have said.

whohellhe · 12/04/2012 13:02

Like pjmama said I'm sure I remember seeing something on tele about a link between twins and left handedness, would be interested to know more if anyone else has heard of this theory.
I'm a leftie (but not a twin) and I have to say I disagree with Richman, rounders was a bloody nightmare if you could only hit the ball towards first base!

tazzle · 12/04/2012 13:02

please, please ask your mum not to try and influence what hand is used to hold the pencils. Although children can and do learn to use the right hand to write with its is never completely natural. My OH used to have his hand hit with a ruler when he was little to make him "right handed" and although in his day there were very few lefthanded tools like scissors he still is fundamentally left handed and did have issues where hand eye coordination was involved ( we tend only to be able to wink / focus to aim with one of our eyes).

manicbmc · 12/04/2012 13:03

Leave the poor buggers be! I'm naturally right handed but I write with my left (can write with my right as well but not as neatly). I write with my left because I was a right thumb sucker. Right thumb was in my mouth most of the time and so I used my left to write.

Dd is left handed. Ds is left handed. I am right cross dominant.

TheSockPuppet · 12/04/2012 13:03

Sad ive just read the posts about children having their hands tied behind their backs to write - how horrible. My DS is left handed and I wouldn't ever dream of doing something so cruel to him.

whohellhe · 12/04/2012 13:03

rounders even (not being able to type has nowt to do with being a leftie!)

Atreegrowsinbrooklyn · 12/04/2012 13:03

Are we going back to the hand tied behind the back era? I find it hard to believe that somebody would even consider trying to correct the incorrectable.

WorraLiberty · 12/04/2012 13:04

Waspie I'd forgotten about the 'evil' left handed thing!

Kaloobear · 12/04/2012 13:05

A left handed friend of mine was forced at primary school to cut her food with her knife in her right hand-her right withered hand I should add, on which she had limited control over her fingers. Not only this but noone was allowed to leave the table until everyone had finished so she was constantly under time pressure. We used to cut her food for her when the dinner ladies weren't looking and every lunch time she cried. She was massively insecure about it as you'd expect and eventually her parents moved her to a different school where she was allowed to be left handed and she pretty much immediately got much, much happier.

Atreegrowsinbrooklyn · 12/04/2012 13:05

Try being red headed and left handed as a child growing up in a latin american country!

Original poster
CoffeeDog · 12/04/2012 13:09

you will be pleased to know i will be leaving it up to him now. My mum has little contact with them and i will just hide the pen's when the DT's are there.

DT's are not identical in the slightest. Dt2 is nearly 10cm taller than his big brother one whole minute bigger and while DT1 look's like his big sis, DT2 dosn't really look like anyone ped's doctor ran genetic tests on him as he looked 'odd' all came back negative

Both are obviousley IMO the most handsome little boys in the world ;)

OP posts:
missmapp · 12/04/2012 13:09

Dont do it! i am left handed and only write with my left hand as it was such a pain to explain I was left handed, that I just did whatever sport/activity it was in my right hand. I now lovely handwriting but am not a champion sportswomanGrin, this is clearly because I didnt use my leftie instincts- dont limit your child in the same way!!

ramblinrose · 12/04/2012 13:09

I've just googled mirror image twins.
It's fascinating.

Rubygloom · 12/04/2012 13:10

My dd is left handed.She is nearly 4 and gets on just fine.I'd say leave him be

redpanda13 · 12/04/2012 13:10

I think in olden times being left handed was associated with the devil. It was used as proof of being a witch or in league with satan. Did not know that it was still considered 'bad' until fairly recent times. Some of the stories on this thread are so sad.

ASByatt · 12/04/2012 13:11

Grin so glad CoffeeDog.

DrSeuss · 12/04/2012 13:11

Absolutely NOT!

Try using your "wrong" hand for an hour and you'll see what I mean. Please, don't do it.

diddl · 12/04/2012 13:12

"AIBU to think its not a big deal anymore what hand he holds a pen in"

Well, in all honesty, I didn´t think that it had been a "big deal" for years.

I´m nearly 50 & none of my school peers were forced into right handedness.

OP-is your mum very old to have this attitude?

Actually it makes me really cross that you let her do it.

pjmama · 12/04/2012 13:13

Bit more info for whohellhe - I didn't imagine it after all! Obv not the case here though, just a bit of interesting trivia!

Definition: Mirror image twins are monozygotic, twins that form from a single fertilized egg. When the split occurs late - more than a week after conception - the twins can develop reverse asymmetric features. This term is not really a type of twin, just a way to describe their physical features. For example, they may be right- and left-handed, have birthmarks on opposite sides of their body, or have hair whorls that swirl in opposite directions. In theory, if the twins faced each other, they would appear to be exact reflections of each other. About 25% of identical twins are mirror image twins.

undercoverPrincess · 12/04/2012 13:13

Why would you. My ex was left handed and had the neatest most girlie hand writing I've ever seen. My OH is left handed also and I can't read his (I don't think he can most of the time).

Chilenachica · 12/04/2012 13:15

If a child is left handed that is because they are Left Handed. I know it used to be standard practice to correct, and sometimes punish, this perceived defect, but progress has shown us that it is a natural development for part of the population.

Let them use whichever hand feels right for them.