to not care whether I have a baby boy or girl?

[QuintessentialQuaker]

After three DS with this pregnancy all I have been asked is "are you hoping for a girl", "I bet you're excited at the prospect of having a girl", "surely it's your turn to have a girl now?" and other comments to that affect.

Why do people automatically assume we want a girl? Obviously it would be nice but so would four DSs. Sorry about the moan but it really got to me!

As a side though, have you had similar questions and if you have had two or more of one gender did you then want one of the other?

You do you do!!!

I have two girls and I could not have been less bothered - we bought DD1 unisex clothes for the first year as we were definitely wanting another and were cheap wanting to reuse as much stuff as possible, but didn't find out the sex either time.

My MIL had a lovely answer to the question - when asked why she had three sons, she used to say 'Because we didn't want four.'

When I was pregnant with ds1, I didn't want to know what I was having - didn't really care tbh- I had a strong feeling and dreams that he was a boy however - and so he was!

Cue my second pregnancy - lots of people expected me to be wanting a girl - again - I didn't really care, didn't mind either way, and didn't find out, had the same dreams and feelings, and - yes another boy!

I just remember when he was delivered onto my tummy, I looked at his wee face, and said "Gosh - it looks like ds1!" then I gathered my senses, and looked at his bits - "OOOOH! We've got another SON! YAY! - Ds1 will be thrilled!" And he was..... he's slightly less thrilled now, 9 years down the line, but they still get on well!

But peeps stiill had some strong feelings that I must be hankering after a girl, when honestly, I didn't mind either way - go figure.

We went through nearly 2 years of fertility problems before finally getting pregnant. Dh and I were obviously on cloud nine and thrilled to tell everyone. Mil was very excited and started making lots of things for us. We had a gender scan at 17 weeks, we didn't mind what we were having just happy with a healthy baby but wanted to know what we were having so we could name the baby etc. We found out we were having boy (which we had thought we were all along). Told mil and the first thing she said was as long as the next one is a girl. I felt gutted after all this trying I felt our ds was already a disappointment to someone. Poor dh he was so excited about telling his mum and so sad to get that reaction. Especially as dh is her only child so felt like he was a disappointment as well. Turns out all the things she made were pink
Why do people have such a things about gender. Hopefully we will have more children in the future (i would like 3) but I can honestly say I don't mind what sex they are I would be so happy with 3 boys but would be happy with a mixture too!

I was asked, with DS2 in my arms, whether I was happy to have had another boy. On more than one occasion.

I feel very sad for people that genuinely do have a preference and wish they didn't, it must be frightening and disturbing. But I get fucking livid with the berks that want to tell me what I want.

When I pushed that second baby out and had him put on my chest, it didn't occur to me to even ask what he was, and on being told the sex, my first thought/feeling was just 'yes, that's right, my son'. I would have been happy either way, both times. And what's wrong with same sex siblings anyway?

If we decide to go for another, I may well lamp anyone that tries this with me. Not only are they suggesting your unborn child will be a disappointment, but that any 'middle' children are redundant by products of all the trying for a 'perfect' family.

I don't understand the fuss about gender-I think the wonderful thing is that you can't control, for once, it is up to nature.

I always wanted more than one child and didn't care in the slightest about gender (as it happens we ended up with 5 boys and a girl!) but for some reason I'd always wanted to have a son before a daughter. I think it's just the fact that with an older brother you would always have someone there for you IYSWIM? Well anyway DS1 is 8 years older than DD and him (and DS2 and DS3) are always there for her in a way that I can't image happening if it were the other way round. Not sure how that works!

YANBU I've got a 2.3 dd & a 5 day old DS. We're happy, we'd have been just as happy with another girl.

I'm starting to get annoyed with remarks about bow relieved we must feel.'I was even told I was 'a clever girl' (mil). FFS! I'm almost 32 for a start & have had nothing to do with selecting the bloody gender!

I might dress DS as a fairy (like the mad woman in the 'fail' linked on here weeks ago!) just to piss ils off!

If you do have a girl you'll never hear the end of it.

I was willing the 4th child to be the same as the first three just so we didn't get all the "you can stop now" & I bet DH is delighted like he wouldn't have been anyway grrrrr

I felt huge pressure when I was pregnant for the third time, after having two gorgeous boys.

Everyone would say, 'ohh bet you want a girl this time' or 'when can you find out the sex?' or 'I think it's a girl!'

I told everyone I knew for definate it was a boy, because I could just feel it was! I also enphasised to people that my boys didn't want a sister, to make people believe I was too hoping for a brother for them. I told people that I thought a little boy would fit much better into our family, and the boys would except a sibling better if it were a boy! (I think I was trying to convince myself also that I didn't want a girl, and didn't want people to feel 'sorry' for me......that's awful isn't it?)

At the 20 week scan the sonographer asked if we wanted to know the sex, my DH said, 'she already knows it's a boy', as I had convinced him too! Well, we were told it was a girl, and I was so shocked (and over the moon too!).

After that, whenever people asked, and I told them it was a girl they would say 'oh, you can't be too sure, I know loads of people who were told that, and it was a boy!' or 'ohh, what if they were wrong!' So, I ended up having a gender scan to confirm, which said 'girl', but still didn't believe it until she was in my arms. Quite honestly, people drove me mad with the doubts they put in my mind (especially as I'd spent a fortune on pink frilly stuff!)

My DD is 15 months, and is absolutely gorgeous(biased), but now I get people saying, in front of my boys (14and 9yrs)) 'Oh I bet you are pleased you have a girl at last, after two boys!' Now that really makes my blood boil.

YANBU op.

YANBU, it constantly amazes me how rude people are to pg women! It's one of those times it's 'acceptable' to ask totally unacceptable questions. Grrr.

I think the reason people always go on about the gender is that they assume that families should be 'balanced', with equal numbers of boys and girls. Coming from a mainly female family, and DH from a mainly male family, I don't expect to get 'one of each'!

The girl thing seems to be about very base sexist assumptions about Mums wanting to dress their baby girl up and play house, and Dads wanting a boy to rough and tumble with and 'pass the name on to'. Sexist crap.

However, while I get what people mean when they say "I don't care what the gender is as long as its a healthy baby", I did care, altho very much in second place to having a healthy baby. I had a preference, and I don't like surprises, so I found out. I sometimes wonder how people can be so patient and wait, but honestly I admire them for their self restraint! :)

When we were expecting DS2 we thought it would be nice to have a girl. But we were never upset that he was a boy. He's gorgeous and we love him to bits.

I never had my twins "sexed on a scan" to be honest when you have the pregnacy from hell you kind of think, that you will get one of each, :) but hay ho, we got a boy and and an boy, but by the timet he second was born, they could have told me he was a puppy, I would have been happy, I love my boys, i am still younger than both my grannies at 42 when they had their last child, but I will be honest, I would love another baby...singular (love my twins but love the idea of one to one, and a girl but if I do find myself in this position and it was a boy I would be too loved up to , my puppy (twin 2) is a real live wire aqnd very much my son, twin 1 is very much his dad, and I have no doubt from this situation that love really does deepen.
my cousin OH is expecting twins and I feel a local paper moment because our grandad was a undentical twin, he had a sister, I had unidentical twins 2 boys, but my cousins both male, their wives, have/are expecting unidentical twins and like greatgrandad boy/girl pairs

I get a lot of people asking if/when we will be having a boy now we have a girl... (it gets wearing after 4.5years TTC DD is 6 now too) I just say speak to DH as its his testes that produce the decision makers and I have had 8 MCs too so a healthy, full term live baby will do fine... I couldn't give a fuck if it comes out an animal at this stage

its funny how life turns out my mum and dad had me and my sister so just girls, we both have two boys each and my mum and dad are thrilled with their four lovely grandsons. I still get asked i i will be trying for a girl well no i,m 39.in november had two nightmare deliveries and very grateful to have my two wonderful boys alive and well. Plus ds no 2 is two next month and i really dont want to go through it all again i.m a born worrier worried all theway through both pregnancies and new born stage [delightful as it was].

I have 2 boys, and at some point will probably try for a third. I can honestly, hand on heart, say that I have no desire for a girl at all. A girl would be fine and very welcome, but another boy would be equally as nice. My boys are fab (and DS1 is quite a sensitive soul, not really very "rough and tumble" - we have lots in common - so why wouldn't I want another one the same? . I do get lots of questions though about whether we are going to "try for a girl", and a well meaning friend with one of each recently tried to persuade me to have a third because she thought I was missing out and would enjoy a girl so much. People are odd!

My MIL came to the hospital to look after DS1 whilst we went and had the 20 week scan.
We we told that we were having a second boy but she had already left to go back to the car with DS1.
She never said it was lovely congratulations or anything when we got back.. Nothing.
Ds2 is her 4th grandson.
We all love him though. Doesn't make any difference, it's nice having 2 of the same.