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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry at dh for leaving DIY job half-done yesterday and now it is raining and can't be completed

44 replies

lecce · 09/04/2012 08:46

We want to put our house on the market and it needs a few things doing before we can do so. One of these is to sand and varnish the outside of the windows. It is quite a big job as they are in squares. Dh is, to put it mildly, not that keen on DIY, but we don't have the money to pay someone else so he has drawn up a list of jobs and started working through them. For background, I am f/t teacher (so on hols these 2 weeks) and he is SAHD.

He began doing the windows Saturday and we agreed that yesterday I would take the dc out (as I have done every day of the hols so far) so he could get on. However, yesterday he announced he was coming with us as he deserves one day with his family and he even accused me of not wanting him to come, regardless of DIY commitments Hmm. The windows are sanded but most of them are now unvarnished so I didn't feel it was a good time to leave them. He left them. Now today it is raining and is forecast to do so all week. So he has said he will have to leave them for now and snapped at me when I asked what would happen with the ones that are untreated. I am worried that they will get start to rot and I think he is too but is just snapping at me because he thinks he should have stayed and done it yesterday.

I am so pissed off at this being left half done, especially as it has been he who has been pushing for us to move and he who decided what needed doing before we could do so - this is not something I have pushed for, though I am keen to move.

AIBU?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 09/04/2012 08:49

I think you are a being a bit unfair. He wanted to spend some time with his family on a day out.. windows will not rot over the space of one week!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 09/04/2012 08:55

YABU.... the wood won't rot in a week. DIY jobs are always more fiddly, boring and take longer than you bargain for. Yes, he should probably have soldiered on rather than join you on the day out but, equally, it's not his fault it's now raining. Maybe your view is coloured by the fact that you don't really want to move house?

LindyHemming · 09/04/2012 08:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Catsmamma · 09/04/2012 08:58

why on earth could you not have helped him???...both diy and both had a day out...you'd probably have been done by now.

DinahMoHum · 09/04/2012 08:59

id probably be a little irritated, but i think yabu to be angry or say anything. Why couldnt you do the windows while he spent the day with the kids?

Original poster
lecce · 09/04/2012 09:02

I am gald a few people have said they won't rot in a week - I genuinely am worried about that and don't know how long it would be ok to leave them.

I really do want to move - looking on Rightmove (I know, I know) has made me more angry about this as there is some lovely stuff out there but ours is not even ready to go on market yet.

Me helping him would not have helped - we have a demanding 2yo and I really think the best way I can help is by taking the dc out of the way.

OP posts:
Condensedmilk · 09/04/2012 09:04

Yanbu.

Half finished jobs are my pet peeve.

Original poster
lecce · 09/04/2012 09:08

DinahMoHum I see very little of the dc in term-time and see the hols as my time with them so that wouldn't reslly work for me. Having said that, if I thought I would do a better/more efficient job than dh I would have done it - but that is far from being the case. Neither of us is much good at this sort of thing but he is loads better than me and i would be scared of going up that big ladder Grin.

OP posts:
fedupofnamechanging · 09/04/2012 09:19

I'll join you in being a bit cross. My dh has promised to do some of our DIY stuff, now that he's finished his big assignment for this term. the weeding is supposed to be done this weekend and now it is raining and I know he won't want to go out there and do it in the rain.

We have velux windows that need sanding and painting - that is a huge job, plus some replastering, huge hedge trimming etc. I hate diy and I hate living in a house that needs work doing, with no time/money to do any of it.

LindyHemming · 09/04/2012 09:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

daenerysstormborn · 09/04/2012 09:40

if he had varnished them, they may not have dried before the rain started anway and the wet would have damaged the varnish finish, so it's probably best to leave them for now till the weather improves.

squeakytoy · 09/04/2012 09:46

the weeding is supposed to be done this weekend and now it is raining and I know he won't want to go out there and do it in the rain.

dont blame him, would you want to do it?

AmberLeaf · 09/04/2012 09:55

YABU

Sounds like he gets the shitwork.

LaurieFairyCake · 09/04/2012 09:58

Is there any reason you can't do it?

I have taped a groundsheet over windows and painted in the rain - modern varnishes are touch dry in 30 minutes.

The painting part will be nice and relaxing, why don't you go and do it - get the kids to help with the weeding Smile

Pickgo · 09/04/2012 09:59

Make sure you let the wood dry out for a few days before varnishing or you will just trap the moisture and then they will rot quite quickly. But yeah don't sweat about them getting wet now they will dry out after a day ot two of sun and be none the worse.

Karma - gardening is supposed to be a pleasure you know. Why not just let the weeds wild plants grow? The garden police won't mind you know [bugrin]

ivykaty44 · 09/04/2012 10:06

TBH I don't see why you don't do the job, sanding windows is hardly brain surgery and you could do the DIY and your dh could take the child out.

Tuesday may be dry so you can get started on the job first light in the morning.

You and your dh both work full time so extra jobs will need to be done and possibly you can encourage him to help you pain a bit later on in the job.

fedupofnamechanging · 09/04/2012 10:31

squeekytoy - I wouldn't want to do it, but it is not a great surprise on a bank holiday weekend for it to be raining. Which is why he should have done it yesterday, or the day before, when it wasn't. He said he'd do it, has delayed it for months - the time has come! I do plenty of other stuff. 'Tis fair division of labour.

Pickgo - Last time I did it, I pulled up what my mother told me were plants and left some of the weeds, because they were prettier and I was convinced they were supposed to be there. Sadly, the front garden is now getting jungle like and is starting to bury the car [bugrin]

mayorquimby · 09/04/2012 10:33

"the weeding is supposed to be done this weekend and now it is raining and I know he won't want to go out there and do it in the rain."

TAwww you poor thing,that must be doubly annoying. maybe if you ask him nicely he'll share his secret with you and tell you where the garden is.

fedupofnamechanging · 09/04/2012 10:40

Nah, don't be silly. I can live without knowing [buwink]

TidyDancer · 09/04/2012 10:45

I really can't see why you didn't do it. You can't get shitty with DH when you weren't willing to help. I'm not sure what's wrong with him wanting to spend the day with you, I think that sounds nice.

So yeah, YABU.

WorraLiberty · 09/04/2012 11:01

Another one here who can't see why you didn't do it yourself and let him take the kids out.

At least it would be finished by now...and the weeding too.

LindyHemming · 09/04/2012 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ivykaty44 · 09/04/2012 13:35

he said he would do it - but when he said he would do it I bet he didn't know that his dp would go on a family day out without him for two days running if she had her way.

I can't imagine any wife here saying oh darling I will do the hoovering, cooking and cleaning over easter - you take the children out for a day out two days running whilst I do those jobs.

mynewpassion · 09/04/2012 15:18

YABU. He wanted spend time with his family away from work and DIY for ONE day. Why would you get all shirty about it?

You could have all stayed in and helped with the DIY. My dad is good at DIY stuff; my mom not. However, she would stay and help with doing the odd holding, grabbing a tool, bringing him drinks. It helped my dad get the job done sooner. She did this when we were young and she had more than 1 demanding child.

McHappyPants2012 · 09/04/2012 15:20

When dh is doing DIY I am there helping in any way I can, pass tools or have a bit of a conversation.

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