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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to move to the country and live in a village?

67 replies

Ohnoredundo · 08/04/2012 20:33

We are really quite settled in the 'burbs. Have a lovely house, friends and family close by and good schools nearby. Also have a lovely community that we're quite well integrated with. BUT I have a weird obsession with moving to the country and living in a village. It's all Cath Kidston's fault I believe...

Would be interested in hearing from people who've lived in both suburbs and villages. Am I over romanticising village life and is it a case of the grass always being greener and me being an ungrateful wench?

OP posts:

littlemachine · 08/04/2012 20:35

I said the same when watching The Vicar of Dibley yesterday.

Kayano · 08/04/2012 20:35

Vote
For burbs here

In a village I would be 'oh it's amazing and quaint and lovely!' but after trying to hit the shops easily and go hardcore shopping I would be 'oh No. Mistake!!!'

DogEared · 08/04/2012 20:36

It is lovely. Fields and fields and mountains... Walks all the time, a great community.
One thing I noticed about living in a large town was that you don't connect with nature in the same way... You're not as aware of the seasons as you are in a village. The whole character of a village changes with the seasons, and it's a lovely thing. :)

CrockoDuck · 08/04/2012 20:37

I grew up in a village - and our house was in the middle of a common. Not too far from civilization, but far out enough that we felt "countrified".

Have to say it was wonderful. Great neighbours, long, long walks all of that stuff.

But, like anything else, there's a lot of "depends" - which village, whether the neighbours are nice, how close are schools, GPs etc etc.

You definitely need a reliable car though.

bronze · 08/04/2012 20:37

We moved from rurality to a town. I hate it

mintchocchick · 08/04/2012 20:38

It can be very hard to integrate in villages - I've found anyway. People who have lived there for years don't necessarily welcome newcomers that openly. You have to "serve your time" before you're accepted and that could take years.

Where you are sounds great. Just go walking a bit more and enjoy the countryside that way. I'd never move back to village life!

cadburyseggsarebest · 08/04/2012 20:42

I love the country. I don't worry about the dc out playing. In the summer they play out till dark.

Annpan88 · 08/04/2012 20:43

I grew up in a really nice suburb. Then I lives in a not so nice city. Now I live in a village and its wonderful. Was just reading that thread about paying For days out. Never have to. Lots of countryside, woodland for camping and walks and loads of lovely pubs and tea rooms. Always something to do

GrimmaTheNome · 08/04/2012 20:43

I like living in a village - get interesting birds in the garden and like being able to do a nice walk without driving first.

But - the village shop closed down, so we have to drive to shop. And we aren't really integrated into the village (good neighbours though) - probably that would have happened if DD had been eligible for the village school.

Original poster

Ohnoredundo · 08/04/2012 20:44

Looks like village life is winning so far... We do have lovely villages not too far but it's just convincing DH to up sticks. He's so settled. I really like where we live but I don't love it. Modern house, no character but it is spacious and we'd have to compromise on that. It's a weird need that I just can't seem to shake off no matter how hard I try. And I'm 30 now with a baby, and would love to do it before DC knows any different.

OP posts:

crikeybadger · 08/04/2012 20:45

Where you are does sound great.

In fact we're trying to move out of the country in to a town. Fed up of driving everywhere- school, library, cinema, swimming pool.

I have lived in another village where there was a great community spirit and lots going on, but not this one so you'll need to be picky and do some research before reaching for the Cath Kidston tablecloth!

everlong · 08/04/2012 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MiraNova · 08/04/2012 20:49

I grew up in a town, lived for about 10 years in London, and now live in a village. They all have their merits, but I love living in a village - our village is quite large - with a few pubs, couple of takeaways and some shops as well as a primary school. There are a lot of things to do - football, badminton, tennis, horse-riding, country walks, garden club/allotments etc.

Everyone is friendly and helpful, and you soon get to know people, either via the school or joining one of the activities.

The bus service into the nearby towns isn't great, so most people do have cars. I just love all the green trees and space and would never want to go back to living in a town or city again..

Original poster

Ohnoredundo · 08/04/2012 20:52

Thanks for all your replies. My DH thinks that if we did do it I'd still not be entirely happy - he thinks I'm always wanting the 'next thing'. So are those living in a village properly, will never move again, settled, settled? Or does that not exist?

OP posts:

HarrietSchulenberg · 08/04/2012 20:57

Most villages are populated only by pensioners between the hours of 8 and 6. Everyone under the age of 500 drives out to work, en masse, first thing. The only people who can afford to live in villages round here are the rich, the rich retired and the double-incomed.

I went to school in a village in Cheshire. Of 30 children in my class, only 2 still live in the village. One never left home and the other moved back into his parents' house after they died. There is no way any of the rest of us could afford to live there, even though most people in that class had been born and bred there. I wasn't, I was an "incomer" and it took AGES to be counted as a real local (I think I just about did it by the time I left high school 10 years later).

The really sad thing is that every single house that has been bought/sold in that village for the past 10 years has gone to people who have moved out from nearby cities hankering after a well-marketed (thanks Hugh F-W) country life, but commute back to those cities every day. They like the idea of country life but can't survive on the reality of a rural income.

It really isn't all bunting, labradors and volvo estates.

happyoverhere · 08/04/2012 20:58

Have lived in a village all my life. 30 minutes to the nearest decent supermarket; 45 minutes to the nearest decent shop. Not much choice of state schools, so need to go private. One bus a week - I joke not! - and 6 miles to the nearest station for the slow train to london.

Pick your village carefully and think about transport, unless you want to be a taxi every evening and weekend for your LOs. Of course the villages with good transport are VERY expensive too.

Shit I have depressed myself now lol

DioneTheDiabolist · 08/04/2012 20:58

I moved back to the city a few years ago, having spent nearly 10 years in a village and a small town. While the country was great for big sky and wildlife, since having DS I have to admit that it's city for me.

I love choice of schools, the convenience of having amenities close by, public transport, pavements, museums, libraries, zoo, theatre, various festivals and more employment and adult education opportunities. The excellent transport links means that within a relatively short time I can be in the country or at the seaside. I also have more support from friends and family.

The only thing I miss is Big Sky.

Think carefully OP, village life isn't all Vicar of Dibly. It can be isolating, your friends and family will have the best intentions in the world, but will not visit as frequently as they say. But if your family is pretty self sufficient, it's doable.

mintchocchick · 08/04/2012 21:03

I think it's a really big risk - the lack of diversity can be a problem. If you're into playgroups say, there will only be the one and if you don't click with the parents at that one playgroup, you're stuck having to put up with it or drive to a neighbouring village. Likewise with the primary school - if other parents are cliquey, once you live there it's too late and you just have to cope and get on with them as best you can because you'll be together for four years.

At least in a city, you can try out lots of different playgroups or whatever your thing is, and find one which suits you.

blapbird · 08/04/2012 21:03

I vote Village, I love my village there isnt one neighbour I couldn't call on for help if something went wrong, in the summer we end up having fires in our back gardens and anyone walking past gets invited in, parties and chit chat as we leave for work or come home from work.
The beauty of it too, I love the view out of my window, when I wake up I look out the window and feel really grateful and safe.

cardibach · 08/04/2012 21:04

I love it in my very small, very rural village. No shop except in summer (then only if you wnat ice cream and a bucket and spade). No school. Very few buses. Does have a pub (yay!). DD (16) loves it too - I do have to do a fair bit of taxi-ing, but I figure I'd have to in most towns to for safety/convenience reasons. No commuters here as we are to far from anywhere to commute - most people work nearby or for themselves. Fair few farmers and some retired people.
It's a very friendly village. I can walk on the cliff path without taking a car to get there and I only have to put up with annoying people driving on my roads and walking where I want to be for about 12 weeks of the year (tourists).
It depends entirely on what you want and what kind of village it is.

lechatnoir · 08/04/2012 21:06

I moved from city (single/couple) to town (baby/toddler) and then village 3 years ago with a 3 yr old & newborn. We absolutely love it and it's ideal with young children having park, school, nursery, pub etc all on your doorstep not to mention all DC friends living closeby BUT I would say you need to put in some serious groundwork if you want to properly integrate into village life and without nursery / school age children it could be very lonely & isolating.
FWIW, much as we love it here, when DC are both secondary school age & wanting more independence, we will probably move back into town.
LCN

cardibach · 08/04/2012 21:08

Oh, and whoever said they had to go private for schools because of lack of choice - what if the Hobson's Choice school is also excellent? I can;t fault my daughter's state primary where there were only 15 in her class (that was more than one year group). I couldn't afford to pay for that kind of ratio! SHe's at the Senior school where I teach (her choice - there were 2 others she could have got bussed to)so I can't possibly comment on quality :) However, you might want to consider whether I'd let her come if it were crap! Small schools and small choice do not have to mean sub-standard.

lechatnoir · 08/04/2012 21:09

Eta if in doubt, choose a village near a decent town do you can at least hop in the car / bus for your cappuccino/retail/wine bar fix!

GrimmaTheNome · 08/04/2012 21:11

Oh, and whoever said they had to go private for schools because of lack of choice..

Our village school is good. Most of them are. Trouble is hereabouts the choice is CofE or RC. They weren't viable choices for us so private it was. Obviously this isn't an issue for everyone or everywhere but it is something that you should be aware of before moving.

Peacocklady · 08/04/2012 21:13

We moved to the country for 6 months. At the time our dc were 1 and 2.5. The nature was amazing- rolling lush green hills, forests and wild deer and thf cottage had a log burner and an open fire. On a day to day basis it was difficult though, there were no pavements on the narrow roads for me to push my double buggy or distractible walking toddler along on. There was no shop or friend nearby. Our neighbours were 2 retired couples one of whom accused our dog of attacking their hens (wasn't her they caught the right dog going back for another go) and told me off for letting her run in an empty field that didn't belong to us.
I had to drive everywhere and there was nowhere to go in the evenings or to babysit once dd slept through. The beauty wasn't enough to make up for distance to friends, family and things to do. The nearest village-town (bakewwll) was mainly populated by older people. I was very glad to move back to the city to the same road as 2 of my best friends but have revisited the country many times for the day it's still only 20 mins away.
It might have been different if the kids had been at school and could meet others but then it would have been about finding after school care because I like working. It's beautiful and my soul felt replenished but I felt hemmed in by 2 young kids. Think about how much you value socialising with your current friends and the amenities versus beauty and nature.

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