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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take them out of school for three days?

87 replies

lisad123 · 08/04/2012 17:01

I know this is going to divide all or turn into a bun fight, but I'm strong and have helmet and popcorn ready :)
I have two girls who we would like to take to Disneyland Paris. Dd1 will be in year 5 and dd2 will be in reception. They both have autism and don't manage large crowds and noise too well.
I have looked at school holidays but friend made it clear that the whole of France is on holiday in aug! Weekends are mad busy and we are better to go midweek.
Do I go knowing we might get fined from school but know the girls will have a better time OR risk the school holidays??

OP posts:

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 08/04/2012 17:03

Oh just go, they are only young and 3 days won't make any difference.

gettinghappy · 08/04/2012 17:05

Absolutely. 3 days off school is blanced by learning about another culture ( on the way there and back) experiencing new situations and IMO and as the parent of a child with disabilities, your children have a right to a happy holiday just as much as any other child. If that means you need to do things a bit differently then so be it. :)

Ineedalife · 08/04/2012 17:05

Gosh lisad... you are brave posting that on here.

SecretNutellaFix · 08/04/2012 17:06

So aged 10 and 5? I would go in term time, especially as you have valid reasons for going when you want to go and not just because it will be cheaper.

Neither are in critical years for tests and are of an age to really enjoy it, so go for it.

SoupDreggon · 08/04/2012 17:06

If you are prepared to take the consequences, go. Factor any potential fine into your budget beforehand :)

Ineedalife · 08/04/2012 17:06

Just to add, I take mine out every year. Although am a bit more stressed about this year. Go for it and enjoy.

ragged · 08/04/2012 17:06

I wouldn't risk the school hols, that's for sure.
Judging from the swim pool this afternoon, a day like Easter Sunday might not be so busy, though. I had a very quiet New Year's day with DC at Sea World, once.
Why does it have to be Disneyland? Is there something else they'd enjoy just as much that you could do in the school hols?

Tranquilidade · 08/04/2012 17:07

I think as your girls have autism their requirements are different to the average and the surely the school will consider that when you put the holiday request in

I'm not in favour of parents taking children out of school to lie by a pool in Spain because it saves them a few quid but where there is a valid reason it's different.

SoupDreggon · 08/04/2012 17:08

PMSL at "learning about another culture". A trip to Disneyland does not in any way fit into this category! No, not even the trip there and back :o

ragged · 08/04/2012 17:08

imho & ime, there isn't much learning about other cultures whilst visiting Disneyland.

Kayano · 08/04/2012 17:08

Go!!!!!

LIZS · 08/04/2012 17:09

Depends - do check the European holidays. We found mid May (Ascension Day is a long weekend as is Whitsun) as horrendous as late August then schools can break up anytime after mid June fior summer. An off peak weekend would possibly better but I don't think it is ever really quiet. Also you may get special fastpass tickets to avoid queues.

Original poster

lisad123 · 08/04/2012 17:12

Lol @ othe cultures, not sure that would wash but could try

OP posts:

TidyDancer · 08/04/2012 17:25

IME Disneyland is not a good place at any time for children (or adults for that matter) who don't like crowds.

Taking them out of school is generally not something I would support, but it would depend on the point in the year. Ie, towards the end of term not a whole lot usually gets done.

2old2beamum · 08/04/2012 17:27

Go for it surely if they can't cope with crowds it is the best time and they may learn socially to deal with smaller crowds (learning in small steps) I took my 2 Down Syndrome for 3 weeks in term time while in secondary school to America Texas, no problems with the LEA.They did a daily diary which they enjoyed writing.l The girls not the LEA

Floggingmolly · 08/04/2012 17:35

If they don't cope well with crowds you might want to rethink Disneyland?????
Just because it's term time doesn't mean it won't be mobbed with toddlers avoiding the bigger children.

Babylon1 · 08/04/2012 17:39

Just so you're clear, a fine would be £50 per parent per child, so £200 in total. Looking at some of the Disneyland Paris prices, you'd still be quids in to get a short break there "off peak" and pay the fine.

I'm not usually an advocate of term time hols ( as an ex truancy officer ) but I do understand the pressures both financially and logistically, especially now I have one of compulsory school age. The other thing I would do is write to the head teacher and explain the situation re the autism, just as you have here, each case has to be looked at individually unless your school has taken a blanket decision not to allow term time hols in any circumstance .....
HTH!

Original poster

lisad123 · 08/04/2012 17:44

I'm pretty sure the school will refuse. When dh was dx macmillian gave us money to go away in between treatment and appointments which clashed with dd1 school (she was year 1), and they refused to authorise it we didn't get a fine, but think they will this time.

OP posts:

startthefansplease · 08/04/2012 17:47

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn as this poster has privacy concerns.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 08/04/2012 17:51

I wouldn't do it in Y5.

BurningBridges · 08/04/2012 17:52

Hello again lisad - how are you feeling lately? I cannot imagine how you would get fined as its only 3 days, but don't quote me on it. I think as your children are autistic you could state that amongst your reasons for going outside of school holidays. I really wouldn't worry. However, just in case it helps, French schools go back around August bank holiday so if you go late August early Sept (depends when your school starts back again I suppose), that'll be quieter too.

GilbertandGeorge · 08/04/2012 18:01

I know this is divisive on MN, but I would not hesitate to take them out. Our head teacher is brilliant and understanding over taking children out for a few days.

The fact that their autism makes crowds hard to deal with is a very good reason imo.

Last Easter, my 2 had different school holidays. We were going to US and took youngest out of primary (y4) for last 3 days and head authorised it, no problem. It also saved us about £600 in air fares.

willbeskinny · 08/04/2012 18:06

Can schools fine parents yet? I didn't think they could? Was in the news a few wks back, but was something the government were talking about bringing in. It wasn't confirmed.

I took my autistic DS out in March to go to Disneyland for exactly the same reasons. His school sent letters home at the beginning of the year stating no absences, but I put in a hol request anyway. Fully expected them to say no I would've taken him anyway, but they sent bck next day saying yes.

And as someone else posted, the cost of the fine would prob stil make the hol significantly cheaper than if you go in hols.

Also, the school only care for their attendance rates. Unless your child is persistantly absent or missing school at vital times, i.e exams etc, who cares if they miss a couple of days school.

YAdefNBU. Go for it and enjoy.

Madeyemoodysmum · 08/04/2012 18:07

Go and have a great time. We just got back from 3 nights mid march in Disney ( no hols in uk or France). It was still busy but I dread to think what it's like in the holidays. I don't think Disney is ever truly quiet so don't expect it to be empty. You will have to queue for some rides even off season.
But enjoy these memories will last a lifetime. :)

blubberyboo · 08/04/2012 18:07

no doubt this will run and run

but i would fully support you regardless of whether your kids had autism or not

yanbu go and enjoy

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