I'm assuming HE'S being unreasonable?? Shouting at me because of a disability??

[MrsCostner]

I have a stutter, always have and it's been a pain in my arse since I started talking. My mum used to get irritated by it, family members used to mimic me, I got bullied at school because of it and have fucked up many job interviews with it. But I can't do anything about it.
This morning I called DH to tell him his car was ready at the garage. I have a migraine and am feeling a bit stressed out and stuttered pretty much every word about 6 times. Suddenly he blurted out "for fucks sake, just tell me the basics, I have stuff to be getting on with". How nasty is that?? So I basically told him "car is ready at garage" and stuttered throughout, mainly because he'd stressed me out further and made me more aware of it. I heard him mutter "jesus christ, finally" when I'd finished. I started to tell him he had upset me, had a massive attack of the stutters and he shouted "just shut up!" and turned off his phone!!!

That was this morning. At 1pm he came in and said he didn't want me calling him at work anymore as it was frustrating listening to me "blabber on" and he couldn't be doing with it. I told him he had really upset me this morning and he went ballistic and shouted at me that I should get something done about it because it drives him insane. He said I embarrassed him at the garage because it took me "years" to tell the guy what car I wanted, he said he hates going to lunch with me because other people look across at us when I talk and he hates me going out with his friends because I "can't even talk properly". This came out of the blue, I have seen him getting annoyed with me before (much in the same way as my mother used to) but he's never actually said anything before.

I said to him if I'm so embarassing and annoying maybe he should leave. I was upset so stutter was terrible and he blew his top and stormed over to me and yelled in my face "shut up, just shut up".

Like I say this is the first time this has ever come to light and is probably the first major row we've ever had. I'm upset for a number of reasons, one being I can't believe this thing has ruined a marriage now. I feel if I annoy him that much he can't love me???

That is absolutely disgusting, the guy is a total asshole. The fact that he would treat someone he supposedly loves so badly is just unbelievable - poor you. I'm never a "leave the bastard" poster on here but I really think he needs some kind of real shock to show him just how unacceptable his behavior was. If you have anywhere to go for a few days I would do it.

Oh dear. This doesn't sound good at all. Whether it's a stutter or some other aspect of your looks or your character, when someone who was once able to love the whole you, including your quirks and flaws, suddenly starts to be irritated and embarrassed by you, it is a sign that they are outgrowing the relationship and becoming discontent. I am sorry. I think it is about bigger things than just your stutter.

Is there any update on what's happening here? Has the H in question apologised/explained at all?

He definitely was being unreasonable.
Definitely. And I agree that that kind of behaviour is something over which it's worth considering leaving him for.

My mum's friend has a stutter and I can understand it being a bit exasperating at times but, obviously, it's more exasperating for the stutterer!

I do think there are good techniques and stuff to help minimise a stutter if not get rid of it but maybe you've been down that route before.

Hope he will apologise.

Poor you. How awful. He was being VVU.

My DH has a stammer, its less noticeable now than when we first started going out, but the truth is now I don't really notice it, even when he takes a bit longer to say something.

If it did annoy me (and I should point out again that I barely notice it even when he does stammer) I would never ever comment on it, because I want to increase his confidence not destroy it.

You don't say in your OP how long you've been together, but is this not something you have discussed?

To the poster who suggested a stammer can be "cured" - it can be improved - although this may require a lot of effort, but I am not convinced that a universal cure as such exists.

Oh dear OP. I hope that this was a one of and that he is know grovelling for all he's worth. But if it isn't, you might need to think whether you would want to stay with someone who treats you this way. I am very disturbed at the way he doesn't seem to want you to be out (garage, with him, talk to his friends) it sounds controlling and manipulative. The fact that he probably knows how your stutter has affected you and is using it against you would also be telling of an abuser. and as for him shouting you down especially right up in your face when you try to talk to him is utterly repulsive. The problem is not with you, it is with him.