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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to "demand" an extraction?

87 replies

bjf1 · 06/04/2012 23:02

My dentist keeps insisting that she can 'save' my bad tooth. For six or more months now she has filled and drilled and refused my pleas to just take the bloody thing out.
I am getting really pissed off with this now as it flares up every month or so and I end up self medicating on prescription painkillers AND alcohol just to get through the pain.
I am seriously considering just going to another dental practice and offering to pay any amount of cash just to get it removed.
Can I actually do this and AIBU or is my dentist (who clearly seems to gain great pleasure in seeing my pain?
Please note: I am now unable to eat anything again so am in a very bad moodAngry

OP posts:
SparkyMcSparrowLaidMiniEggs · 06/04/2012 23:05

If its that bad they should take it out.

YANBU I have had a bad tooth and I never ever wish to have one again. I hate the dentist but was so happy when they took it out!

AgentZigzag · 06/04/2012 23:06

You must be able to, it's your bloody mouth!

And your bloody money too, I bet the work you've had done has set you back a bit.

WorraLiberty · 06/04/2012 23:07

I think another dentist would only extract in an emergency

You have every right to tell your dentist you want it removed

If anything, it's bloody cheaper than to have to keep going back and paying them to treat it each time.

marriedinwhite · 06/04/2012 23:07

You can go to what ever dentist you want and I would certainly visit another one for a second opinion. You might have to pay though.

FannyFifer · 06/04/2012 23:08

She obviously gets more money from you to keep filling & drilling.
Refuse anything else and make her take it out, if she won't, ask for a referral to someone who will.

Original poster
bjf1 · 06/04/2012 23:08

I just think dentists must be on some kind of commission for every bad tooth they save.
If I have been suffering for over 6 months and I want it out, what's the problem?
I have no idea how much it costs, but am willing to pay!

OP posts:
Original poster
bjf1 · 06/04/2012 23:10

Do I have to get her to refer me to someone else?
Can't I just go to another practice and see another dentist (behind her back)?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 06/04/2012 23:12

married she'd have to pay her own dentist anyway? Confused

OP, if you want another dentist to extract your tooth in a non emergency situation, you'll have to change dentist I think.

But there's really no need...just tell your dentist you want it removed and stick to it.

1950sHousewife · 06/04/2012 23:12

@Fannyfifer and bjfi - crazily enough, it's better on the NHS financially for a dentist to pull rather than save a tooth. you lose tons of money root treating a tooth, especially a molar.
It sounds like you have a very diligent dentist bjfi. Wanting to save a tooth is a sign of an ethical one (again, especially on the NHS) rather than a charlatan. They probably aren't totally aware of how much you want this tooth out.

I would recommend calling on monday and explain that you want an appointment for an extraction. If you truly do not feel you will benefit from saving this tooth, it's your decision finally to have one.

AgentZigzag · 06/04/2012 23:13

Of course you can change your dentist at any time you like, and you won't be going behind her back either, you're free to choose.

But make sure you get somewhere else set up before you leave if you're with an NHS dentist because some have really long waiting lists.

What did she say when you told her you'd rather have the tooth out? I can't believe she just ignored you.

SparkyMcSparrowLaidMiniEggs · 06/04/2012 23:13

She doesn't have to refer you just go and see another dentist!

Grumpystiltskin · 06/04/2012 23:14

I just want to point out that if a dentist carries out a treatment they don't think is in a patient's best interests, no matter how many consent forms are signed, the dentist is still liable if the patient ultimately complains.

Dentists in the UK are more likely than dentists anywhere else in the world to be sued. Fact. This is why we are risk averse.

OP I am quite shocked that you genuinely think your dentist enjoys seeing you in pain. Your dentist didn't cause the tooth to need treatment in the first place did she...?

SparkyMcSparrowLaidMiniEggs · 06/04/2012 23:15

Grumpy maybe she does. Some dentists are pure evil!
I had one stab me in a rotten tooth. It fucking hurt and she said "Oh, sorry" . She was a bitch!!!!!

Grumpystiltskin · 06/04/2012 23:17

And she put the rot there did she? Would you rather your dentist didn't examine your teeth thoroughly & just assumed a black Mark was a stain rather than decay? Seriously? Pure evil? Grow up.

AgentZigzag · 06/04/2012 23:18

'Your dentist didn't cause the tooth to need treatment in the first place did she...?'

That sounds like you're saying the dentist can do as she pleases because the OP brought it on herself Grumpy.

It doesn't matter how the OPs tooth got how it is, if she's left feeling powerless to go tell her dentist to get the fucking thing out, that's really bad.

The OP should be asked not told what's going to happen.

SparkyMcSparrowLaidMiniEggs · 06/04/2012 23:19

Grumpy I suppose your teeth are perfect then Hmm

AgentZigzag · 06/04/2012 23:19

You might be right about the cause of the OPs tooth needing treatment, but she hasn't actually said it's tooth decay, you're just presuming it is.

ToadsPorn · 06/04/2012 23:24

Cost me £47 to have 2 teeth removed, worth every penny. I hated the bloody things, the toothache was the worst pain imaginable. Dentist thought I was nuts, but problem now solved finally completely and forever [bugrin]

Grumpystiltskin · 06/04/2012 23:25

sparky yes they are thanks.

I'm just pointing out how it is from a dentist's perspective. If we do treatment that goes against what is deemed best by a majority if other dentists then we can lose our livelihood. If OP's dentist refuses to remove the tooth then OP has every right to find a dentist who will do it. Dentists have autonomy as well as patients. In the UK,dentists are risk averse because of the number of patients who sue. Sone of them demand veneers and crowns & despite the dentist's warning, when it goes wrong, they sue. If a similar scenario applied to your profession, what would your advice be?

Original poster
bjf1 · 06/04/2012 23:26

Actually, it probably is my fault that the tooth is bad. But, I still think my dentist should take it out if I ask her to....and I have lots.
It hurts, she keeps furking about with it, it still hurts, TAKE IT OUT.
I mean, it's not like she's going to get some fancy gong for saving my tooth is she?
Or do dentists have an awards ceremony....like the Oscars, or the Grammys?
That's it. She is definitely on some kind of commission.

OP posts:
Grumpystiltskin · 06/04/2012 23:29

She would definitely lose less money by taking it out. Sometimes the long term stability of your teeth can be compromised by removing a tooth. For example, the opposite teeth can over erupt, tilt or rotate into the space left. There could be reasons why she thinks it's good to keep it. What did she say when you asked her to remove it?

Original poster
bjf1 · 06/04/2012 23:30

Toads, agree with you. In fact, I find toothache worse than labour. £47? Bargain.
Grumpy how can doing what other dentists think is best be better than doing what the patient wants?

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 06/04/2012 23:33

It's not too much of a surprise that you're a dentist by the way you post Grumpy Grin

It must be a difficult profession to be in, a 'necessary evil'. Not the dentists themselves, but having a tooth done is voluntarily doing something you know is going to cause pain, and you can't help but associate the person doing it with the pain.

I'm sure you're lovely though Grin

I've had three wisdom teeth out one at a time because they kept getting infected, I was a bit shell shocked afterwards, but like TP, it was such a relief.

Grumpystiltskin · 06/04/2012 23:33

The test for negligence is to do what would be generally accepted by a group of similarly qualified peers. This is ubiquitous through healthcare & is why its not acceptable in the UK just to do what your patient wants but to ensure that what you do conforms to all of the ethical principles.

What reason did she give for not wanting to take the tooth out when you asked her?

1950sHousewife · 06/04/2012 23:34

bjfi - are you NHS?

If you are, please don't go around accusing your dentist of the fraud you are accusing her of to people around you. If she is NHS, an extraction takes about 20mins and jobs done. A root treatment say, on a molar takes 1hr 30 mins-ish, so it's in her best interest financially to get you in an out of the surgery as fast as she can as she'll be being paid exactly the same for both. She sounds, at worst, overenthusiastic about trying to keep your mouth intact.

The problem goes the other way around usually!

Perhaps she genuinely doesn't understand how much you want this tooth out. I've seen this happen before.

And Sparky, your story is bizarre. You had a problem with a tooth, she needed to see if it was decayed (as non-decayed black marks can also mimic decay), she apologised for causing you pain, so she's a bitch? I'd love you to spend a day in a dental surgery to see how it works!