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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to "demand" an extraction?

87 replies

bjf1 · 06/04/2012 23:02

My dentist keeps insisting that she can 'save' my bad tooth. For six or more months now she has filled and drilled and refused my pleas to just take the bloody thing out.
I am getting really pissed off with this now as it flares up every month or so and I end up self medicating on prescription painkillers AND alcohol just to get through the pain.
I am seriously considering just going to another dental practice and offering to pay any amount of cash just to get it removed.
Can I actually do this and AIBU or is my dentist (who clearly seems to gain great pleasure in seeing my pain?
Please note: I am now unable to eat anything again so am in a very bad moodAngry

OP posts:
Wittsend13 · 07/04/2012 00:00

*Who will extract your tooth.

It's about 300 if it's a wisdom possibly less in not.

1950sHousewife · 07/04/2012 00:00

Worra - fantastic point. All advice that is specific like this has to be with the veil of knowing that nothing on the web is as it seems.

May I say though, that Grumpy has written enough on here for me to absolutely know that she is a dentist - as am I. And she knows that as well. But that doesn't mean to say that everyone else out there should trust our advice 100%.

WorraLiberty · 07/04/2012 00:01

It's a rumour I've heard Ziggers....I nearly fell of my Unicorn in shock Shock

AgentZigzag · 07/04/2012 00:02

That's the third time you've mentioned the dentist not causing the original problem Grumpy, why is that so important to you?

Original poster
bjf1 · 07/04/2012 00:03

£300, bloody hell!

On second thoughts.....

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 07/04/2012 00:03

1950s I used to know a Hospital Porter who claimed to be a Doctor on another forum...Google was her friend but sadly common sense wasn't the friend of some posters.

Fucking mad she was...and eventually found out but not for about 18 months Sad

1950sHousewife · 07/04/2012 00:03

I need to move to London. I'd be minting it there...sigh.

Grumpystiltskin · 07/04/2012 00:04

worra completely agree. I was just hoping that OP was in an area that I know has NHS dentists with vacancies. Derby isn't I'm afraid.

OP have you tried calling your PCT 01246 231255 and asking them for a list of NHS dentists (if they don't hold one then you should speak to your MP) so this isn't so expensive for you?

That would be my best advice to you.

AgentZigzag · 07/04/2012 00:05

Grumpy and 1950's, can I ask what state your teeth are in, and how you feel seeing it from The Other Side when you go to the dentist? How do you decide who to go to?

Also, do you ever do any dental work on yourselves/family?

Purely out of interest and not having a sly dig or anything, just find it really interesting.

Original poster
bjf1 · 07/04/2012 00:06

Not sure why the concern over whether Grumpy is a real dentist or not. It;s not like I;m going to invite her round to pull my tooth. Actually that's not a bad idea at this moment, although the painkillers are finally kicking in, so may not need her.

OP posts:
Wittsend13 · 07/04/2012 00:07

I was desperate at 2am and found them in the phone book. With the pain I was having I didn't care if it cost £300 or £3,000! I'd have still paid it.

1950sHousewife · 07/04/2012 00:10

Grin Zigzag!

Honestly? They are, I'd say, average. By that I mean I have a few fillings and a terrible white filling on my front tooth that my friend did as her first ever white filling about 15 years ago. Really, it's quite horrible but I can't be arsed to change it!
Last week I had a pain from a 'cracked cusp' and finally the bugger chipped of (mesio-lingual to you Grumpy!). It cut my tongue up to shreds and I felt for all the people who had the same problem over the years. Had a lovely chap repair it - he wanted to replace the whole filling but I just wanted it patched up with composite as again, I couldn't be arsed for the whole filling to be drilled out. Not because I'm afraid or hate pain, but because i thought it would be overtreating it.
I have done a couple of 'patches' on my own teeth and do my own Xrays and cleaning. It's not a pretty sight.

So there - I'm a dentist who is incredibly ethical and diligent with her own patients but a lazy sod with her own teeth.

Original poster
bjf1 · 07/04/2012 00:10

Don't mind in the least paying for extraction, but £300 is a lot. Still, needs must.
Will contact another practice tommorrow and hopefully get somewhere. Just wasn't sure if I could go to another dental surgery without permission from my present dentist.

OP posts:
Grumpystiltskin · 07/04/2012 00:11

I did sone work on my husband only yesterday. I have no fillings etc and have had my wisdom teeth out.

The reason I keep saying that zigzag is that it's soul destroying for dentists to be "pure evil" "worse than childbirth" & all the other shite comparisons that are made when the pain that 90% of our patients are in is entirely of their own making.

Today i saw a 24 year old who moaned on & on about how she hated the dentist, she was in pain that left her unable to eat. She was and had been exempt from charges for four years, she had been too busy to visit the dentist, she was unemployed, she had had holes in her teeth for at least two years. Because of the mechanism of her pain it was very difficult for me to get her numb enough to fix her toothache. Is that my fault because I'm a bitch?

WorraLiberty · 07/04/2012 00:12

The concern was only because of the invitation to PM that's all

Again, no disrespect to Grumpy

Grumpystiltskin · 07/04/2012 00:13

OP, you don't need permission. Call NHS direct or PCT to find an NHS practice.

1950sHousewife · 07/04/2012 00:16

I'm with you there Grumpy.

I would love for anyone who thinks dentists are the work of the devil and 'bitches' to come to a surgery and see how hard it is to be a dentist and be entirely pain free to patients. Genuinely, it's very very hard to be totally pain free and I don't think I know a single dentist who is happy about that part. In fact, it's the part that almost drove me to leave the profession because it's incredibly stressful to hurt another person, even if you know it will help them in the long run.
And anyone who has had toothache can tell you that compared to dull throbbing pain in the middle of the night - a dentist's pain is blissful!

WorraLiberty · 07/04/2012 00:18

I'm one of these weird people who actually like going to the dentist Grin

But I do fully understand how other people are so scared/worried that they put it off and put it off until something major happens.

No it doesn't make sense because then they'll have to have much more work done...but I do sympathise with the fact they're scared and so put it off.

Noqontrol · 07/04/2012 00:20

I've not read the other posts, but if it's causing you that much pain then just go to another dentist for a second opinion. I had the same problem as you, I was taking pain killers for 2 months after the 1st dentist had lined the tooth, the second dentist said the best thing was to whip it out, (it was a wisdom tooth, I didn't realise dentists actually tried to save wisdom teeth ). Anyway its gone now, both dentists were Nhs, the tooth has gone, and i'm happy to be pain free.

AgentZigzag · 07/04/2012 00:22

Thanks for answering, and for admitting keeping your teeth healthy isn't always as easy as it sounds 1950's Grin

I feel uncomfortable with you saying about it being the patients fault Grumpy, because it's making a moral judgement about your patients. That you would feel differently about someone who'd had an accident and broken a tooth to someone who drank too much coke.

I see dental treatment as an objective procedure, and the same as expecting a doctor not to pass judgement if the patient self harmed or something. And I can't help but wonder whether the way you think leaks out in any way to the people you treat.

startail · 07/04/2012 00:22

£100 and a lot of pain, as a student to root fill a tooth my next dentist just pulled out. It was never going to work, the stupid thing had hardly any roots.

At least when its opposite number decided to rot she just pulled it out. No throwing money and pain at a lost cause.

Why two and fortunately only two of my molars decide to grow with half size roots I know not, but I certainly don't miss them.

PurpleRomanesco · 07/04/2012 00:31

Grumpy, As a Dentist can you tell me what the flipping point of wisdom teeth are?

They are evil.

DodieSmith · 07/04/2012 00:31

I like going to the dentist too; see it a bit like a spa visit. The feeling of really, really clean teeth is lovely.

Original poster
bjf1 · 07/04/2012 00:34

Well, I never touch coke, do not have a sweet tooth so no biscuits, chocolate, cakes, sweets. Brush my teeth religiously. Do not smoke, drink occassionally (but more when in pain). So I think I am pretty good with my dental care.
I spent a lot a few years ago on veneers. Strangely enough, have had no problems there, just the teeth that I didn;t have veneered have caused a problem.
I am more worried about the increasing amount of painkillers I am having to consume. Surely that is something my dentist should be concerned with.
And yes, I have explained this to her.

OP posts:
DodieSmith · 07/04/2012 00:37

You don't owe her any loyalty if you're not happy. You don't have to get a referral, you just need to look on google and phone somewhere up that you like the look of after seeing if there's any online reviews. It's easy.

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