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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's naff to have just vouchers on your wedding gift list?

37 replies

madmouse · 05/04/2012 17:18

A friend is remarrying to a lovely lady I've met once so far. We received an invitation with a lovely message that they really just want our company but if we so wish there is a gift list with a well known department store.

I got a bit excited thinking I could get them something they really want. Open the list and the only item in there is....gift vouchers!

Is it me?

OP posts:
FunnysInLaJardin · 05/04/2012 17:19

thats what we asked for, so I do think YABU

Sirzy · 05/04/2012 17:20

If they already have most things, or really want one expensive item then I don't have an issue with them asking for vouchers, infact I have given vouchers as a present to someone who hadn't asked for them (with a token keepsake gift to) and they were happy with it.

StillSquiffy · 05/04/2012 17:21

Tis naff to have a wedding list. Especially for a second wedding. Even more so for a remarriage (did they throw all the toasters away when they divorced?). to only have vouchers on it scrapes the bottom of a very deep barrel here.

Original poster
madmouse · 05/04/2012 17:21

OK but then ask for vouchers, don't set up a gift list with just vouchers in it??

OP posts:
Pascha · 05/04/2012 17:21

The only thing we mentioned when asked was B&Q vouchers. We did get a few random lamps and towels but most people were happy to go with our wishes. The randoms were mostly regifted quietly or ebayed. The towels got added to our towel mountain at home and were fine.

dexter73 · 05/04/2012 17:22

YABU - the thing they really want might be one expensive item so better to put some money towards it than buy them a fish slice.

Original poster
madmouse · 05/04/2012 17:22

Oh to clarify he's not remarrying the same person!!

OP posts:
Pascha · 05/04/2012 17:22

I agree with not setting up a gift list for just vouchers though. Just mentioning when asked is fine.

ShatnersBonnet · 05/04/2012 17:24

YABU to want them to make a list of things they don't want.

However, I do think wedding lists are naff, no matter what is on them.

TeWihara · 05/04/2012 17:26

It's a bit strange isn't it?

If they wanted vouchers they could have just said, we'd like vouchers for X or Y stores... instead you've had to go on line and type in a code just to read something they could have written on the invite. Confused

SillyBeardyDaddyman · 05/04/2012 17:27

By the time dw and I got married we already had a flat full of stuff and asked for vouchers. This meant we could buy a huge tv which was what we really wanted instead of getting loads of stuff we already had!

TeWihara · 05/04/2012 17:29

Ahem: OP is not saying they can't have a gift list, or that they can't ask for vouchers.

But that if they wanted only vouchers they didn't need a gift list.

...unless everything else on the list has already been bought so you can only see vouchers??

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 05/04/2012 17:30

YANBU. I don't mind people asking for vouchers if I ask them what they want, but to ask for them in the invitation? For a second marriage? Vile.

DPrince · 05/04/2012 17:31

If you set up a weddinglist your get extra. Debenhams (for example) give you 10% of the total spend in vouchers. So they will get extra rather than just saying 'vouchers for xyz'. Makes sense to me. I actually like wedding lists. Makes it easier for me pick a gift that the couple want.

Original poster
madmouse · 05/04/2012 17:32

Thanks TeWihara yes that's what I mean

The list opened yesterday so I doubt there's only vouchers left

OP posts:
SillyBeardyDaddyman · 05/04/2012 17:33

But are they all for the same place or have they asked for multiple types of vouchers? In that case, list required.

Floggingmolly · 05/04/2012 17:34

Naff is sending a wedding invitation complete with a gift list enclosed, IMO. Why not just sell tickets?

Original poster
madmouse · 05/04/2012 17:50

No there is only 1 item in the list, vouchers from this particular store

OP posts:
McFluffster · 05/04/2012 18:02

I'm getting married next year and saying nothing, no gift lists, no rhyming cards, no post box for cash envelopes, just nothing. It's a minefield. Someone will moan.

Sparklingbunnyears · 05/04/2012 19:54

DH and I had lived together for 5 years before we married, we didn't need anything so no wedding list. I always thought wedding lists were for people setting up home together and had nothing at all. Grin

I wouldn't want to buy vouchers for a wedding present.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 05/04/2012 20:03

McFluffster, by doing nothing you are doing the right thing. Some people will ask what you want, in which case you can tell them honestly. Some people will give you money, some will give you presents you love and some will give you presents you wish they hadn't. But at least you will know that everything you receive will be what your guests want you to have, and you may well end up surprised at how much money you are given. We were.

HappyMummyOfOne · 05/04/2012 20:06

YANBU, a gift list with an invite is tacky. A list when asked for is ok but one just asking for vouchers is awful, why not just charge an entry fee.

GreatBallsOfFluff · 05/04/2012 20:16

I used to work in a call centre taking orders over the phone for people wishing to purchase gifts from wedding gift lists for a well known department store. The problem with itemized lists was that sometimes the couple marrying would expect too much and people wishing to only spend £20 - £30 would end up just buying a saucepan or a sheet. Whilst that would be what the couple wanted, I would always hear the comment "that's a bit naff". With vouchers the couple can buy as many sheets and saucepans as they want whilst secretly pretending they used vouchers to buy their gorgeous crystal glasses and decanter ;-)

Also vouchers were automatically added to every gift list and if a couple had registered and hadn't chosen items, then a voucher only list would be automatically created.

RuleBritannia · 05/04/2012 20:23

The trouble with giving vouchers is that the recipients know how much you've spent on them.

Floggingmolly · 05/04/2012 20:30

Yes, that takes a bit of the mystique out of it, RuleBritanna!

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