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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get cross with dc for always asking for sweets,cakes,gum,chocolate spread etc.

50 replies

fidelma · 05/04/2012 09:28

DC are always asking for sweet stuff (they do get treats,perhaps too often)Yesterday they bought huge cakes while I was getting my hair cut and then also took a biscuit off their younger brother 10 mins later.
I am exhausted with this. I got very cross but in a calm way explained,again why these were not good choices.For health and weight,my dc are 12,10 and 2 younger boys.aibu?

OP posts:
mumblechum1 · 05/04/2012 09:43

Thing is, kids of 12 and 10 do tend to eat a lot; a 12 year old should really be having adult sized portions because they burn off so much and need extra food when they're growing.

I agree that they shouldn't be eating too much sweet stuff, but maybe they need more normal food than they're getting? My ds eats tons but isn't at all overweight for the reasons above.

Dustinthewind · 05/04/2012 09:44

If they are always asking, you need to look at your own responses to them and what is happening to reinforce them asking and expecting that you will give way.
You need to limit the sheer number of treats, link them to a specific time or event and say no and stick to it when you think they've had enough.
They bought huge cakes? Whose money did they use? What gave them the idea that taking a biscuit from someone else was acceptable?
Do you have crisps and biscuits and whatnot available freely at home?
It is exhausting, especially if it has been going on for years.

Dustinthewind · 05/04/2012 09:45

I have a 17 year old. Smile

katiesname · 05/04/2012 09:46

So say no?

I don't really get it?

Kids and teens will ask for sweet stuff, but you say no (most of the time) and fill them up on more substancial things. They are either hungry and making poor choices to fill themsleves up or they aren't hungry but are addicted to sugar.

Original poster
fidelma · 05/04/2012 09:51

They had been swimming (alot) I had healthy snacks in my bag but they didn't eat them and I gave in while I was getting my hair cut.I sent them off to get a drink, they then came back and asked for an ice cream, I gave in, they then bought huge cakes. And took their brothers biscuit!

I guess I need to be stronger and say NO eat what's in my bag.

OP posts:
Original poster
fidelma · 05/04/2012 09:53

They often don't want what I have in my bag,fruit,nuts etc.
They swim 4 times a week and are always starving. I ofen make sandwiches which they do eat. Looks like I need to get up earlier and make loads of sandwiches every day !

OP posts:
AFuckingKnackeredWoman · 05/04/2012 09:54

Ds1(9): can i have sweets?
Me: can you pay for them?
Ds1: no
Me: then no

Any whining will get an Hmm face until he stops.

supernannyisace · 05/04/2012 09:58

No point getting cross. But you can say no.

Dustinthewind · 05/04/2012 09:59

'Looks like I need to get up earlier and make loads of sandwiches every day'

No, you need to teach your older children the art of the triple decker multiple filling sandwich and let them make their own food.

supernannyisace · 05/04/2012 10:00

Grr.. I hadn't finished...

If anyone wants a 'treat' in this house - crisps, kit kat, coke they have to ask me (even DH ;) ).

I was a bit Shock at DS' friend who just helped himself to a glass of coke out of my fridge... Nice that he felt so at home, but ?

My DS eats loads - I let him fill up on toast - he can demolish 4 silces in between getting home from school and eating dinner an hour later.

AFuckingKnackeredWoman · 05/04/2012 10:00

Dust is right at their age if they are hungry they can go make some toast or something, you shouldn't have to do it for them.

ChippyMinton · 05/04/2012 10:04

Looks like I need to get up earlier and make loads of sandwiches every day

They are old enough to make their own sandwiches.

Get them a cookery book and let them make cakes and biscuits too.

HeartsJandJ · 05/04/2012 10:16

Had DD's friend round yesterday, both age 3. Her parents told me she was a fussy eater but bugger me, I made some cakes as a treat and she didn't eat the blooming cake just picked the buttercream icing out of the middle!

A jam sandwich rejected because it was brown bread not white sliced.

Result: she was frazzed, hungry and sugar-rushed by the time they collected her and I won't be in a hurry to have her round again.

Dustinthewind · 05/04/2012 10:19

Have her round, get her parent to make up a packed lunch for her. She may learn to be less fussy if what you are eating looks interesting and she can have a taste.
Bit sad to write off a potential friendship because she's a fussy eater.

Original poster
fidelma · 05/04/2012 23:45

Yes I agree they can make their own sandwiches.
Said no with conviction today.Everyone ate good meals and had a packet of crisps with their Grandma.
I don't want to give them an eatting complex either.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 05/04/2012 23:48

Suoernanny - your husband has to ask you!!???

WorraLiberty · 05/04/2012 23:48

I wouldn't get cross with them...they sound like any other children to me.

There are lots of things we have to say no to as parents

Over eating crap stuff is just one of those things.

WorraLiberty · 05/04/2012 23:53

Yes, why would your DH have to ask you for a snack? Shock

Mine always checks he's not eating something for the kid's packed lunches...but asking you for a snack??

workshy · 05/04/2012 23:53

they don't want what's in your bag?

this is how the conversation goes in my house...

DC 'I'm hungry, can I have sweets/crisps/biscuits/milkshake etc'
ME 'have some fruit or a yoghurt'
DC 'I don't want those'
Me 'well then you aren't hungry then and you can wait for tea'

oooo I'm harsh!

PullUpAPew · 05/04/2012 23:53

We ended up telling DS1 if he nagged he was less likely to get. It had got to the stage he was no fun to treat cos it just felt like giving in to demands all the time.

He now doesn't nag and we get to treat him or he can use his own money to buy reasonable amounts.

We don't have sweet stuff in though and that helps as nothing to nag about at home.

PullUpAPew · 05/04/2012 23:54

workshy a version of the same is often heard here too, and I remember my mum saying the same to me!

blackeyedsusan · 06/04/2012 08:14

it is just as bloody annoying to have a small boy whining round the superrmarket. ( i mean who the heck has aw cauliflower florets in theirr pocket on the off chance?)

giraffesCantDonateBoneMarrow · 06/04/2012 09:06

I find a lot of children constantly ask for food throughout the day. I try to limit it to breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner and then maybe a biscuit in evening before bed with milk.

The constatnt grazing throughout the day means by time get to meals they dont eat them. They say "I'm hungry" but they just mean, I am not full. They are not starving hungry as they had a large snack an hour ago

Proudnscary · 06/04/2012 09:07

God I know what you mean OP - drives me nuts. It's the 'I'm huuuuungry' and the constant wanting/expecting treats. I worry that I give in too much. Neither are overweight and are sporty but still I think they eat too much sugar and I need to get tougher.

YANBU

wimini · 06/04/2012 09:10

DC: I'm hungry
me: good, you'll have plenty of appetite for lunch/tea

mine get sweets every Saturday. They can make them last the week if they want, or not, if they want. They get free choice of what they have. Sweets don't come on other days of the week. There's no begging or asking.