To get cross with dc for always asking for sweets,cakes,gum,chocolate spread etc.

[fidelma]

DC are always asking for sweet stuff (they do get treats,perhaps too often)Yesterday they bought huge cakes while I was getting my hair cut and then also took a biscuit off their younger brother 10 mins later.
I am exhausted with this. I got very cross but in a calm way explained,again why these were not good choices.For health and weight,my dc are 12,10 and 2 younger boys.aibu?

wimini that is what I say "thats good you will eat all your dinner up tonight then"

DD 6 in May ... eats very well .... Big dinners etc but always looking for treats. Gets a treat after dinner, would never look for it before ... have few treats in the house as she would spend the day looking for them . Generally we are down to 2/3 treats a day but you have to be strict ....

My dd is a skinny little thing but is constantly hungry and seems obsessed with junk food these days.She has just started to earn some pocket money and when she gets it wants to spend it all on crap eg.A box of lindit chocs or a sweet pretzle in town.
I have lost count of the number of times she has left her main meal before asking for "pudding"I hate stopping it cos i worry she is hungry but I do now.I also try to make sure she is really hungry before her meal and then she does eat lots so less inclined to be snacky later.
I alaso notice that if i offer her a treat in the shop she will try to get as much as possible such as asking for two bars of chocolate.
Greedy mare.

Wimini. - how old are your children and how can you stick to that in this day and age of plenty and crap being thrown at you all the time. I don't think you are wrong or anything, sort of admire your staying power and would love to do the same but the kids would divorce me. Saw a article the other day of little kids during the war. Their was a pic of them sitting enjoying a corrot on a stick as if it was an ice lolly!

Just make sure they're getting lots of good saturated fats. Mine were always nagging for sugar, but simple things like putting butter on their veg has stopped it. Their bodies do need a lot of energy, but getting it from sugar will be cause long term problems.

'Wimini. - how old are your children and how can you stick to that in this day and age of plenty and crap being thrown at you all the time'

This isn't meant to sound smug, I did it because I get cross when nagged and I wanted to lay down rules that would just be part of how things went in our family. So they became embedded and normal.
I kept no snacks in the house. No crisps, cakes, fizzy pop, icecream...
We had one treat if we were out somewhere, but once we'd had an icecream or a cake that was it. Their sweets day was Friday after school, to start the weekend.
They are both excellent bakers, DD makes amazing brownies and DS loves crumbles.
I never bought stuff when nagged. Ever.
They didn't whinge and mither, not with me, OH, grandparents and aunties. The occasional hopeful request which may or may not have resulted in a treat, but no whining.
When they hit college, they started to come home with snacks and sweets, but not excessive and not in multipacks. They both seem to get the idea that a treat is exactly that and not a replacement for proper meals.

workshy Me too!

Now they are 11 and 12 they can obviously go and buy whatever crap they want, but they seem to do this in moderation and it doesn't affect their appetite at meal times.

So being mean when they were little may have taught them that sweets, etc are treats, but not fuel to fill them up.

Exactly, Dust

X post Tilly, I think it worked like that with mine.

And just as an aside, they didn't get takeaways either, macD and KFC and pizza.
The upshot was that when they hit college, they didn't live on takeouts because the textures and flavours were bland and pulpy and too greasy.
DS can cope with deep pan pizza, but he prefers to make his own.

You give in too easily. Keep saying no; they won't starve; and if they're hungry they'll eat the good stuff.

Urgh, the constant demands for sweets, treats, pizza, coke, chicken nuggets, creeping up in the last couple of years !

I now restrict treats to homemade or bought cakes at the weekend, and sweets on a Friday after school and thats the deal; the rest of the time its "no". I have explained to son we are just eating more healthily now, and given reasons, and my slo-cooker is getting alot of use and he is eating better as a result ...

BTW, I do think raisins and fruit are not really substantial offerings after a swim, myself.

I don't remember snacking as a child as much as some children do today. My parents made me wait to eat a main meal. If I'd eaten well then I was allowed pudding. Of course I was alllowed crisps and sweets but not every day and usually on on the weekend. My friends' parents were the same.

My DD is only 3 but I am always surprised at how many snacks her friends' parents pack with them just to go to the park. They don't eat well at their main meal and it's no wonder.

I don't mind DD having chocolate etc as a rare, special treat or with her grandma or at parties or playdates but because she doesn't snack much she eats very well at meal times. If she tries it on and asks for treats before finishing her meal or too close to a meal I jist say no.

She never starves.

Guess I see anything sweetish as treats though, like biscuits, cakes, puddings etc. So for me if your kids are eating cake at home that's sort of similar.

I actually agree with workshy I always say yes to DS requests for sweets etc, he becomes a little stuck when he doesn't have money to pay for it!

My DS is 7yo and seems to be able to eat ^my^ body weight in food. (he's a twig!) I take healthy and unhealthy snacks out (carbs, sugary, 5 a day) and he can chose what he has but if he eats all sugar etc then all thats left is whats left.

Re sandwiches: Do you have the room to make a bunch of sandwiches, rolls, pittas and freeze them? I do this and take some out each morning, and also keeps tubs of raw fruit/ veg cut up.

I do think some children just need to eat more than others, some are more active than others and they need to eat what they need - but if you have snacks then I thinks it's eat them if your hungry or your not that hungry!

If you make your intentions clear re. a plan (a fair plan, its OK for children to have treats sometimes) I reckon all the nagging will tail off.

Dcs always had chocolate on a Friday in our house.
Never had sweets particularly.
They are 15 and 13 now and don't spend allowance on sweets/chocolate. Pudding is fruit/yogurt during the week.....they are usually hungry after school so have toast/weetabix something like that.
Crisps are for weekends, and I don't buy biscuits/cakes.

Don't get the "treat every day" thing.

When my dad grew up in the 1920s, the 5 children shared a packet of fruit pastilles.

I read somewhere that thirst can be mistaken for hunger so, for example, children swimming or playing sports or eating sugary foods might be v thirsty rather than just hungry.

Don't keep treats in the house and don't give them money. Pack them off with healthy snacks

Thanks everyone. I have got stronger on this as a result of your comments.We have just all done a 5 mile walk (even the 2 1/2 year old mananged most of it !) They had a bag of crisps half way round and water.When we got home they had a homemade bean,tomato stew and sausages,they then had a small piece of chocolate cake. I will not let them have anything but fruit until tea time.

I have been giving them treats every day, so after the Easter maddness I will stop that.

They all do alot of fitness so I will need to make sure I have plenty healthy snacks.

What would you offer your dc if they had been swimming for 1 1/2 hours ? (serious training) Your ideas would be greatly appreciated.

I stopped buying treat-like food in the end because it put paid to the grazing.

ds2 in particular had started this habit of wandering into the kitchen, throwing open the fridge door and gazing, like a child possessed at the contents (while everything inside unhelpfully reached room temperature) before pottering over to the kitchen cupboard and begging for a biscuit or a bag of crisps. Always on the grounds that "there's no food in this house". What he actually meant was "there's no food in this house that I can scoff right now this very second "

So sweets were restricted to Saturdays and anyone who claimed to be hungry could help themselves to fruit. If we were out I was happy to pay for one treat - ice cream or can of pop, say - and further nagging got you precisely nowhere. Not that this was as easy in principle as it might sound.

After swimming I tended to do toast when they got home. It filled them up without the sugar rush.

i treat my kids same way as i would expect to treat myself

if i am hungry, i dont always wait until mealtime, i have a snack

sometimes i fancy something sweet, not healthy so i have it.

i dont expect kids are any different. why make a battlefield out of food, saying no continually, you cant have it, ration it to miniscule portions, making it seem unobtainable so therefore more desirable

sometimes you just fancy something, whats wrong with that every so often

Hi am trying to walk a difficult line with my DSD. She arrives, and the first thing is "what's for tea?" followed by "when is tea?" followed by "can I have a biscuit?"..it goes on. She ate her tea tonight (home made spaghetti bol with garlic bread then low fat yog) and now I can hear her making popcorn, she tucked into some of mine and DH's nan bread (actually she ate all of it). Her brother comes to the house starving. They are 11 and 14. DSD is overweight (she is 14) and obsessed by food, it's complex, I feel.

Hard to say but I dont think they get enough variety to eat at home and their diets are very controlled and all this is a reaction to it. DSD is overweight as she spends her pocket money on the way to school on treats and has a packed lunch then buys chips, she is also a middle child, and I feel she is a bit excluded at home. At home it is plain chicken with rice, things like that, VV healthy, water to drink, very few treats and they are strictly rationed- mum is a health nut (drinks protein shakes does a DOUBLE spin class three times a week and is no carb-ing).

YANBU and I am sure it is wearing. It is for me.

In think the point made by joanna is spot on. I hope that in my cack handed way I am trying to make them into OK adults and protien shakes and spinning is not normal nor is a ban on sugar and nowt but plain chicken and rice and banning things like tomato ketchup (unless allergic). Treats are part of our mentality. I think you have to pick your battles and I am not keen as a new parent (of 11 14 and 16 YO) to make that over food. I think especially that it is good that kids see you enjoying and having a healthy relationship with food.

Having said that, I have no experience of toddlers [buconfused]