... I don't want to fall out with my pil?
My pil are lovely people and they adore their grandchildren (we have 2 ds's and one on the way). However, they smoke. Fil is open about it and mil hides it but we all know.
We have had words about the smoking several times since the dc came along. They generally leave the room to smoke but just dot make enough of an effort. Mainly its fil as mil tends to do it when we're not there. There's two issues really, the first is fil doesn't go far enough away to smoke so the smoke still drifts through. For eg he will go in to the kit hen which is out of the lounge and through the dining room. So two rooms away, no doors closed in between, no open windows. Sometimes he does it in the downstairs loo, just in the dining room (so the next room). Occasionally he goes out the back door, still no good as he stands near the door with it open and the smoke just drifts back in.
On occasion he has actually lit his fag whilst we were in the dining room with the children and he was stood in the kitchen, so effectively the same room as joined by open double doors. On these occasions we have suddenly realised (no warning given) and angrily taken the children in to the lounge and got their coats on to go. Dh has then had a quick rant at his mother about fils disgusting behaviour and we've left. This has happened several times as it never seems to sink in.. Fil will also light up on his way out and stand in the hall with lit fag saying bye etc whilst smoke drifts in to the lounge where we are.
The second problem is that the house is usually stinking of fag smoke when we visit. We always call before hand when we go because we don't want them to be smoking when we arrive. So they always have warning we are about to turn up. Regardless of this, 9 times out of 10 they just spray a ridiculous amount of air freshner as they believe it 'kills the toxins'. This means when we arrive it absolutely reeks of a heady mix offal smoke and air freshner which makes me feel really ill and terrible that the kids and my unborn baby are being subjected to this. If they don't spray anything (like this evening) it just reeks of smoke. After being there for half an hour tonight I had a headache and felt sick and had to leave. Sometimes my dh opens the window when we're there to let some fresh air in, they never get why he has done this and mil always asks him to close it as she's 'cold'. Oh well that's ok then, better for your grandchildren to breathe in poisonous fumes than you be a bit chilly.
That's the other thing I don't understand, the fact we ring before we go there gives them an ideal opertunity to air the room and open the windows themselves but they never do. They obviously just think the smoke disappears after they smoke and no need to do anything?!
They know by now we don't like smoking and certainly don't want the kids passive smoking but still it just doesn't seem to register they're not doing enough to protect our dc from it 
I'm so sick of this, we don't want to fall out with them over it as the dc love visiting on a regular basis. I just want them to 'get' how harmful it is.