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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

scared about first MW visit.

34 replies

Hoebag · 04/04/2012 12:53

I am overweight and I've heard their really coming down on overweight people now.
I don't mind being told the facts of course etc and I know it will be an issue.,but I'm told its essentially a witchhunt now.
I'm just terrified about my appointment in a few days.

can anyone tell me what theres was like?

just to ease my nerves?

AIBU to be scared.

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 04/04/2012 12:56

I'm sure you'll be fine! I heard my baby's heartbeat on the first visit - it was magical!!

nobutyeahbut · 04/04/2012 12:58

A midwifes job is to support you, not stress out out or make you feel bad.

Try not to worry am sure it won't be as bad as you imagine.

Seona1973 · 04/04/2012 12:59

I was very overweight with both of mine. I was just advised not to put on much weight (if any) while pregnant and to watch what I was eating i.e. dont eat for two! I was told this about weight gain:

if starting off overweight - max 1 stone weight gain
if normal weight - 2 stone weight gain
if underweight - 3 stone weight gain

There isnt much you can do about it now except watch what you are eating anf not too eat too much junk

Calamityboo · 04/04/2012 13:00

They may mention it, I was and still am over weight when I had ds, they did mention it, but my mw was lovely and didn't go on about it too much, I didn't feel that they went over the top with it, they may suggest healthy eating while pg. Good luck, and congratulations!

CarpeJugulum · 04/04/2012 13:00

Well I was overweight and my MW was fine.

If you're that worried, say something like you were on a keep fit kick, but events have overtaken you

Or go in eating a Greggs sausage roll, swigging a fruit shoot, and wearing the MNet scarf. She won't dare say anything then for fear of ending up in AIBU

Original poster

Hoebag · 04/04/2012 13:00

Phew! how long ago was urs Seona?

I m still scared lol

OP posts:

DeathCab · 04/04/2012 13:01

My midwife didn't actually say too much about my weight (BMI 30). The consultant however was a pain, she sent me for a diabetes test which came back normal but she wasn't convinced so sent me for another one. She was constantly telling me i had to lose weight.

But as i said, my midwives were brilliant, wasn't really mentioned.

jenfraggle · 04/04/2012 13:03

I'm a size 20 and currently 33 weeks pregnant. I was advised to be careful not to put on much weight but that was all. I had to have a diabetes test at 28 weeks but not sure if I would have needed that if I didn't have it in the family. Weight wise, I'm only 5lb heavier now than when I fell pregnant so it isn't a given that you will get really huge and I haven't been actively trying to keep my weight down. The bad morning sickness for 9 weeks helped by shifting half a stone though :o

piprabbit · 04/04/2012 13:03

If she is rude you can ask her to leave. However, I doubt she will do more than perhaps mention the risks involved and maybe give you some ideas on how to control your weight gain while pregnant.

It's not a witchhunt FFS, what can she actually do?

york67 · 04/04/2012 13:08

I was worried too. Midwife was ok. I did however, feel really upset by NHS leaflet given. Ok, tell me how to limit weight gain etc. However, the rest of the leaflet really freaked me out. Telling me about all the possible unhappy outcomes being obese can contribute to.
It wasn't as if the pregnancy was even planned.

SootySweepandSue · 04/04/2012 13:08

I am actually going to ask my MW for proper advice on food this time. After (not before...) DC1 I was properly obese and losing the weight was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm terrified the same thing happens again. I want real practical advice like meals plans or something. I just don't want to be told to 'eat healthy and exercise' that means nothing to me after being on numerous diets for 18 months. I'm actually wondering if low carb is safe when pregnant.

The MW are not badgering you they are trying to ensure things are as easy as possible for you and baby.

Seona1973 · 04/04/2012 13:08

ds is 5 and dd is 8 so its been a while since I was pregnant (still overweight though!)

york67 · 04/04/2012 13:09

I would say low carbs isn't a good idea as your body could produce ketones. Not an expert though.

piprabbit · 04/04/2012 13:18

I thought the advice was not to diet during pregnancy, but to try and eat healthily (more fruit and veg, less high fat/sugar junk). I ate more healthily while pregnant and only put on half a stone - so I must have lost body weight, although it was hidden by all the baby and fluid I was lugging around.

OTTMummA · 04/04/2012 13:19

I have a bmi of 41, all they said was try not to gain too much extra weight, i haven't stepped on the scales at all, and have had a number of appts since booking in, and not one mention of it.

I had GD in my last pregnancy, but managed to control it with low gi diet, and ds weighed an average 7lbs9oz, we both ended the pregnancy healthy and happy.
I had to have a GD test at 16 weeks this time, which was clear, and then will have another at 28 weeks (am 24 weeks now), but have been watching my food a bit better than last time, so far i have put on 4 lbs, im happy with that, and am not going to stress out about it, that would be worse for me and the baby.
One tip i have, is before a meal or when you feel hungry, have a glass of water/squash, it helps me to not overeat, i also go out once a week and have a nice meal, and enjoy it without guilt.

Sandalwood · 04/04/2012 13:22

My midwife is more overweight than me, so perhaps that helped.
But where I am it's just protocol to put women in for that glucose tolerance test if your BMI is 30 or above.
Mine's 30. I had the test. Nothing else was said really.

Hersetta · 04/04/2012 13:37

I am very overweight and my midwife never once mentioned my weight at any appointment during both of my pregnancies which were both spectactularly uneventful . Am very proud that from my booking in appointment at 13 weeks to the day before I delivered my son (by ELCS at 39+4) i managed to lose 4.5kgs!

please don't stress about it - your MW may be lovely!

OTTMummA · 04/04/2012 13:40

Wow, Hersetta, well done, how did you manage that?

AlanMoore · 04/04/2012 13:57

It will depend on the protocols they work to in your area - where I am, if you are in the "overweight" category it won't make any difference, everyone with a BMI between 18 and 29 is treated the same and only weighed once at the booking appointment.

Under 18 or over 30 means a consultant referral and BMI of 30+ generally means routine GTT but that's all.

The midwife may talk to you about your weight and she might not, but she ought to be kind and supportive and if she isn't you can ask to see somebody else. Slimming World is approved by the Royal College of Midwives and you can eat plenty of nice things on their plan, if you or your partner like cooking I would definitely recommend it.

Whatever your starting weight is pregnancy can be difficult to negotiate whilst eating healthily, I felt so sick in both of mine that I couldn't face "proper" food til six months, now in this pg I get heartburn if I eat more than a child's portion. I don't think I weigh any less this time though I live in hope!

jenfraggle · 04/04/2012 14:05

Another thing, I was weighed at the booking appointment and the 12 week scan but that's all and my BMI is over 30.

Original poster

Hoebag · 04/04/2012 15:49

I hope I have a decent midwife, I'm a bit less worried now, I've heard the leaflet is a bit harsh but I suppose it has to be somewhat.

I can't believe you got sent for another test I would have refused DeathCab

OP posts:

Original poster

Hoebag · 04/04/2012 15:49

I darent think what my BMI is now,

OP posts:

Debs3013 · 04/04/2012 15:59

My weight wasn't mentioned at my first MW appt - she asked what I weighed (v. overweight) but made no comment about it.
I've got the 16 week one tomorrow so I'll let you know if she says anything about how much weight I've put on - about 1/2 stone which I don't think is too horrendous (hopeful emoticon!)
Oh there was one comment on my scan report - something along the lines of obscured view due to high BMI (surprised they could see anything really!)

mejon · 04/04/2012 16:01

My BMI was 32/33 I think when I was pg with DD2 in 2010. It was never mentioned. I was under consultant care anyway because of my age and as I had existing fibroids but the weight was never an issue. I was never offered a GD test either and had no reason to be concerned about it. Big mother doesn't necessarily mean big baby. Mine were 6lb 10oz and 7lb 2oz at 1 week and nearly 2 weeks 'overdue'. Good luck with your visit.

Original poster

Hoebag · 04/04/2012 17:05

thanks mejon

OP posts:

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