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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why people are so ill informed about chicken pox?

173 replies

knackeredmother · 03/04/2012 14:00

I have encountered 2 people in the last 2 days who have allowed their infectious chicken pox children to mix with others.
My ds has respiratory problems and is frequently on steroids so needs to avoid contact. We are just waiting for him to be off steroids for a few weeks so he can be vaccinated (on hospital advice). I am also a health professional so have seen first hand the devastating effects the pox can have on cancer patients and pregnant women for example.
I realise therefore that I am more sensitive than most about this topic.
However, last week a new neighbour invited my ds to play , when I picked him up I saw her dd was covered with weeping ( not healed) chicken pox sores. When I asked her if her dd had chicken pox she just replied 'oh has he not had it?'. I explained about his immune system being suppressed with steroids but she did not seem to get it.
Today I have just met another mother in a soft play with her...yes you've guessed it.....chicken pox laden ds. Again not healed over, spots came out yesterday.
This mum is intelligent and lovely and I think I may have just spoiled a potential friendship with my little rant about the risks. She genuinely did not realise and said she thought as chickenpox was so common that people didn't really bother keeping them inside anymore.
So, AIBU to think the majority of people are ignorant of the quarantine advice re chicken pox and if so WHY is this?
Oh and expect a post from me in a week or so with a ds hospitalised with varicella pneumonia (pessimist, me? Never!)

OP posts:
anewyear · 03/04/2012 15:45

Sorry cat stepped on key board,
so I was told by my friend.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 03/04/2012 15:45

YANBU.

My doctor told me that there are two big myths about chicken pox.

  1. You can't catch it twice.
  2. It's only contagious before the spots come out.

He told me this because I had it for the second time and said "I thought this was impossible."

It is possible to catch it more than once and it is contagious while the spots are weepy or fluid filled.

I think you are right OP, many people don't know those things and don't take the illness as seriously as they should.

bumbleymummy · 03/04/2012 15:51

I think the difficulty is that most children don't really feel that poorly with chickenpox. Both my DSs were running around and playing as usual with no fever. With things like scarlet fever and flu, the child is sick so of course you aren't going to take them out somewhere. The other problem is that they are infectious before the spots come out as well so people think 'oh well, they're going to come into contact with it/have already come into contact with it anyway' or 'most people are already immune' which is actually true but infecting other people shouldn't really be your decision.

Coconutty · 03/04/2012 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dylsmimi · 03/04/2012 16:09

DS has just recovered from chicken pox i was so careful about keeping him in the house and away from anywhere - thank goodness for nice weather and a small garden last week!
asked nursery to check him before i would take him in to see they were 100% happy but my MIL said 'they should let them go in anyway straight away as they are not poorly as all kids will get it anyway'???? Shock
calmly explained the problems but she wasn't convinced!

GladysLeap · 03/04/2012 16:38

My aunt's BF died of chicken pox, at the age of 35.

It is hugely irresponsible to take children out unless the spots have scabbed. My youngest caught CP from her nursery and was one of the last to catch it, but I still kept her off until she was better.

ballroomblitz · 03/04/2012 16:52

There is cp going around my ds class atm so I've no doubt he will probably catch it. It took a week and a half after the first break-out before ds teacher took me to the side to tell me as she knows I'm pregnant. Luckily I know I've had it twice so the chances are on my side.

I wouldn't be ill-informed regarding cp as I caught it a second time at age 12 and ended up very ill in hospital. However I didn't know about the link between it and steroids. Bit worried now as ds is on steroids a lot for respiratory problems. His latest being a month and a bit ago when he was hospitalised.

CrockoDuck · 03/04/2012 16:55

Knackeredmother Can I ask your very quick advice? (Sorry to hijack) My 15yo DS has not had chicken pox yet. Should I get him vaccinated? Understand it's about £70 privately. Keep meaning to ask Dr, but neither of us ever need to go!

KinkyDorito · 03/04/2012 16:59

It scares me how clueless people are.

DD has cancer; DS recently caught chicken pox. Luckily, she still has the antibodies from when she had them. Some patients are not so lucky. At least, it's an injection and possible stay in hospital for IV antibiotics as it can be fatal to the immune-suppressed. Shingles is also rife around us at the moment, which also requires super-strong antibiotics.

I kept DS indoors until I was certain every last one had scabbed over, as I did not want to be responsible for spreading it to other vulnerable people.

Flightty · 03/04/2012 17:04

We were careful, with both of my children. They both had it quite badly with a lot of fever and feeling miserable.

But once they felt a bit better I still kept them in.

Ds1 seems to be having a much longer version of it than ds2 did, which is frustrating particularly with it being the holidays, but we are going only to places where he will be outdoors and not near to anyone.

Bunbaker · 03/04/2012 17:07

"because for the vast majority chickenpox is a mild disease its best to catch and get out of the way in early childhood. Your situation is pretty unusual (and I do sympthise as dd was in hospital on injected steroids for 12 weeks and there was a chickenpox child in the next cubicle) but it is unusual"

Nonetheless you can't assume that everybody has had chicken pox and is immune to it. I consider it supremely selfish to deliberately put strangers at risk of chicken pox because you simply don't know if they have any health issues or are in the early stages of pregnancy. You also don't know whether it might cause a family to cancel their holiday because no airline will let anyone on a plane with full blown chicken pox. Being housebound is not the end of the world. With the availability of online supermarket shopping you don't need to leave the house for anything other than to take other siblings to school.

DD has had chicken pox twice, the first time it was so mild she didn't build up immunity, the second time she was pretty ill with it and was too unwell to leave the house anyway.

EmmaCate · 03/04/2012 17:16

YANBU to wonder all you like about it.

I don't know much about it to be honest; I would say the advent of chicken-pox parties has helped to promote the idea that most people are happy for their children to get it out of the way. The idea of a party also makes light of the illness.

notcitrus · 03/04/2012 17:19

Possibly because the advice 30 years ago was not to worry about it as all children should get it eventually. I know I got dragged to endless chicken pox parties on medical advice, and told off for being 'standoffish' when I never went down with it (ditto measles and mumps and German measles...)

As luck would have it, I got it age 16 on holiday in New York! And finally got the MMR to as never had the others either.

There just isn't much education on the subject, especially as you're told not to go to the GP when your kids get it, so they can't tell you what not to do. And if you remember your childhood then you don't know what you don't know!
YANBU, but people need to learn up-to-date info about cp from somewhere and looks like it'll have to be you.

KalSkirata · 03/04/2012 17:20

how far can you expect people to change their lives to deal with unusual cases though. DD can die from a cold. I dont expect people to stay in with colds.

And for the vast majority chickenpox is a mild illness. Like a cold.

ivykaty44 · 03/04/2012 17:21

I had chicken pox when pg with dd1 - I was 16 weeks and the gp couldn't tell me if having the chicken pox would have any effect on my unborn child.

UANBU

Sirzy · 03/04/2012 17:22

Kal surely a few days in the house isnt to much to ask to stop someone else getting seriously ill? Complications are more likely with chicken pox than a cold.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 03/04/2012 17:23

My DH didn't get chicken pox until he was in his 20's, and he caught it from me during my second bout of it and I got it from my brothers two children, who were dragged everywhere under the banner of "everyone's had it and the spots are out now so it's okay."

There was no particular reason for him to have avoided it for so long, he just never caught it until then. It made him very ill and very miserable

bumbleymummy · 03/04/2012 17:29

CP is far worse for adults than children - one of the reasons why people want their children to get it out of the way.

FriskyMare · 03/04/2012 17:33

DD caught cp from her younger brother when she was 4 at nursery and undergoing treatment for leukaemia. It meant a miserable 2 week stay in hospital for us, practically in isolation.
CP can be a dangerous illness - I wish people would take it more seriously.
(DS caught it from one of dd's friends at her birthday party :( )

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/04/2012 17:40

A cold won't affect a pregnant woman though, CP might. Poor colleague of mine was exposed in both her pregnancies. She had the delight of having a whole team standing by in case her baby had issues as a result. Imagine how worried she was.

mummytime · 03/04/2012 17:47

I didn't catch it as a child, despite lots of opportunities. I caught it when pregnant, the biggest worry was that I would go into labour as I was in the third trimester.
DH's Mum died from it, friend's children have been hospitalised, and we have more than one immune suppressed child at DCs school. So I'm very pleased most people I meet take it more seriously.

MeanMom · 03/04/2012 17:57

There are chickenpox parties? Shock

Personally if DD gets anything she hadnt had before I look it up on NHS website and take the advice. DD being 13 had CP quite badly and had to have antibiotics (which GP prescribed without seeing her to avoid spreading round surgery)
Hope your little one is OK ,knackered

Ploom · 03/04/2012 18:09

A friend (a nurse!!) asked me last week if I thought it'd be ok for her to take her dd who had CP, with her to have breakfast in a cafe. Eh........ No! She had planned to just stay away from any pregnant women. She's got 4 dc - has she forgotten that not all pregnant women are showing!

Really is it so difficult to keep dc at home for 5 days! Makes me Angry.

Hecubasdaughter · 03/04/2012 18:17

It stuns me too, I have seen someone in ITU in a coma with CP. I know of a baby born with it. He survived but developed shingles at 9months as a result of having it so young. Who would want a baby to be in so much pain.

Although I don't like the idea of CP parties personally, I do't view them as the same as taking your CP child out. You chose if you are going to attend a CP party or not but f you take a CP child out you are imposing the risk on others. I believe you only have the right to make decisons about your own health or that of your DC if they are too young.

DD1 started to feel better once the spots started and was bouncing off the walls with the amount of energy she had but you have to stay in IMO and it irritates me the number of people who don't.

IME it is not that unusual for an individual to be on medication that supresses their immune system and therefore are at increased risk of CP.

Hecubasdaughter · 03/04/2012 18:19

She's a nurse and she said that! bloody hell! Lots of pregnant woman don't really show til after 20 weeks especially if they chose their clothing carefully.