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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not take dd to this party?

33 replies

stargazer83 · 02/04/2012 18:38

Dd was asked in the playground last week if she could attend a party on x date, both children looked to me and said please, please, please. As we had no plans and was during the holiday I agreed however I have just found out the details. The party is being held a 2 hour bus ride away and will last for one hour before we do the 2 hour journey home. Parents are not allowed to stay and its an activity dd does not like.

If it makes a difference dd was only invited after the first choice children sent their regrets. So can I cancel in clear conscience or should I suck it up and make the most of q bad situation?

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 02/04/2012 18:39

I would ask to stay

everlong · 02/04/2012 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pandemoniaa · 02/04/2012 18:41

Since you didn't have the details at the time of acceptance - in other words, not a formal invitation - it wouldn't be unreasonable to decline now.

MissMogwi · 02/04/2012 18:43

YWNBU to decline. Four hours travel for an hours party?! I think not.

Flibbertyjibbet · 02/04/2012 18:46

I'd cancel.

What kind of party is it that is so far from home and parents aren't allowed to stay!

I'd just say that you didn't realise wha activity it was when DD was asked if she could go, and that as she doesn't like it you'll have to decline.

Probably only got asked on the 2nd round of invites cause the first round though it was too far to go too!

alarkaspree · 02/04/2012 18:49

Does she still want to go now that she knows what the activity is? If so then I might take her. If not then don't, it's perfectly reasonable to back out since you didn't have full information at the time of the invitation.

CalamityLame · 02/04/2012 18:49

YANBU, don't go. But tell them tonight, rather than at V short notice. Then do something lovely with your DD that she will enjoy, instead.

Choufleur · 02/04/2012 19:05

What are they doing that they have to travel for 2 hours to get to?

Zippylovesgeorge · 02/04/2012 19:12

I'd cancel - 4 hours travel for one hour of activity that your child doesn't like - a no brainer really.

Instead I'd offer a day of doing something(s) that your daughter would enjoy - with possibly some treat food thrown in - far nicer.

GavisconJunkie · 02/04/2012 19:17

I NEED to know what the activity is. Sounds crazy, YANBU

WhereYouLeftIt · 02/04/2012 19:40

Absolutely, I would cancel. Two hours away? Utter madness!!

everlong · 02/04/2012 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ragged · 02/04/2012 19:44

I suspect it's a half hour drive but 2 hours by bus :(.
I'd cancel.

NatashaBee · 02/04/2012 19:44

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snice · 02/04/2012 19:47

I'm guessing some sort of climbing/Go Ape type thing?

GavisconJunkie · 02/04/2012 19:48

Come on OP, come back and enlighten us!

Coconutty · 02/04/2012 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
stargazer83 · 02/04/2012 21:21

Sorry I'm here. Even driving its an hour away, I know some of the other parents pulled out for that reason and they drive. I asked about sitting quietly in a corner or paying my own entrance fee but was told it wasn't possible.

I don't want to name the activity but its not that special and the could do the same activity 10 mins drive/40 mins bus ride away. And I do mean exactly the same.

Surprised to see people think ianbu I really thought I would be told to suck it up. The party's not till next week so I will call and say I can't make it but ask to meet up in the park or something to give her her gift.

OP posts:
Eglu · 02/04/2012 21:29

I would say it is not going to be possible for you to get there.

I'm not surprised people have pulled out. Even if people drive they still have to find something to do for an hour as they are not allowed to stay at the venue.

BackforGood · 02/04/2012 21:33

I wouldn't worry about meeting up and a present tbh. I'd just phone and say you hadn't realised how far away it was and how much of the day it would take up, when you'd agreed, you'd assumed it was nearby, but you can't commit the time it will take. Sorry. Full stop.

everlong · 02/04/2012 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pictish · 02/04/2012 21:35

Oh I would not go!
Call up, apologise and cancel.

exoticfruits · 02/04/2012 21:40

It is too much to expect-if they wanted that they should have had a couple of friends and collected from the home and returned to home.

GavisconJunkie · 02/04/2012 21:46

YANBU how ridiculous are they being!?

Original poster
stargazer83 · 02/04/2012 21:49

I will meet and give the child her present because I have already bought it plus I feel sorry for her as when I was showing around this morning hoping for a lift at least 8 people have cancelled because of the distance.

I don't know why they chose the place further away but I am blessed with the bluntness to ask once I see them :o

OP posts: