AIBU to move without visiting first

[slowestwildebeast]

I'm thinking of moving countries/halfway across the world to be with my dp, I have told people this and most ask how I liked the country when I visited. When I tell them I've never visited I get face. I don't see the problem but most people think I've lost my mind to just uproot and go without even a visit. AIBU to just go and say sod it?

Thanks wheresthepocorn, I'm hoping it will be ok. :)

We moved to Singapore in 1997, so the internet was only in its infancy, never having been and stayed 14 years. Moved to Australia (Perth) at the start of 2011 after loads of visits and research and love it.

Hope you have a great time. Whereabouts in Oz are you going?

It'll be fine OP, go.

My Grandad moved to LA in the 70's and there was no internet to check out what it was like first and the flight used to take ages.

I moved to Wolverhampton to be with DH (not somewhere I had been to before). DH and I moved to Melbourne from the UK (having been to loads of other parts of Australia but not there). We might soon be moving to KSA (never been).

I worked with a lady who moved with her DH and 1 year old to Sydney, she could not afford a trip over there to see it first but as far as I know she stayed there.

If you don't try you will always wonder, and you can get a flight back it's no biggy.

We're thinking about this. No way in hell we can afford to go on holiday to Abu Dhabi, Malaysia, Thailand, New Zealand or Oz with 3 kids so the only way for us to know is to go there.

Our view is we could play it safe all our lives, maybe afford to go to France once in a while and generally camp around the UK or we can seize the day and do something bold.

I have a career that will only be helped by the move and we can come back after a year or so if it doesn't work out. We feel we owe it to the kids to actually see the world.

We'd prefer to do what Peter Duncan did with his kids but we don't have the BBC behind us and second to that would be working Tefl around the world or picking grapes (as if we could ever get the money for plane tickets together we'd have no extra cash on top). By going there to have a proper job that will boost my career we're committing big time but also will have the chance to explore further a-field whilst there.

But we have only the internet to tell us what it will be like.

It is terrifying and as much as I want this for us (one life to live and all that) part of me really hopes I get the great Assistant Head job just down the road so that we don't even need to move to Cornwall... but that is my borderline ASD worrying (watching the Big Bang Theory is an eye opener... I have too much Sheldon Cooper in me).

Do it! Be brave. One life to live. Have an open return ticket though. Don't burn all your bridges. Go for it! Live Life!

Do it! I escaped the NHS to go to Australia and would NEVER go back. Have a think about WHERE in Australia as that makes a massive difference but don't for a moment worry about coming over. Better pay, better conditions, better quality of life, just better! A wonderful place to bring up kids too- lots of outdoors stuff, beaches, sport as a way of life etc. I had a bit of a freak out about the animals and in fact have seen nothing scary at all.

I did visit here first but only briefly and I think my mind was made up even before that and it just confirmed my choice. The only thing I would say is that I have lived in lots of different places so don't have a firm "home" so moving here was no different to me to moving for example to Manchester! I have not had any homesickness issues etc so have been lucky

No decision has to be final. If you are here for a year and hate it then move back. Not a problem if there are no kids or if you have them and they are teeny. I agree that if you don't do it you will always wonder and regret it. ALso if you are a doctor (not sure but guessing!) then the door will be closing soon here with lots of new Australian medical graduates so I would get cracking now rather than putting it off!

Do it. Really. And if you don't like one city in Australia then try another!

Good luck

A no brainer! If you are even thinking about it means that you are the kind of person who would thrive on the challenges of a different culture etc.

I have done it twice. Once on my own and then I followed my then DP even further afield. 8 years later we are still going strong, and I am now living in country number 6!

I feel really lucky to have had the opportunity of living in such different places. All of the moves have either been spur of the moment decisions or I have never had the opportunity to visit before hand. Except this last one. We visited and liked it very much and are thrilled to be here!

Go fo it, and good luck!

We moved to Aus 15 years ago without visiting first, and nobody even remarked upon it being unwise.
Is there any possibility that your family & friends are indirectly expressing doubts about your relationship, rather than about the move itself?

I moved to Vancouver, Canada 7 years ago with DH and DS under 2 with just a couple of suitcases and no prior visit. Best thing we ever did. We could not afford to visit first.

I say go for it! You only live once.

You have to take chances in life, always playing it safe leads to so many missed opportunities.

When I'm looking back at my life (you know, at the end of it ) I'd rather be regretting the things I did than all the things I didn't.

I would say though, have an exit plan. Some money in an account to cover your fare home and 3 months worth of living expenses back here.

It's good to take chances, but it's also good to cover yourself where possible!

Make sure you

1.speak the language (looks like this one's covered)
2.have the right to work and
3.have enough money for a flight out.

The rest will fall into place.

It'll be fine. I've moved countries a couple of times without visiting, and to places where the cultural & linguistic differences were much bigger too. It was a fantastic experience, and as long as you are adaptable and open-minded (and keep a sense of humour), it'll be fine.

If you don't like it, you can always come back. :)