AIBU to move without visiting first

[slowestwildebeast]

I'm thinking of moving countries/halfway across the world to be with my dp, I have told people this and most ask how I liked the country when I visited. When I tell them I've never visited I get face. I don't see the problem but most people think I've lost my mind to just uproot and go without even a visit. AIBU to just go and say sod it?

You definitely need an escape plan. I moved to Canada and visiting several times didn't help at all. I had no clue what it was really like until I had lived here ages.

:) "dog they like to say hello to!"

I don't see the problem, but apparently I'm "running away" and "you'll regret it, what about your poor parents" and the obvious "so the NHS has paid for your training and now you're leaving" yes I am, I'm leaving, enjoy the cold. :)

You don't know a place until you live there. I used to visit the place I now live every year and love it. I now live here and hate it. Make sure you have a plan to come back if it doesn't work out and go for it. Good luck!

I have lived in 4 countries besides the one I grew up in. Out of these, I'd only visited two beforehand (one for 3 weeks, the other for 2 days!). Visiting beforehand really did not make any difference to how well I settled in - being a tourist is nothing like living somewhere on a more permanent basis. If it were me I'd go for it!

"no children, want to have them over there"

Of course, nothing wrong with that, but be aware that if your 1 year long relationship blows up and by then you have a child, it might be practically impossible to go back to your country without leaving your child behind.

You also need to find out what is expected from you as a wife/partner in the culture of your partner. Please note that context is an incredibly important part of how a relationship develops, so... if you change the context (culture/place) the relationship will change too.

Talk to other expats before you go, that would give you a good idea about what to expect, do your research and get a return ticket just in case.

this probably should have been AIBU to train in the NHS and leave after it's finished, in that sense I can see why people have been angry, but I didn't intend on meeting DP and leaving when I started the training.

Piglet I take on board what you're saying, I won't be having children for a while/until I'm settled and have a secure job. If things go wrong it will be difficult, which is why I'll be making sure I've made the right choice before having children/becoming a citizen.

I have moved to several countries without visiting first, And apart from one, I had a job to go to, so I knew it was temporary and could leave I hated it.
I don't see the big deal, especially if there is a time limit.
My only concern would be a language barrier, but since I teach in international schools, this has never been a problem when looking for work ( outside of work, yes!)

I've lived in a lot of different countries and whilst there are always frustrations, you are going to find them wherever. Living overseas is a great experience. One thing you might want to look at if it is an option is seeing if there are any expat forums just to get an idea of some of the main issues that expats have there.

I moved to the UK (from the states) without having visited here first. I don't regret it for an instant. But then, I was a military brat and grew up moving every couple years as a child, so it didn't seem as much of an issue to me perhaps.

I think it all depends on how adaptable you are. Even little things like crossing the street were different - kept looking the wrong way for oncoming traffic and nearly stepped out in front of a car. A bit embarrassing. But it's all about what's important to you. I HAVE missed things with my parents - and my father passed away last year and I was unable to get back for his funeral. So obviously you have to keep in mind that it does affect things like that.

Im guessing its Australia?

So where is it then (am nosy).

Also have you visited the living overseas board on MN? It might give you insight into little things you hadn't thought about, if you can't afford a visit.

poopoo you're right :) Thanks Karma, hadn't realised there was a board on here, I'll have a look.

All I'm worried about is being bitten by a spider, lunged at by a cane toad and kicked by a Kangaroo. :)

Noooo....it's the snakes you should fear!!!! Funnily enough, we know a family of 6 who are moving to Australian next month, and they've never visited.

Very brave, but exciting. Hope it works out for you all!

snakes, I forgot about the snakes! Perhaps I should rethink!

Brave is staying here with cranky Cameron in charge. :)

I realise you are probably joking. But. It seriously gets my back up when people slag off my country. Leave if that's what you want but there's no need to bad month the country that i and so many others have chosen to live in.

And Im not even Tory!

sorry poopoo, it is my country as well, I'm not slagging it off, I'm slagging David Cameron off. I love the UK with it's overpriced beer and Jeremy Kyle. Cameron though, he's a twit!

Don't be thinking JK can't follow you, he followed me to Canada. Bastard.

Australia is a great choice, having lived in both places, now here for 8 years and well to a point, have had enough, and am ready to also move back to Australia. Not because I get home sick, but the way of life is completely different, and well to be honest, the closest I have come to the type of people who are friendly and welcoming are up north. I do find that people here get worked up about the most ridiculous things, and you do start to wonder if they just do it because they don't have anything better to do.

Don't worry about the snakes, the only good snake is a dead snake.. and well, the rule of thumb is that if they can climb a tree, they are ok and aren't going to kill you..

I did it - 10 years ago this October. It's hard but worth it - you need to make sure you make the effort to get out there and meet people. I wish I had done that earlier as I relied heavily on DH initially. Its been good so far although we are thinking of moving back to my home country with the kids for the lifestyle.

Thanks Worrisome, I honestly don't slag here off, I was joking, but only about David Cameron, as a NHS worker being trained for a job that won't exist when I qualify it is upsetting. I will need to make my own friends, (if they can put up with my strange sense of humour). I'm back at work tomorrow for a 13 hr shift while Cameron destroys the NHS. :)

Do i qualify for overreaction of the day aware!?

Or . . . Overreaction of the day Award!

:) poopoo (enjoy typing that name) I love an overreaction so don't worry about it. I'm the same when dp says how much he hates this place, this place that made me!!

I moved to the UK without visiting, alone and it turned out just fine! People were really negative about it at the time when I told them. Just don't ask anyone's opinion as it's nothing to do with them and they are always negative. I moved knowing no-one and met so many people - in fact I had a ball! You'll be surprised how many people you land up talking to because you don't know anyone and have to make an effort.