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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask another mum for a lift to this party?

37 replies

faintpinkline · 01/04/2012 11:05

DD has been invited to a party an hour and a half drive away and its at 9am on a Sunday morning. DD's desperate to go (some kind of fairy dressing up photo session Confused) but I don't drive for medical reasons, DP will be away at a conference that weekend and although there is public transport I've found that the quickest route would mean leaving home at 5.30am in a taxi, making 2 changes on the train and still not turning up until 9.45am in a taxi at the other end. That assumes everything runs to timetable. A taxi is completely out of reach. Asking for someone to go out their way to pick us up at 7.30am on a Sunday is obviously unreasonable.

WIBU to ask DD's friends mum if she'll take us if we get a taxi to her front door? Its the only way I can see to do it without putting anyone out too much

wibu to rant at the family who live a 10 minute drive from school but have booked a party in such a mad location at such a bad time of day?

OP posts:
Original poster
faintpinkline · 01/04/2012 11:06

ps would obviously offer petrol money

OP posts:
JaxTellerIsMyFriend · 01/04/2012 11:07

I think if you offer to chip in for some petrol money and arrive in taxi at the friends house it WBU to ask.

savoycabbage · 01/04/2012 11:07

Sounds fine to me.

fivegomadindorset · 01/04/2012 11:07

YANBU, DD is getting a lift to a party next Saturday, I am bringing her and the child that she is going with home after work.

JaxTellerIsMyFriend · 01/04/2012 11:07

Also, WHY do some people do this? Book a party that nobody can be arsed get to without a load of hassle?

heyannie · 01/04/2012 11:08

I don't think that's an unreasonable thing to ask at all, worst she could say is no. Can't see how they would be offended by the request...

MoaningMinnieWhingesAgain · 01/04/2012 11:08

Christ almighty, you are a better woman than I am.

A party 90 mins away at 9am in the morning would go straight into the 'sorry we can't' pile in this house. And I can drive but only within a 30 mile radius because I am one of those silly women

I think asking the other mum for a lift is very sensible, esp as you don't drive.

patchesmcp · 01/04/2012 11:09

Doesn't sound unreasonable to me - in fact if you offer to split the petrol money it sounds like a great idea. If I was her I'd appreciate the company.

Crocodilio · 01/04/2012 11:10

What MoaningMinnie said!

ExitPursuedByABear · 01/04/2012 11:10

Hell no - It would be crazy for everyone to go separately.

I would go one step further and suggest your DD stays at said friend's house the night before to make it even easier.......

EdithWeston · 01/04/2012 11:11

Yes, I think it's a reasonable request especially as you're offering petrol money.

McHappyPants2012 · 01/04/2012 11:13

yanbu.

but who has a party at 9am Biscuit

catsareevil · 01/04/2012 11:14

I dont think that it is unreasonable for you to ask for a lift. Are you sure that the party childs parents arent plannning on transporting everyone? - When my DDs have been invited to parties outwith our city the parents have always offered transport by hiring a bus or arranging people to drive.

SydSaid · 01/04/2012 11:15

YANBU. Me and the mums around where I used to live often shared the party car journeys - which were regularly at the nearest leisure centre (6 miles away) or the nearest town (16 miles away).

It's not as far, but there is nothing wrong with your suggestion.

BoffinMum · 01/04/2012 11:16

Ask very nicely, deliver your DD to her, and give her a bunch of flowers or something.

BoffinMum · 01/04/2012 11:17

I would deff give a lift to someone in this situation.

Original poster
faintpinkline · 01/04/2012 11:18

There's no suggestion about it on the invite catsareevil. Looks like we're expected to get them there themselves.

Thing is I hate admitting to anyone that I'm less than independent so I guess there's a streak of pride in this but I just can't see how I'll manage it without asking for help this time.

OP posts:
FourArms · 01/04/2012 11:20

DS1 is having a party next wk, and it's half an hours drive away. However I'm arranging for me & my mum to drive all the kids and don't expect any other parents to come. Are you sure that's not the case with yours?

catsareevil · 01/04/2012 11:21

Unreasonable of them to organise that party then, IMO.

Not having a car shouldnt make a difference in how people view you as a person. I know some very independent people, but they dont all have cars. If my DD had been invited to a party like this and I knew that a friend had been invited who would struggle with transport then I would offer to take the friend, I wouldnt wait to be asked.

Jinsei · 01/04/2012 11:22

Yanbu, I regularly give lifts to other children in situations like this. I would never expect (or accept) petrol money either, though given the distance in this case, it would be a nice gesture to offer.

Surely it's common for parents to help each other out in this way? 'Tis round here, at any rate.

sayithowitis · 01/04/2012 11:23

Assuming this is not an April Fool's wind up:

Is Party Girl's mum? ( The one you are going to ask?) If not, is it someone whose child is going to the party? If so, then I don't think YABU. If, however, the person you are asking is not going to the party, than I am afraid YABU.

And yes, who in their right minds books a party for that time on a Sunday when it is so far away.

MollieO · 01/04/2012 11:25

If I booked a party for ds that was 1.5 hours drive I would also be hiring a minibus to take him and his friends. At least that is what happens with ds's friends. I don't fancy driving a minibus so always choose party locations that are local.

Even if parties are 30 mins away it is usual for the hosting parent to arrange transport - shared between those parents willing to drive and those who aren't able to.

MollieO · 01/04/2012 11:26

I'd also add that I think it is poor form of the party host not to check that invitees can actually get to the party location.

HOMEMADECHUTNEY · 01/04/2012 11:26

I agree with Jinsei, yours is a very reasonable request. And if I were the driver I certainly wouldn't expect or request petrol money.

Original poster
faintpinkline · 01/04/2012 11:28

Not an April Fools sadly (just noticed the date)

Yes the other mum is taking her DD to party anyway wouldn't dream of asking someone to drive that far soley to help me out unless it was a very major emergency

OP posts: