To ask another mum for a lift to this party?

[faintpinkline]

DD has been invited to a party an hour and a half drive away and its at 9am on a Sunday morning. DD's desperate to go (some kind of fairy dressing up photo session ) but I don't drive for medical reasons, DP will be away at a conference that weekend and although there is public transport I've found that the quickest route would mean leaving home at 5.30am in a taxi, making 2 changes on the train and still not turning up until 9.45am in a taxi at the other end. That assumes everything runs to timetable. A taxi is completely out of reach. Asking for someone to go out their way to pick us up at 7.30am on a Sunday is obviously unreasonable.

WIBU to ask DD's friends mum if she'll take us if we get a taxi to her front door? Its the only way I can see to do it without putting anyone out too much

wibu to rant at the family who live a 10 minute drive from school but have booked a party in such a mad location at such a bad time of day?

i wouldn't be attending a party that was an hour and half away at 9am on a sunday morning.

who the hell thinks that's a reasonable time and distance to expect people with children to travel to? that is mad.

MollieO - my experience is completely the opposite. Perhaps because children come from far and wide to school, all parents drive and so when booking parties, distance etc doesn't really get factored in by parents - particularly to something specialised that is not offered locally.

What does tend to happen is that the invitees parents get together and organise their own lift shares. And that is where it could be difficult for the OP because if she has never taken part in lift shares before, she may get accidentally overlooked - not through malice, just that I am in a lift share for Brownies - it fills every seat in my car; so if there were a party that they were all invited to, we would naturally gravitate to a lift share between the four of us.

There is a little girl in dd's class whose parents don't have a car. The rest of us usually work out the lifts between us and then whoever has space offers that child a lift. I don't think the parents ever have to ask. I just assumed that this is what people generally did.

I would ask the other parent for a lift plus offer some petrol money and also offer to return the favour if a similar issue arises again and your dh is around to do it.

I suppose we are just lucky then. Ds's school has no catchment area but most people seem to live within 15 mins drive of the school.

I also won't accept a party invite until I've worked out how ds will get there.

Very reasonable to ask.
We hosted a party at 10am on a Sunday 90 min. drive away Did our best to offer & coordinate lifts, though (parents obviously not expected to come, too). It was a combat games party for DS turning 12, and nearest venue we could find.

I certainly wouldn't organise a party for 9am on a Sunday, as I'm usually in my pyjamas at that time, but surely that's a decision for the host. If the invited guests don't like it, they don't have to accept.

LOL Jinsei I'm still in my pyjamas NOW and so is DD

That's what Sundays are for, no?

I rely heavily on lifts as I can't drive because of epilepsy. It is a total pita and I do often feel like I'm always on the scrounge, but I really don't think my friends see it that way and they often tend to offer before I ask.

The other mum is going anyway so it makes sense to get a lift even if you could drive. If dh is about we often take it in turns with other parents to do Brownie runs etc. It's just easier isn't it?

I wouldn't worry about it, but what were they thinking booking a party at that time so far away? Bizarre!

I rely heavily on lifts as I can't drive because of epilepsy. It is a total pita and I do often feel like I'm always on the scrounge, but I really don't think my friends see it that way and they often tend to offer before I ask.

I'm sure they don't see it like that, pantaloons. I certainly wouldn't.

I would tell the host that your DC cannot go unless someone can take her. I have done that a few times. In every case they have offered a lift as party child wanted my DC there. Don't get a taxi to the door, ask if she can pick up-she arranged to have the party miles away! Usually the host offers to take as they want the numbers/DC friends to go. Also, if they have any niceness in them they will be happy to take those who otherwise couldn't get there. Every time we arrange a party I always make sure we can take 2 or 3 kids who don't have cars/can't get there. Many parents pool together. YANBU at all and the host should have thought of a way for all guests to get there inc sorting out lifts for those with no transport.