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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feed dd in the baby changing room

34 replies

MarriedInVegas · 31/03/2012 21:17

Really not sure if i wbu, i obviously didn't think so at the time! I was shopping in the supermarket today, when dd starts having a very loud meltdown in her pram! (shes about 5months now) I tried the dummy, distracting her with toys, cuddles blah blah blah, anyway... nothing works. Decided to go feed her. The little cafe bit at the front was closed, which is where i would normally go sit to feed her, so i went to the baby changing room, which has a chair in the corner. Anyway dd usually feeds for about 15-20 minutes at a time so i didn't want to take up the only baby changing facility for that long of a time so i closed the door over,but still open and unlocked iyswim so that other parents would still be able to access it.
After about 10 minutes a lady came in with her toddler boy she looked at me, looked embarrassed and apologized. i said it was fine, i left the door open deliberately for the purpose of others being able to use the facility. lady leaves anyway and waits outside. I finish feeding dd and on way out the lady approached me and a told me (in a very polite way, not aggressive in anyway) that really i should have gone in and locked the door and that is the right etiquette for the situation. i had no idea really that it was a "situation"? im just wondering if iwbu? I genuinely thought i had done the reasonable thing!

OP posts:
AKMD · 31/03/2012 21:19

YANBU, people who are offending by bfing are a bit nuts. I would have been v. mildly annoyed if I'd been waiting ages to use the baby changing room because someone was feeding their baby there didn't want to share.

Flisspaps · 31/03/2012 21:19

Sounds more like her issue than yours

If the door was locked she may well have complained there was no need to lock the door if you were feeding your baby as it meant she had to wait to change her DS!

thisisyesterday · 31/03/2012 21:20

yes you were being very reasonable!

other lady clearly has issues over seeing people breastfeeding.

ChocolateTeacup · 31/03/2012 21:20

YANBU And the woman was weird to be embarrassed over natural feeding, unless ofc you have everything hanging out on display... XD

misslinnet · 31/03/2012 21:21

YANBU.

You've a legal right to breastfeed in public. It would have been more unreasonable to sit in there with the door locked in my opinion.

Eglu · 31/03/2012 21:21

YANBU. If you had locked the door you would have been unreasonable. Why she felt the need to go outside and wait I have no idea. Her problem definitely.

You were being polite and courteous.

AgentZigzag · 31/03/2012 21:21

I didn't BF either of mine, but I'd have done the same as you and would probably expect someone to do the same instead of blocking up the changing room.

She had the problem not you Smile

Kayano · 31/03/2012 21:22

Maybe it wasn't about BF at all?

Maybe she didn't want to change her baby in front of a stranger?

No one knows what she was thinking so we can't say she was
Offended by BF ffs

Kayano · 31/03/2012 21:23

Oh sorry I forgot that
Mn'ers were all psychoc

LimeLeafLizard · 31/03/2012 21:23

YANBU. She was being a bit odd, ignore.

Kayano · 31/03/2012 21:23

Ffs THIS DAMN PHONE

has a breakdown

twitches

GreenEyedMunster · 31/03/2012 21:23

Maybe, just maybe the lady was trying to make sure the OP was comfortable.
Not everyone in the world is anti boobage. Give the woman the benefit of the doubt, she was polite about it.

Original poster
MarriedInVegas · 31/03/2012 21:24

oooh glad it wasn't me :) ! Like i said, she wasn't particularly rude or aggressive about it, she just seemed a bit embarrassed and put out. It was just where she said that the general etiquette was to lock the door it made me question myself that maybe i was being a bit u

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 31/03/2012 21:25

if that is the case kayano then that's fine. but why would she then tell the OP that she should have locked the door because that's the "right etiquette"?

she wanted the door locked, because she didn't want to walk in and see someone breastfeeding.

MunroMagic · 31/03/2012 21:26

YANBU. I would have done the same in your situation.

thisisyesterday · 31/03/2012 21:26

am loving that she thinks there is a general etiquette for situations where you can't find somewhere to breastfeed and have to use a changing room lol

tell me more about the changing room.
is it literally just one changing mat and a chair in the corner?

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 31/03/2012 21:30

I think you were being considerate by leaving the door open so others could use the changing facility.

The only thing I can think is that her son had pooed and she wanted the privacy for changing him. Not sure though...

nicolag84 · 31/03/2012 21:34

YANBU, I have done the same in a Mamas and Papas changing room, they had provided a nice comfy chair for breastfeeding but I knew I would be feeding for ages, so I left the door open, only in my case a lovely lady came in to change her grandson and we had a nice chat while I was feeding!

Original poster
MarriedInVegas · 31/03/2012 21:34

firstly, no chocolate , i didn't have boob hanging out, i don't want anyone seeing my poor disheveled boob thanks, and i realize no one wants to see it Grin

thisis its just a standard baby change unit on wall, with mirror, chair in the corner. Nothing fancy round here!

OP posts:
BellaCB · 31/03/2012 22:14

YA definitely NBU. It was a supermarket, it was hardly like there were a wide choice of places you could go to quietly breastfeed so you did the most practical thing in the situation and were being considerate to other parents by keeping the door unlocked. Weird, weird woman for having a go at you. She'd have been having an even bigger go at you if you'd locked the door, no doubt!

TidyDancer · 31/03/2012 22:20

Doesn't sound to me like there was anything wrong with either of you. I think you (and others here) may have read too much into it. She was probably a little bit embarrassed because she'd walked in on you, thinking that you'd gone in there for privacy. Not all mums are comfortable feeding their LOs openly, maybe she thought you were in there because you didn't want to feed your baby with others able to see.

I think she was flustered at having interrupted you and you were overly concerned with doing the right thing. No real situation and no one did anything wrong.

TidyDancer · 31/03/2012 22:21

Bella, it doesn't sound like the lady had a go at the OP. It really honestly seems like too much has been read into it. Which is actually a good thing, because it would mean there's no issue.

AgentZigzag · 31/03/2012 22:23

That actually sounds more likely, Tidy.

Far too reasonable for a BF thread in AIBU.

Be gone wi'yer Grin

CocoPopsAddict · 31/03/2012 22:24

Well, it's just her opinion.

I think you did the right thing, actually.

KateSpade · 31/03/2012 22:34

I have an issue with breastfeeding, if that was me, i would have ran out, probably cried and been traumatised all day.

But thats my issue, YANBU at all.

I (bottle fed) my baby on a bus once... Needs must.