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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to think ex is a cunt?

47 replies

washingonawednesday · 31/03/2012 17:20

The ow is pregnant. Not split up a year yet. They have only been living together a month. Our son is 14 months old. He bailed out on us when he was 4 months old. How damned irresponsible!!!

We live 400 miles apart. Credit to him that he has visited his son every other weekend so far, but how long before the visits tail off then stop when he has a lovely new baby (never mind a pregnant girlfriend)?

It's not fair on either of the kids this soon and it depresses me to think that he'll set up satellite families all over the country, continue to not keep it in his pants, leave more kids and leave a trail of destruction in his wake.

Cunt!

OP posts:

anychocswilldo · 31/03/2012 17:22

YANBU ! He is a cunt

toutpuissant · 31/03/2012 17:25

YANBU OP.

AgentZigzag · 31/03/2012 17:25

Aye, you're right he is.

VinoEsmeralda · 31/03/2012 17:26

thought that was a too strong of a title but you are right!

AnyFucker · 31/03/2012 17:26

yanbu

MagsAloof · 31/03/2012 17:27

Yanbu

MissMogwi · 31/03/2012 17:28

He sure is. I've got one of those type of ex's myself. His cuntishness knows no bounds.
Eventually you come to accept it-and laugh as karma bites him on the arse.

puds11 · 31/03/2012 17:29

you lucky to be shot of him by the sounds of it! who knows when he will leave OW with her baby

LoveHandles88 · 31/03/2012 19:55

I think he is irresponsible, but not the C word. He is visiting his child despite the travel. You cannot predict what he will do in the future. I hope that he is also paying for his son too. I imagine it hurts a lot that he left you at that time, but, do you imagine it would have been better for you and your son if he'd stayed and not wanted to be there?
I hope that he continues his fortnightly visits, and that he does not travel the country leaving a trail of offspring.
Who knows, he may have found the love of his life in this ow.
I hope that you move on and are happy.

lurkinginthebackground · 31/03/2012 20:08

Has he got any other children op? Or will his next baby be his second?

You never know he might stick it out this time.

DinahMoHum · 31/03/2012 21:06

if hes visiting his son, then the rest is just speculation. He might be still as eager to see his child as ever?

fluffiphlox · 31/03/2012 21:08

Why would you call your child's dad this name? He's still his dad

nobutyeahbut · 31/03/2012 21:13

He's visiting his son every other weekend, is he supporting him financially as well?

If so whilst it's horrid that things have worked out the way they have, if this will only be his second child then yes yabu.

You have no way of knowing what will happen when his new dc is born.

notitswerebritish · 31/03/2012 21:15

Did he have an affair with this other woman?
Is he paying for your son?
Who made the move away, you or him?

Kayano · 31/03/2012 21:19

sashh · 01/04/2012 07:41

Well ...................... does he actually know he is the father?

Why don't you ask him when he next visits DC?

Then sit back and watch the fall out from a distance.

Yes I am evil, I know. And yes I did do it, in the days before DNA testing, which I supose makes me particularly evil.

grobagsforever · 01/04/2012 08:24

More info needed op.

Original poster

washingonawednesday · 02/04/2012 11:53

More info- the ow is the one he had an affair with- started when my son was 2months old. I booted him out when I found out at 4 months old and we then moved in with my parents. This was the second affair I knew of and he confessed to an additional 5 one night stands over the 12 uears we were yogether after we split.

He's been seeing this new one ever since, but every other weekend as she lives so far away and they have only been living together a month.

She was ttc with her previous partner so I knew they would be trying, but they are still in the 'I love you so much snuggle bumny' (at 33 and 38 years old - boak) stage, which I'm sure is going to end pretty sharp ish when she realises what he is like to live with. He was useless with our son, didn't engage at all and spent his whole time texting this new one. I anticipate that the stress of a new baby and his fortnightly absences to visit our son will cause their relationship to implode and he'll
Move on to the next leaving another broken family.

His dad has 6 children all over the country and only sees the last one which he lives with. Ex swore he would be different as he hates his dad and what he has done, he now hates himself as he has realised that he is just like him.

He does pay child maintenance, but the minimum amount which he is always trying to find reasons to reduce

Apparently she is the love of his life, but so was I in his opinion ( even though he spent the best part of a decade sleeping round behind my back)

So yes. I think he's a cunt. Can't see him sticking with his new partner when the baby stress gets too much and can definately see his relationship with our son breaking down when he realises he can't juggle everything. Children are too important to be conceived and then abandoned at will!

OP posts:

MissFaversham · 02/04/2012 12:00

If he visits his son and pays maintenance I'd just keep my nose out of it really.

WorraLiberty · 02/04/2012 12:03

It's difficult isn't it? Because for every irresponsible father out there, willing to impregnate someone straight away, there seems to be an irresponsible mother willing to be impregnated straight away.

Who knows how it will end....though I would have thought a 400 mile distance would dramatically reduce regular contact eventually anyway.

There's not much you can do to keep his relationship alive with his son, other than let him know you'd really like it to continue

Nancy66 · 02/04/2012 12:03

...but, boy, aren't you lucky to be rid of him?

think about that - not whatever may or may not happen with the new woman.

susiedaisy · 02/04/2012 12:05

YANBU op

hairytaleofnewyork · 02/04/2012 12:30

YABU sorry.

His behaviour was cuntish in having affairs but you are well rid and need to move on.

He isn't seeing enough of his son IMHO but cuntish is too strong.

corlan · 02/04/2012 12:51

YANBU - moreover, he is a cunt that should have his bollocks cut off.

Original poster

washingonawednesday · 02/04/2012 13:25

He had the option to move near to us - I was willing for contact every Friday night, every other weekend and in the week, but was informed that 'he has his own life and career to think about' so moved in with ow 400 miles away.

They deserve each other and I'm so glad to be well rid!

OP posts:

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