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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to think ex is a cunt?

47 replies

washingonawednesday · 31/03/2012 17:20

The ow is pregnant. Not split up a year yet. They have only been living together a month. Our son is 14 months old. He bailed out on us when he was 4 months old. How damned irresponsible!!!

We live 400 miles apart. Credit to him that he has visited his son every other weekend so far, but how long before the visits tail off then stop when he has a lovely new baby (never mind a pregnant girlfriend)?

It's not fair on either of the kids this soon and it depresses me to think that he'll set up satellite families all over the country, continue to not keep it in his pants, leave more kids and leave a trail of destruction in his wake.

Cunt!

OP posts:

Charliefarlie1192 · 02/04/2012 13:44

Just because you have a child with him OP, dosnt mean he cant go on to have children with the woman he is with now. He has made the effort to travel a huge distance every other week so far, and you are assuming that he will stop this before you now if its going to happen - you sound like you are not the type to even cut him some slack over visits when his new baby arrives either, I feel sorry for him and OW

AgentZigzag · 02/04/2012 14:29

Hahahaha at Charlie feeling sorry for them.

Got no standards Charlie?

Or are you an/the other woman?

ohdearwhatdoidonow · 02/04/2012 14:37

He cheated on you countless times he cheated on you when you had a newborn he's gone and impregnated someone else?

YANBU
X

degroote78 · 02/04/2012 15:11

Charliefarlie1192 ha ha...that's a joke right??!

Original poster

washingonawednesday · 02/04/2012 15:13

Actually Charlie - I am very accommodating. We have a holiday let that he stays in when he visits our son to keep the cost down for him (even though it winds the crap out of my parents to have him on the property every other weekend) and I spent 45 minutes on the phone to him this morning rearranging all our visitation dates over the summer as he prioritised other things over his son so can't stick to the schedule.

I have offered him all the bank holidays etc do he can maximise the time with his son before the new baby is born, but again he 'has plans' do isn't utilising them.

Don't make me start my fist mumsnet bun fight... ;)

OP posts:

Original poster

washingonawednesday · 02/04/2012 15:14

That should be first not fist (don't want anyone to think I'm getting physical!)

OP posts:

Charliefarlie1192 · 02/04/2012 15:28

Apologies, I didnt realise he had cheated on you. However I still dont think you should presume his behaviour before it has happened

porcamiseria · 02/04/2012 15:32

yanbu!!!

but what nancy66 said, you are RID

HTH

Original poster

washingonawednesday · 02/04/2012 15:42

I am well rid. Lovely new partner with a lovely son of his own. Starting to rebuild my life. After I found out the news we were chatting and laughing about the idea of me getting pregnant. It's something we both want but not now. We both appreciate that you need to know and live with someone for a good period of time before introducing children to the mix as they change everything.

I was quite naive before I had my son about how different life could be and my ex couldn't get out of there fast enough! We want time together with our current children and enjoyimg our baby free time on access weekemds before signing up to nappies and night feeds again.

I can just see this backfiring and blowing up in exes face and it'll be my little one and the new baby who have to suffer the consequences.

Thanks for your polite reply Charlie, although damn you for being reasonable- I was quite up for instigating my first mumsnet fight!

OP posts:

WibblyBibble · 02/04/2012 16:31

YANBU. He is both a cunt and a knob, in some kind of herpes-ridden hermaphroditic genital stew. I hope he still makes some effort to see his first son now- my friend's ex did this and only saw their son twice I think after but then he was already crap about contact beforehand so maybe there is some hope? Feel sad for both kids though really, it's unpleasant for parents not to even try at giving stability for a few years.

MissMogwi · 02/04/2012 16:42

YANBU. He is both a cunt and a knob, in some kind of herpes-ridden hermaphroditic genital stew.

^ indeed.

ameliagrey · 02/04/2012 16:48

I think you are still not over him otherwise why would you be at all bothered that he has fathered another child?

The thing he did that was wrong was to be unfaithful to you and desert his son and you so soon after he was born.

What he did then is of no consequence to you as long as he pays what he ought to for his son. You too have also found another partner - quite soon after your split IMO, so can't see why you are so .

corlan · 02/04/2012 18:31

why would you be at all bothered that he has fathered another child?

I don't think you need an awful lot of imagination to work that one out.

What he did then is of no consequence to you as long as he pays what he ought to for his son

No, it will always be of consequence. Even when you are long over the man, the fact that you and,more importantly your child, were betrayed in such a way colours the rest of your life.

Rhinosaurus · 02/04/2012 18:34

YANBU - in the words of my pal Jezza - he should put something on the end of it!

swiftybaby · 02/04/2012 19:01

YANBU

Not only is he a cunt but he is a total prick as well. Selfish and ludicrous. Oh but OP you should be grateful that he pays minimum child maintenance and sees his son every other weekend. Ridic!!!

Theglassishalffull · 02/04/2012 19:09

God there are some stange reactions to OP. Yes he is a pig ( hate the c word) I think OP should be bothered by her ex fathering another child so quickly I know I would be ...

TheCrackFox · 02/04/2012 19:14

He is a cunt. The ow will be a nervous wreck when she has a newborn because she knows exactly what he is capable of. Punishment enough.

Just breathe a sigh of relief that he is your ex.

susiedaisy · 02/04/2012 19:41

Exactly fox karma is a good thing indeed!

kickingKcurlyC · 02/04/2012 19:56

Yanbu. How irresponsible of him. You must be so cross.

Original poster

washingonawednesday · 02/04/2012 22:30

I am waiting for karma to come and bite him in the ass (fingers crossed!)

OP posts:

Mimishimi · 03/04/2012 03:01

You are well rid of him. Don't assume that he will abandon your son once the new baby arrives but, at the same time, be prepared for it. If you get the chance, tell the other woman about his one night stands and father's history and make it very clear to her that he could easily do the same to her. I am sure he told her lots of lies to justify what he has done and she may be oblivious to it ( even your existence I suspect ).

SparkleSoiree · 03/04/2012 03:13

Please correct me if I have misread this but did you say he had 5 one night stands in the 12 years you were together before you split but you still went on to have a baby with him?

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