Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

How much do you need to earn to be happy?

93 replies

Dolcelatte · 31/03/2012 12:17

Having been on Mumsnet for 4-5 months now it seems there is quite a cross section of people in terms of money, jobs, status, aspirations etc. Some seem to get by on comparatively little and appear happy, whereas others seem to be relatively rich but complain that they are struggling. Obviously, you can't put a price on good health, family and friends etc. But, that apart, just wondering, AIBU to ask how much money do you need to be happy?

OP posts:

EdlessAllenPoe · 31/03/2012 19:53

any amount that i don't have to turn up for work for ...

LeQueen · 31/03/2012 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HillyWallaby · 31/03/2012 20:04

I think it depends on who you mix with, the area you live in etc. You can feel happy and content and downright lucky on relatively little if everyone else around you has less, but even pretty affluent and successful people can feel a sense of failure and discontentment if they constantly measure themselves against the much wealthier people they sometimes mix with, and aspire to be more like.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

But conversely it can also be the giver of it. Some wise man or other once said that the definition of a rich man is not a man who has everything he wants, but a man who wants everything he has.

MissMarjoribanks · 31/03/2012 20:21

I think money makes you happy if you don't really have to worry about paying bills, etc and you can keep up with your social circle, whoever they may be.

It is also a balance between the sacrifices you might have to make to earn the money and the things the money buys you.

We are comfortably off. Nice area, nice house. Just had our bathroom redone and didn't really have to worry about paying for it. I have hugely expensive taste (always have done, even when I was skint) but now I can have the higher spec thing. That makes me happy.

But. If we wanted the house of our dreams (5+ beds, period, all original features) DH would have to work much longer hours. I'd rather have the bog standard 3 bed semi and DH around for bath time, etc.

So I'm happy to stay as we are. It might be different if we were scraping by every month though.

GinPalace · 01/04/2012 09:46

comparison is the thief of joy I like that.

Katienana · 01/04/2012 09:52

50k a year between us would be enough to buy a nice house, keep it in good repair, own and run a car, 1 foreign holiday per year and a good christmas. Currently on roughly 42k between 2 and it amazes me that it's not enough for all those things!

zumm · 01/04/2012 12:21

Gin says: "Of course money buys you freedom!!! Freedom from money worries, freedom from time consuming tasks associated with having little money and therefore fewer choices etc. Freedom to walk away from a crap job, Freedom to go on holiday anywhere you want..... lots of sorts of freedoms - maybe not freedom from imprisonment if you live in a nasty dictatorship (though I bet it could bribe a few freedoms in that scenario too) but plenty of worthwhile freedoms go with money. Anyone who can't see that has possibly never been properly poor imo."

But you CAN'T just walk away from a crap job if you need to have that job to pay for ALL the stuff you 'need' in your super rich life (big house, private school, fancy clothes etc). You are more enslaved than ever.

And no, the pre-industrial setting I was in was NO where near an A&E, in fact in a country that only had ONE hospital. So, what I would concede is that money CAN buy you better health - we don't tend to die from malaria round these parts - but do many of us have healthier. longer but more miserable lives? In my personal experience, I now realise so.

Also in response to the person who said they were happy being skint because everyone was skint - therein lies a great deal of truth. Has it not been shown that the bigger the gap between rich and poor the more depression and unhappiness in that society- particularly for those at the rich end (who are forever striving for more more more?

GinPalace · 01/04/2012 12:29

Zumm that is a good point. :)

Though there are lots of freedoms it does get you, which even though I agree with much of what you say, including the wealth gap problems, cannot be denied are granted by having money. So saying money does not buy you freedom is ignoring much of the benefits of having money can bring.

Also, it depends how you use your money - if you live well within your means, you could still walk away, as you don't have to be enslaved by your wealth.

Morloth · 01/04/2012 13:05

I was tidying the boys room today and changing their sheets. It was a glorious day and the sun was streaming into their beautiful room, the clean sheets has just come off the line and smelled wonderful and I thought to myself 'this is IT, when I tuck my babies up tonight, they will be in this warm, safe, wonderful place'. The money has bought me that happiness. I grew up poor, I have travelled and seen where some children have to sleep.

Money can and does buy happiness IMO. I don't have the worries that so many people have.

Enough money to not worry is what is needed, the actual amount will vary on your location and needs.

DizzyKipper · 01/04/2012 13:14

First putting in my disclaimer that "money doesn't buy happiness" I would certainly agree it can put you in a better position for achieving happiness through enabling comfort and security. Me and OH earn nowhere near enough for that at the moment, though once our debts have all been paid off the amount we need to earn will be dramatically reduced.

BikeRunSki · 01/04/2012 13:54

£100 more than enough. 'Enough' is determined by an infinite number of personal variables.

Loonybun · 01/04/2012 14:23

I don't think its how much you have, its how you manage it. For me, my main fear is debt. When I was with my ex husband we had £26k of debt despite having an income of about £60k. Our overdraft was always in use and I never felt justified in spending anything, however small.

We divorced and I am now remarried and my dh and I earn about £18k between us with a mortgage of £390 a month for a 3 bed house. I sold my old house and paid off all my old debt. For me I'm happy now financially because I know whatever we bring in belongs to us. We have no credit cards, and no overdraft. For the first time in my life I can put money towards savings and not paying off credit card bills. I never want to be in debt again. Even though I've never been behind on payments and always paid more than the minimum I just hate it.

We don't have tons of money. We have a 12 year old car we just about afford to run. I spend £65 a week on groceries and try not to spend more. I try and spend less. We don't have holidays but I suppose we could manage a haven thing or something if we saved hard. We're currently saving for a new hallway carpet - exciting stuff :)

I think you need enough not to be in debt basically. To afford a basic life style and anyting else is extra. I have dd aged 8 and a baby due in june. We do okay :)

marriedinwhite · 01/04/2012 17:24

I think it depends on one's state of mind and satisfaction levels. My glass has always been half full. I know women who are much richer than us but who are perpetually discontented. They shop for this and for that and just seem to care so much about appearance and image. DH and I simply don't care and don't worry about it. We are almost the absolute reverse of champagne tastes and beer money yet could probably buy whatever we want within reason.

I took DD shopping today and went into office and told her that she could chose whatever she wanted and that meant a pair of vans, a pair of pumps and a pair of sandals if she had had the patience but she just wasn't interested. She presently has one pair of trainers, one pair of school shoes and pair of boots and one pair of flip flops - all completely battered!

Cherriesarelovely · 01/04/2012 17:40

Enough not to worry constantly about bills and to have enough left over for the odd treat, bottle of wine, lunch out, day out with DD.

Cherriesarelovely · 01/04/2012 17:42

And I do love to go away in the summer even if it is a week in a caravan 50 miles up the road.

DrCoconut · 01/04/2012 18:15

It would be nice to afford an annual holiday. I'm also a bit concerned about the increases to my pension contributions and if it's worth being skint now to have a pension in future. It may not sound "responsible" etc but £50 a month extra is a lot to find when the mortgage, gas and electricity have all just been put up. We can manage on what we get now but for how long we don't know. We're still waiting to see what damage the budget has done. I have been so poor I couldn't afford toilet roll though so virtually anything (in the UK at least) is an improvement

HillyWallaby · 01/04/2012 18:55

I didn't make it up Gin so I can't take credit i'm afraid. It's a well-known(ish) proverb.

Emilizz · 01/04/2012 19:19

I don't believe that money buys happiness.
My dh and I have an income of about 200k per year.Yes we are very happy and get to live in a great house, go on several holidays per year and drive good cars.
However, we were also very happy when we first met and had very low incomes .

Money gives you choices and takes away the worry of whether you have enough to pay the next bill etc. It will only make you happy if your unhappiness was caused by not being able to pay the bills . It won't make generally discontent people happy.

I know lots of unhappy rich people.

Flip

1 2 3 4