to want sympathy

[canyou]

Well I am in pain, what was originally thought to be Cystitis turns out to be kidney stones
I want to wallow in my misery for one day but no I have to look after the kids, home work, dinner, scouts, ballet, terrible two's tantrums, fine what ever but stupid bastard DP has told my SIL that I would take her 2 DC no probs tomorrow because her gallstones are playing up and she cannot take her pain meds when she has her two DSes..
Oh Yeah he will be working a 24 hr shift
murder is only illegal if I get caught right?

fucking hell you have KIDNEY STONES

the worst pain I have ever had

phone your SIL and explain that you are sorry but you are too ill

and tell your DH he is a prize twat

We have had that discussion SIL is a bad patient so apparently gallstone pain is worse tbh I just want to be able to wee without the kidney pain
The pain is manageable with meds Mums don't get a choice do they
She insists she cannot have her DC and her DH really cannot get tomorrow off [the DH part is true]
I am considering asking BF college age DD to skip college tomorrow and I would pay her to help that is really bad right?

Just say NO! "Sorry, i didn't agree to this as I am ill too. You will have to make other arrangements". End of discussion. What a cheek!

I've had gallstones but not kidney stones, I'd assume they are similar pain wise though. Your DH just needs to tell her that he's sorry but actually you are only just well enough to look after your own children because you have no choice. Unfortunately she'll have to find other arrangements for her dc.

Tell your blinking DH that he actually needs to consider your health as well and not place his siater's needs above yours.

Does he know how much pain you're in?

I suggest, given the fact that SIL will be much more ill than you regardless, you collapse. Writh around because of the excruciating pain, chuck in a good amount of screaming too, while telling DH that you simply cannot look after other kids in addition to your own.

You have my full sympathy, btw

He is a bloody paramedic as a limb is not missing and I can breathe and have a pulse in his opinion I am fine
SIL ph is off.
I imagine we are in a similar amount of pain so I do feel for her

Also if she is at the advanced pain stage where pain is constant and not just in 5-6 hour attacks which pass (although the pain was worse than I have ever experienced, equivalent to labour or worse even), then she should be in a&e awaiting surgery. If she's not listed for emergency surgery in he next few weeks then it's very unlikely to be constant pain.

Oh and thank you for the sympathy it will help me feel vindicated in my 'selfish' stance

Threeprinces she has had a scan and mri and sent home with a diet and told to take over the counter painkillers as needed. I have prescription painkillers

My dm had kidney stones last year, we rushed her to hospital because she was in agony and we didn't know what was wrong with her.

I think you're a bloody hero to be able to function at all, I have never seen anyone in so much pain.

I hope you feel better, and UANBU!

canyou huge sympathies to you, what a horrible time you are having. First off YA Sooooooooo NBU! i really cannot believe that your DP did that knowing how ill you are feeling. There is NO way I would agree to doing this, it is completely unreasonable of your DP to arrange it and for your SIL to ask. Please do say no.

Well as soon as they scanned me, I was listed for surgery 2 weeks later. I know of people who have gone to a&e and then had surgery the next day.
I suspect she has gallstones, as do lots of the population with no symptoms, but her gallbladder was not actually inflamed enough to warrant surgery. If that is the case, you definitely trump her.

When I had the attacks they were absolutely awful but after a day or two I was absolutely fine then for ages until the next one struck.

Hope you're feeling better soon x

Ah, the medical professional problem. I hope you apply the same criteria when he gets ill. Just tell them both that SIL will have to make her own child care arrangements.

"as a limb is not missing and I can breathe and have a pulse in his opinion I am fine"

Presumably this also applies to your SIL too so she can look after her own kids.

YANBU Your DH is an arse.

Ok SIL not answering her ph I really don't want to ring her DH as it is a justify your job day tomorrow so he needs to be there as he needs his job.
I am waiting for BF DD to get back to me DP can use his golf money to pay her to be here tomorrow [I am thinking Euro 100 or maybe 150]
I have a morphine patch at the moment so I am happy he thinks I should have the DC.
I had to drive myself to hosp on wed night thanks to the good advice from here.

No Threeprinces no surgery for her. They could happily take my kidney right now though
Chaotic no the same does not apply as she cannot deal with pain
Chilenachica he is an idiot in my non professional opinion

Your not so (D)H is being ridiculous. Yes definitely get help in and get your (D)H to pay for it.
Then tell him straight how this makes you feel . I would imagine it makes you feel unloved, not valued as a person and not respected. You are on morphine how the heck are you meant to be looking after other peoples children. What happens if they hurt themselves whilst you take a nap or are a bit strung out on the morphine.
I'm beyond angry for you ( but then have had a bit of a crap day so am inclined to overrespond!)

They are HER children. Therefore her responsibility. Tell her to rack off.

DH had kidney stones before I knew him. He said they were agony and he is not one to moan at all!

Tell everyone you are on strike.

Blimey, you SO trump her. You are on a morphine patch ffs!!! What bit of that is too tricky for him to understand??? They don't just hand them out like smarties!

You on morphine, her on OTC. Mmmm, I know who I have more sympathy for. Surely if docs thought her pain was bad or she was not dealing with it, they would have given her something stronger.

Also, why on earth can't she take OTC painkillers whilst looking after children?

Canyou - completely sympathise!

I had kidney stones one Christmas. I crawled on hands and knees out of a pantomine of mother goose (Ex -dh - then dh - was there with the kids too - they stayed) and got a taxi to hospital.

3 days of pissing gravel later, the hospital let me home on christmas eve at 10pm (waiting for meds etc). Next day, I had ex-dh's family round to lunch (Christmas) - we were 9 in total - and they had sent me home with morphine Syrup (oramorph) I really don't remember that day at all...... I THINK I cooked the goose OK though....

Bwilderedmum although I will say vomiting and fainting on the floor of A&E may have bumped me up the queue, how long did it really go on for? My stones are 'embedded' so they want to wait and see
Not sure what planet DP is on but have childcare sorted BF DD and her friend will be here in the morning they will get Euro 250 split between them I only wish it could be more I am evil but not stupid but there will be 3 DC from 8.30 to 1, 5 DC from 1 to 3 and 8 DC from 3 to 6 I will try arrange a play date for my older two though in the morning
Will I be nice and give SIL my patches for the pain? I have spare from my GM

Your (D)H is being a knob & Dsil no doubt feels ill but if you do too then tough she'll have to sort out her own kids. That said, if u cant get hold of her now I would strongly suggest you DO NOT GET UP in the morning - tell DH you're in too much pain to move so he'll have to look after the kids (& leave him to decide how poorly his sister is now )

I am considering emailing this thread to show hat I am right
lechatnoir He needs to be at work in the morning but yes he can do the pre 7 am routine as he then as 20 min to get ready and leave to be on time the girls will be here at 8 am