I hate to say this but the lying about stupid things, the contacting an ex, implying that you are wrong for questioning him etc sounds EXACTLY like what my STBX did. I mean word for word. And he is my soon to be ex, so what does that tell you?
He lied about buying something a few weeks ago THREAD HERE and it was the final straw. He still maintains that he lied because I would have had a go at him, based on no evidence or history of that at all. And after thinking about it, I realised that he NEEDS to believe that I am that sort of woman. He has to believe that I am bitch who nags and keeps tabs on him and will have a go at him for spending money etc, because then it is all the excuse he needs to a) lie and b) cheat. Because after all, who would judge him for lying and cheating to such a miserable nagging bitch?
Except it isnt true. I am not like that, and he knows it. Which is why he is heart broken, literally infact I think he is on the verge of a breakdown. And I am not. I emotionally divorced him a long time ago because every little lie, every insult that suggested I was paranoid, every insinuation that I was something I wasnt, killed a little bit of love I had. Then, on the day of the iPod incident I realised that there wasnt any love left.
When I told him that, he broke. I saw it in his eyes. I dont think he genuinely believed that it would ever happen, but it has. And you know whats the worst thing about it? He will very soon find himself someone else, and he will do it all again, because men like that always do.
I am not telling you what to do, I am just hoping that by telling you what I did and why, you can gain some perspective and consider your options.
Take care xx