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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just am I?

40 replies

AugustMoon · 29/03/2012 18:02

We're moving tomorrow, I've packed the whole house and we have a removal service who will just load / unload. We have 2 DC (last day of term tomorrow!) a dog, 2 cats and some fish. I am 21 wks pg.
DH has taken the afternoon off work but he says he's going to his boss' leaving do - lunch at a v posh hotel about half an hour away and refuses to tell me what time it starts / finishes.
For balance: 1) his boss has been very good to us financially and 2) DH went to a lunch last week which was strangely also his boss' leaving do Confused
Am I being unreasonable to think DH should skip the lunch and come and help me move? Or at least ask boss what time it starts / say he can't stay long so I/we can plan around.

OP posts:
LittleMissGoodEnough · 29/03/2012 18:04

The latter definitely, if he really has to go. Yanbu to need to plan this!

AKMD · 29/03/2012 18:05

YANBU to option 2 at least. If he means all afternoon a BBQ with several beers then YANBU to option 1 as well.

theonewiththenoisychild · 29/03/2012 18:07

YANBU i wouldn't be happy either

Flisspaps · 29/03/2012 18:08

YANBU.

Who on earth goes to a leaving do for an unspecified amount of time on the same day as they are moving house and expects their pregnant wife to say 'Oh, OK, enjoy yourself dear' Hmm

Nenufar · 29/03/2012 18:09

YANBU. He is being so unfair!

AutumnSummers · 29/03/2012 18:10

YANBU. It's really very selfish of him to do this at all, let alone being so secretive about his itinery for the day. You are right to be miffed.

JustHecate · 29/03/2012 18:14

his boss is having 2 leaving dos? Is that true or is your husband going somewhere else? (like booze up with mates or something!)

troisgarcons · 29/03/2012 18:18

When you say good financially - how good do you mean? There's good and there's really really good - some favours have to be acknowledged. If the boss was that good, then call in the pickfords men - well worth it to have them zoom through your house and professionally pack everything.

Seabright · 29/03/2012 18:21

Do you know the boss well enough to ring and ask for timings?

MrGin · 29/03/2012 18:29

If you've already 'packed the whole house' what is it you'd prefer DH to do at home ?

Panamama · 29/03/2012 18:44

Refusing to tell you when he'll be around on the day that you move house is pretty unreasonable. He should have asked you if you were okay to do it alone for a while, then either not have gone or have showed up at the lunch for a limited amount of time and then come back.

Original poster
AugustMoon · 29/03/2012 19:02

MrGin. Really? I don't know, drink coffee and read the paper? It's not as if we'll be busy!

OP posts:
Original poster
AugustMoon · 29/03/2012 19:05

Seabright, I emailed him and asked him as DH refused to ask. I know him well enough. I was very pleasant and wished him a good send off, thanked him for everything etc. DH says i'm nuts and that he will get the email and laugh about it.

OP posts:
Goolash · 29/03/2012 19:26

What time are the packers coming?

I find his behaviour very odd. Food will probably be served between 1 & 2, at least an hour to eat, he's not going to be back much before 4? Why did he bother taking half a day off?

Inertia · 29/03/2012 19:31

YANBU.

Perhaps some incredibly important work-related fun activity with vague timings will crop up for you on Saturday? I'm sure your DH will happily supervise the children and the move, given how little work he thinks it involves.

AutumnSummers · 29/03/2012 19:42

He says that the boss will laugh and that you're nuts? He is missing the point here really. You're faced with him refusing to let you know what's going on and you're having to circumvent him by asking his bos and he sees no issue at all there?

i'm really curious about what he big deal in telling you what to expect is. It seems off and suggests that he's enjoying the secrecy. Almost taunting you with it. Not cool.

complexnumber · 29/03/2012 19:48

So are you sitting at home on a bunch of boxes with kids and pets while he is having dinner with his boss?

Surely there is another side to this, otherwise he is being a complete git.

GiserableMitt · 29/03/2012 20:04

What has he actually said when you've asked about timings? I'd be smelling a rat

AutumnSummers · 29/03/2012 20:08

Giserable (Love the Spoonerism in your talkname!) my nose hairs would definately be twitching!

AlbertoFrog · 29/03/2012 20:13

Does he usually refuse to answer your questions?

I would think he would want you to know where he's going to be and when. Especially when you're pregnant.

Sorry but I think there are bigger issues here.

YouChangeWithTheWeather · 29/03/2012 20:14

Does he have the address of the house you are moving to? I'd be tempted to pay a random stranger to open the door when he finally decides to join you and tell him he must have the wrong house.

nightowlmostly · 29/03/2012 20:29

It is a bit strange, moving in a stressful day anyway, what with having to get to the new house, go to the estate agents, wait for keys, hang around hoping that everything goes ok with the money side of things etc etc (can you tell I've just been there?!).

I find it most odd that he's going to work at all, never mind going out socialising after. Is he always so completely unhelpful?

Original poster
AugustMoon · 29/03/2012 20:46

AutumnSummers, yes that's it. It is like he's taunting me. As if it's beneath him to let me know his plans. Tbh I've had enough.

OP posts:
Original poster
AugustMoon · 29/03/2012 20:47

YouChange, ha. Good idea. Might just try that.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 29/03/2012 20:48

I might forget to give him a key to the new house...

Has he any idea what work will be involved at the other end?

Arse.

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