to refuse to wear tights?

[BaronessOrczy]

I am getting married in 9 weeks.

My mother (who is a lot bit of a control freak) is insisting I wear tights.

When I refused, she instead proffered me pop socks.

To be clear, I don't have anything against tights in their place, but I'm desperately worried that slippy tights will mean my shoes will fall off when I kneel for the blessing (low heeled courts with no sides IYSWIM) and then it'll be a complete palaver. I can just see this happening.

I have been remarkably chilled out about the wedding and all the arrangements to date. I have managed to compromise on most things and have kept within budget and not been brideszillaish.

AIBU to tell her that God can't actually SEE if I'm wearing hoisery and none of the guest will be able to tell either, seeing as how my dress is to the floor? AIBU to unleash the bridezilla within?

Surely stockings are you answer and part of your bridal lingere?

I can imagine what conditions would be like down there if you're wearing tights over a big dress, nevermind if you're lucky enough to get weather like we've got at the minute! Hold ups my darling- the ones with the sticky stuff on the back. Marksies do them, should keep Carole your mum happy.

Surely fake tan - can't believe everyone still wears tights.

Though tights/stockings are not always slippy in shoes - you need a practice run.

Never occurred to me to wear tights in August. No, actually it did occur for about 5 seconds. It's a big day, you'll be hot, there'll be a lot of layers and you don't need to worry about anything extra at all. But then, I hate wearing tights, even in winter.

Why not get tights so mum doesn't spring them on you and then pre-ladder them?

Or if you are happy with tight-wearing generally just practise the kneeling so you are prepared.

You can get top-end hold ups that will be long enough for you.

I got my bridal ones from Fogal and they were great, really comfortable. The top end brands also do hosiery with non slip dots on the feet part so they would feel secure in your shoes. Those are fab and really work.

I tan. I don't need fake tan. Honest! I've only have 2 layers on, I'm not having a traditional wedding dress. Mum has been so so involved in the wedding, I've pushed back but... you know how it goes. We've got what we wanted and we've let the rest be a compromise.

I reckon the way forward is oversharing. Nice touch to put in the bit about thrush

I tried practising kneeling just before dinner. My shoes fell off, and I wasn't wearing tights. I think I'm stuffed either way. I have tights, I can take them with me to the fitting and see how they feel in the shoes with the dress, and practice kneeling there. I bet the dressmaker will make mum see sense [hopeful]

Got to dash out now but I will reread later.

Tightgate. Honestly. Never in a million years did I think this would be the straw which broke the proverbial camels back.

I can solve all your problems here... I got married in flip flops SO not only could I absolutely not wear tights, I didn't have to worry about my shoes slipping off the back when kneeling!

it was more the boning in the dress digging in when I sat down that caused the agony during the service

What you do is take one pair of tights with you and when you put them on you accidentally on purpose ladder them

Surely it's in the Wedding Rules that you should wear white stockings with a blue garter belt in order to have the cheesy bride-looking-coy-as-groom-lifts-her-skirt photo

If you don't wear tights or stockings please get your feet done before the wedding tries to erase memory of friend's yellow cheese-grater heels when she knelt at the altar

I wore not one stitch under my gorgeous backless handmade dress and very high heeled shoes. Even if I say so myself I looked and felt fantastic! Wear what you want! The only part of me exposed was my back. Tights?? Makes me bawk just thinking about putting a pair of horrible tights on -especially under a wedding dress!

Ditto what cheese said, except for the dancing in the evening I swapped my fab shoes for gorgeous fluffy slippers.

When you kneel down your dress is not going to ping up at the back is it (because it's got a great big hoop inside)?

It's your day so say no and enjoy.

Sounds like you've let her become too involved in your wedding. I'd tell her firmly that what you wear is your decision not hers and tell her you are letting her dress herself. I'd avoid the subject and her. Why is your mum coming with you to the dressmakers? If you insist on overinvolving her in all decisions it's not surprising she feels she has a say in everything. Do stuff on your own.

No, no hoop, just a long petticoat. There will be no pinging up, thankfully!

I will check out the stockings from Fogels! I've got little ballet pumps for the evening when my feet are hurting :)

2Rebecca, because my dress is her gift to me. And because I do actually love my mum even though she drives me a bit bonkers, it's a small price to pay to make her happy. There's plenty of other stuff I've organized and done on my own.

Next question, if I do end up in stockings and suspenders - your knickers go on over the top, right? Otherwise how do you go to the loo?

Compromise, wear the pop socks with a smile and take them off in the wedding car on the way. She'll never know.

Weird.

Yes, knickers definitely on top.

Just tell her you will wear then and then don't, how will she know?

I didn't wear tights but I was in Turkey so it was very hot