to refuse to wear tights?

[BaronessOrczy]

I am getting married in 9 weeks.

My mother (who is a lot bit of a control freak) is insisting I wear tights.

When I refused, she instead proffered me pop socks.

To be clear, I don't have anything against tights in their place, but I'm desperately worried that slippy tights will mean my shoes will fall off when I kneel for the blessing (low heeled courts with no sides IYSWIM) and then it'll be a complete palaver. I can just see this happening.

I have been remarkably chilled out about the wedding and all the arrangements to date. I have managed to compromise on most things and have kept within budget and not been brideszillaish.

AIBU to tell her that God can't actually SEE if I'm wearing hoisery and none of the guest will be able to tell either, seeing as how my dress is to the floor? AIBU to unleash the bridezilla within?

Loving the knee her in the face suggestion!

Ragwort, who says I am sensible?!

If I told you she keeps informing me her outfit is 'channelled by Kate Middleton' that might give you an idea of the MOTBzilla she has turned into. Especially when it's actually Carole she's doing a good impression of.

I keep reminding myself, at least she's showing an interest, at least she's making an effort.

I used to always wear hosiery & shoes & never had a problem.

Wouldn´t have occurred to me to have bare feet on my wedding day tbh.

I wore hold ups as it "finished off" my underwear iyswim.

Would garters with hold ups or a garter belt with stockings work?

To me, it's either tights or no tights. I'm definitely definitely not doing the garter belt thing. Its so not me, and I can't think of anything worse than stocking creepage during church!

I'm not against wearing them, just that I'm worried about my shoes. And I can't understand why I should wear them - are we in the 1950s?

Those of you who think tights should be worn, can you explain why please?

You're a grown woman with a specific preference, based on sound logic, which is in any case none of your crazy mother's business. I second the 'knee her in the face' advice.

And have a great time!

OP, why does your Mum think they should be worn? You haven't explained.

YANBU. But then I got married without knickers because you could see the line through my dress. I had a knicker-less wedding. I'm fairly certain nobody noticed.

I also threatened to wear my trainers as my dress was long enough for nobody to notice. I think in the end I wore hold up stockings and I did finally find some shoes that didn't do me an injury when I wore them.

Since you are kneeling for a blessing have you considered this pointless waste of money investing in these OP? I'm sure Kate Middleton had them on her shoes at her wedding so your mother will love them

i am offically a MOTB (august 18th is indelibly inked on my brain) so i know everything and what i say is absolute law! ignore your mother she is a nutcase! im not sure that god will be looking up your dress to check the state of your hosiery but your new husband may well do!, tights are not designed to get a fella in 'the mood'! tell your mum that and i bet she never mentions tights again!

I don't know what her reasoning is, fallenangle, she goes all pearl clutchy and bosom-hoicks. She can't articulate it. She goes into passive aggressive mode when I try to have a rational discussion about it. Then tells me off for questioning her - it makes her sulk. Yes, I know, I know...

She also tried to get me to have trees in the church. That one didn't wash, it's a small village church, not Westminster Abbey. I mean, I like Kate and all, but I am not her!

Thanks, Cotes!

haha Jesus, I may well do that!

im so sorry baroness but im getting a very clear 'miranda' style wedding in my mind!

YANBU at all!

However, I feel obliged to point out that God WILL see that you have no tights on. I'm also pretty sure he won't be offended.

woah!!! really!!! god looks up brides dresses?? are you sure?

This is sooo simpe op!

Tell her she is right, tell her you will wear tights.

But on the day, you simply don t!

Well, I don't think he so much looks up the dresses as through them! I mean, he's God, right? So, all-seeing, all-knowing etc etc

Well for me it was because I was wearing shoes, not sandals that I wore stockings.

tbh woah, i think that thought would be more off putting for a wedding night of bliss and passion than the sight of 40 denier american tan!

Oh dear Baroness. You have seen off the Trees at least. Perhaps, to avoid conflict, give in. You are more likely to look back at the pearl clutching than a shoe sliping off. Find the non slippiest tights you can and practise kneeling in them and the shoes. Oh, and make sure she practises that hand twirling regal wave for the carriage ride through the throngs of onlookers.

God sounds pervy.

Honking chafing lmao!

YANBU

But then I didn't wear shoes at my wedding ceremony, just sandals at the reception.

I had a very childish footstomping discussion with my mother in which I made it clear that I was getting married barefoot and that if it offended her so much then she didn't have to come and watch.

She came and I got married barefoot.

In your case OP I'd go the route of oversharing about your sexlife and the unsexiness of tights or go into great detail about sweating, chafing and thrush.

Or tell her she is so right about the tights that you want to show them off by wearing a mini dress like back in the sixties when she was middle aged young.

actaully fallenangel, i have to disagree with you about just giving in - the ops mother has already had her day and done what she wanted, she is obviously getting a great deal more input than just the question of tights and for that she should be grateful! at the end of the day, this is the OPs wedding, not her mothers, and the OP should be happy with how she looks/feels - a MOTB may make suggestions but that all, and i speak as a MOTB!

all joking aside OP, if you dont want to wear tights then dont! the issue is hardly likely to send your mum to an early grave if she dosent get her own way!

I am so amused by all your options, OP, that I can't decide which one I like best. Massive oversharing of sexlife?

But I think I'd say "yes mum, of course." and then not do it. She really is bringing 'not being listened to' upon herself, by being so bloody ridiculous.

Life is toooooo short for passive-aggressive bosom-hoiking, isn't it?

If all else fails, honk at her.

I was amused to read your post because the same thing happened to me! My mother and I had cross words about wearing tights at my wedding as well. It happened on the actual day rather than before hand like you but it was a really odd thing to have a falling out over.

I didn't want to wear anything but had packed tights and hold ups just in case as I was aware they might be needed.

There I was getting ready at my parents house having a super time being glammed up and photographed and then came tightsgate totally out of the blue. My mum got really overexcited about the fact I was dressed without tights.

I think my Mums generation are all Mad Men era in style because I spent my teenage years being told to wear a "slip" beneath my skirts and dresses as well as tights of course.

I went with the hold ups in the end which worked out really well for me. There are photos where my legs can be seen just a little during the first dance as I am holding up the train of my dress (just a bit). I am glad I wore them and listened to my Mum (annoying she was right) as I am a pasty girl and wasn't into fake tan.

Fake tan it, or wear hold ups - that's my advice.