to not want to hear these comments from family?

[familyfun]

told mil my sis had baby girl (we have 2 girls), she said "oh its all girls in your family isnt it, why dont you put in a proper baby order", "id laugh if you got pregnant and it was a boy", "dp would love a boy".
fil pipes up "at least having girls you can get them to help you with the housework"

we live in midlands and speak with local accent and use some incorrect grammar. dad says "its a shame my granddaughters have to speak like that with bad grammar, you cant get a good job with bad grammar and accent, why dont you correct them"
i told him i dont want their confidence knocked by being told off for talking how everyone else talks (as mine was when i was corrected every time i spoke and offered elecution lessons and told id never get a good job) and as we live here and all speak the same then obviously our kids do too.
he says he has always lived here but speaks properly and wants his grandkids to aswell.
i think its what they say not how they say it that counts and just want them to be happy.
these comments they probably forget when they leave but i feel so upset by them i feel so hurt.

Hmm. Maybe. I'm at the top of my game in a south-east-centric profession, revolting regional midlands accent and all.

OP they sound rude and ignorant and not worth the headspace. Just smile politely and not give them a moments further thought.

i wish i could ignire it but because its family it hurts more.
i think accent is just where we live and it would be unfair to keep telling them off for a midlands accent when we live here.
some grammar i correct as i want them to read/write properly but i literally spoke less as a kid through correction/judgement and dont want to do that to my kids.

Sounds like you're doing the right thing. It is hurtful to hear criticisms from family, but just feel confident in yourself that they are talking nonsense. I suppose they only want the best for your DCs - even if they are going about it in a misguided way.

Many you can give them a basic biology lesson, that it's the men who determine the sex

if dds move when older and change accent fine, but if they stay as i have then i presume they will keep the accent also fine.

strandedbear why glad?
as a child i believed id never geta job etc but now i think if people dont like my accent then dont talk to me, i dont need to talk to assholes anyway.

To be fair, if the grammar in your posts is representative, maybe they have a point.

Other than that, YANBU.

I'm from the midlands too and was corrected (all the flipping time) by my mum thankfully and now I don't have an accent. People are surprised I was born and bred here. I'll be doing the same with my DS as I hate the accent and unfortunately the midlands accent is thought of as undesirable.

I am from the midlands, have an accent, but still speak correctly. The two are not mutually exclusive!

Besides, everyone 'has an accent' whether its midlander, northerner, londer etc, its still an accent.

I think people are blurring midlands accent with Birmingham

Anyway, OP, I think its tragic that you were made to feel like that as a child and it can only be a positive thing that you're actively trying to banish those sorts of potential fears from your own DCs.

Most people have several sets of speech. There is what you use every day, colloquial speech. Kids will dumb down and use slang with mates. You will step up in an interview etc.

Accent shouldnt matter, unless it's a particularly heavy dialect that no one can understand and you are in, perhaps, a customer service type of role to a wider audience. (Enough complaints on here about Indian call centres to drum that point home and accented staff, personally I can't get past some English accents and find the Mumbai ones far easier as they are well educated graduates with correct grammar)

i would gently correct that too stranded bear, but when dd says "one of them" i will not repeatedly say one of those.
thanks lime

Yy Babydubs. My East Midlands accent is abhorrent. My articulation and grammar however are exemplary.

thanks vivi,

I like Brummie accents - they always sound friendly

i am friendly (unlike some of my family)

Accents are nice, but correct grammar is important I think, and the only way they will speak with correct grammar is if they are spoken to with correct grammar.

correcting children is not always helpful... as you yourself demonstate. modelling correct use (and sounding like a pretentious idiot ) is better. teaching children that thee are different ways to speak is good; one way with friends, one way for formal occasions. (school classroom)

I think children can learn a number of different 'codes' for different situations. It just has to be modeled.

I agree with what Gabid said, I think an accent is different to correct grammar usage. But there's grey areas like saying 'isn't it' vs 'int it'.

I grew up in Bavaria where a strong German dialect is spoken, however teachers at school used 'High German' with correct grammar. So at home I would use dialect and at school 'High German'.

Also, DC (7 and 3) are bi-lingual English/German. DS (7) speaks German to me and DD and English to most other people.

I often do 'correct' DS's grammar or choice of vocabulary, but in an indirect way by trying to talk about the topic using correct language as often as possible.

thanks all, i agree with you that accent i am going to accept but grammar is important so will model correctly as much as i can but not correct as such as i dont want to stop them talking.
i struggle when dd says i werent, without correcting and saying no its i wasnt, i model you werent then she thinks its correct and if i say i wasnt she says no me not you and it gets confusing.