Mumsnet whip-round to buy a dinner with Dave at number 10?

[shagmundfreud]

I could put in a fiver out of my soon to be lost CB.

We could all nominate the most articulate deranged mumsnetter to act as our representative.

(do you think he'd do more than polite conversation? For £250000 I'd expect tongues and everything).

I was going to suggest hully and will chuck in a fiver. Can I offset that money against the tax on my mansion please?

Bloody hell cm were not all made of money like you

Now are we thinking this through? How long does £250K get you? Do we need that long? Say £250K is for 3 hours (random guess) then that's £1389 a minute. Bargain. We only need a few minutes for a Hully/scottishmummy/wetfish combo, surely?

Actually can we send gabbyloggon

I will donate the cost of a litre of petrol. So that should make up the short fall.

How much does arsenic cost?

Regrets

A cheap date Hassled! 5 minutes to shoot your load rearrange Dave's features with a hefty kipper , wap the wodge in the usual brown envelope and out the back door with Sam none the wiser.

Oh well if you're sending scottishmummy then I'm in for a tenner. And I'll chuck in a 4 day dead octopus as well, for the fishing.

I wonder how much it would cost to hire Dave Lamb to do a voiceover for the fish-slapping?

£10 and another £10 if Hully goes.

We need to send 2 mumnetters... One to slap him with the wet fish and one to video the happyslapping.

We need a delegation natch: all the bestests nations have one.

I propose Hully, scottishmummy (inspired!) and maybe AF?
Or Aitch for added royalty?

And: is the assorted fishmongery to be fresh or frozen? [innocent question]

Does this make Dave a male escort? Selling yourself for company at dinner.

Bit reluctant to stump up cash for the Tories, but you can have the contents of our kitchen composting bin (very green)

I bring a Gregg's sausage roll with a bite out of it to the table. David Cam has enough money.

Send in Justine. That will teach him.

No one has yet suggested important topics for debate.

MN has a wealth of important and life changing discussions we could consider.

Like where Dave puts his clock on the shelf.

DD managed to see him for free and didn't tell him to give her back her CB

But I thought he was here all the time anyway? You know listening and caring and being in it together. I'm quite disappointed.

maybe a cornish mum could go and bake him some pasties

£10 to send someone & a kipper
£10 to send Gabbyloggon

Need both videoing though!

Another vote for Hully.

I'll put in a tenner. It only needs 25,000 of us to put in a tenner to be able to afford it so shouldn't be a problem.

Mind you, if we gave Hully £250k with instructions to give it to David Cameron, can we be sure she wouldn't just do a runner instead?

Good poi8nt Hackmum! I think we would need to pass it to MNHQ on behalf of Hully

I'll put in a tenner if Scottish Mummy goes and Hully films it.

I would piss myself with glee if GabbyLogon got to go.

Stick me down for a tenner but only if whoever goes promises to tell him that I said he looks like a freshly-wanked penis. Ta.