To be really upset with DH?

[curlywurlycremeegg]

I have had a really nasty cold/flu thing for the last 5 days. Raging temp, cough, generally feeling awful. I was hoping it would clear on it's own but still feeling rough this morning I said to DH that I will have to see the GP today and checked what time he would be home. He said 5 but would try and get home a bit earlier (he works flexi), so I said what should I do if I get an earlier appointment and he said just to let hime know. I managed to get appoinment for 5.20 when I phoned at lunchtime and texted DH, he phoned me 10 mins ago saying he had only just got my message and wasn't going to be home in time. I am feeling really rough and there is no way I can manage to take the three small DC with me. He says he doesn't have his phone on him all the time and it is my fault as I should have tried to call him seeing as I hadn't heard back from him. As he usually doesn't reply to texts, had told me to let him know if I got an appointment and seeing as he didn't have his phone on him he wouldn't have answered if I had phoned I don't really think that is a good excuse. I know I am overeacting but I feel so rough and the surgery have no more appoinments that I am sat here crying over his apparant lack of care.

Can't you just take the kids?

He should have remembered to check his messages though

I thought that he was supposed to be in at 5?

If so, would that have given you time?

If so, I don´t see what him just getting the message has to do with anything tbh.

No, you shouldn't be really upset with him. He's at work. He's busy and your doctors appt is not first thing on his mind. Not ideal but life. Sorry. You'll have to take kids with you. If you can cope with having them at home with you ill then you can cope going to the doctors with them. Again, not ideal but life. Sorry, it's rubbish really but hey ho. Hope you feel better soon.

I think you are married to my DP! Still sucky seeing as he knew you were trying to get an appointment and could have checked with you. Men are very thoughtless.

Hope you made the appt and feel better soon, x.

Would him being back at 5 give you enough time to get there?

If so, YANBU. And if not, YANBU. He should have checked his messages and apologise.

YANBU, he said he'd be back at 5, he knew you were likely to be in touch, he's being a bit weasle-ish passing the blame back to you. Maybe you should have phoned too but it wouldn't kill him to check his phone would it?

Taking 3 children to a GPs surgery when you have flu is much harder than sitting at home with them

Is Thomcat the OP's DH, or maybe his mum?

What's the doc gonna do anyway? These things are rarely helped with antibs (not bashing antibs, they have their place) but colds/flu just run their course usually, they are grim though so Get Well Soon!

And whilst it´s easy to get tied up at work-does he not have a morning break/lunch where he could have phoned OP to see how she was/check the appointment situation?

If I asked my dh to come home so I could go to a doctors appointment without kids he would laugh in my face! YABU!!

I also have 3 dcs btw but sometimes you have to just suck it up-I take kids to all appointments I have as dont have any free childcare on tap.

I havent been to the doctors in 7 years though-if I am ill I buy over the counter stuff,grit my teeth and get on with it

Bellstar why would he laugh? Wouldn't he want to help you out if you were ill?

Could you get a taxi to the GPs - take books and stuff to DCs then have DH meet you after the appointment and help you get home?

I put off going the the GP for exactly this reason this winter - we don't drive and I couldn't face it. I ended up a lot worse so bad DH had to take time of work which till then was unheard of.

Wow Bellstar your h sounds like a peach. My DH works long hours and has quite an inflexible job but even he would try and help me get to a docs if I was sick. In you circa OP YANBU. You agreed something and he as reneged on this. My DH would have made sure to check his phone and would certainly ave rung me at least onc on the day to see how I was coping. Is he not even going to make it home for five now?

Well, I was once so ill my leg fell off, AND my ears, AND I was looking after six children, all under six months. In fact, I was breast feeding them. But do you think I would have even imagined for one second that my partner could have held one of the babies for me whilst I dialled for the doctor? No way! I just got with it. YOU HAVE TO WHEN YOU'RE A MUM.

Cut the OP some slack! It sounds like she was really ill (proper flu, not just a-touch-of-flu-that's-just-a-cold-really) and has been looking after three kids whilst feeling like death. Her DP ought to have checked his phone, since her knew she was trying to get an appointment, and got back to her.

Now he feels guilty, and is taking it out on her, trying to make out that it is somehow her fault that he didn't get back to her.

I could have taken all three with me if I had ben given enough notice, but as he had already said he would be back at 5 and I also had sent him a message about the appointment as a precaution then I wasn't prepared to take them as I hadn't left enough time to get them ready, he phoned about 8 mins before my appointment time (they were running ferral round the garden with very few clothes on!) and hadn't got a bag with their stuff ready to go, it would be typical that we got there and one had an accident and needed a change of clothes, our GPs surgery isn't very child friendly in the waiting room and I usually need to take things to keep them occupied, TBH I am struggling to look after them at home the way I am feeling, let alone in a waiting room full of others who feel crap and don't want kids running around. Sorry I think that is a very long sentance with not enough punctuation in it.

I have tried to grit my teeth Bellstar, I have had this bloody thing for days now and am struggling to breathe my chest feels so congested. I need to get it shifted as I start a new job on Monday and can't face the thought of phoning in sick on my first day.

As it was I missed my appointment, DH turned up at 5.50, so much later than the 5.00 he said this morning. He is now grumpy because I am upset with him and can't understand why I can't get another appointment, I really am so frustrated with him. It doesn't help that all this week he has slept in whilst I have been up at 6 doing packed lunches, getting the children ready for school etc etc despite telling him how I am feeling. God I am wallowing in self pity this evening arent I!

now tigermoll has made me cry by being too nice....no one can win with me today!

No, it sounds like he has not shown you enough love or care.

Could you get an early appointment before he goes into work?

I wouldn't bother going to the gp for flu. It will get better on its own, it just takes time. Going to all that effort to wait around at the surgery with the dc and you'll be told to go home and rest!

Stick the tv on for the dc and try and rest as much as you can.

Bellstar my friend was like that, bet her dh wished he'd not been quite so inflexible when she kept buying over the counter stuff and wound up collSpsing in front of the children and hospitalised with pneumonia. He told her the doc would do nothing and to grin and bear it

(and yes I would've helped but she is too far away)

Why the fuck is he sleeping in every morning while you do everything? Why is he doing that ordinarily, let alone when you're ill?

Anyone on flexitime is NOT in a high pressure job either imo.

Erm - if you are so poorly why are you getting up and letting him seep in?

All this week he has slept in while you've been up sorting the kids out even though you've been ill? He sounds like a bit of a selfish git tbh.

Hope you feel better soon, I'm not surprised you're upset.

Sleep, obviously!