fecking homeopathy

[fber]

Dh is a homeopathy nut. Little bloody sugar pills doled out left and right to the kids for this and that. I am a homeopathy 'non believer', but I see these pills as being so ineffective as to be completely harmless so I don't bother too much. However when our youngest had scarlet fever, I had to draw the line and out came the antibiotics.

That was ok, as I have equal say in how the kids are treated. However....

Dh has a recurrent problem. An abscess on his, er, posterior. He has had this before and left it untreated (sorry, he treated it with homeopathic remedies) and eventually I think he burst the bloody thing himself. Anyway, the whole process was painful for all involved, excrutiating for him actually, and lasted over two weeks.

It's back, this abscess. And this time it's making him ill. He's lying in bed, clearly in a lot of pain, but refusing to let me take him to the docs for some antibiotics and to discuss surgery. I've looked into the implications of these things and the complications are pretty nasty. One thing my research has turned up is that that they will keep coming back, they never go away unless surgically dealt with. He says that this is out of the question, he will treat it himself.

My point is this: It's his life and his body, BUT, We have a struggling business, 3 kids, I have a busy job and am self employed so don't get paid for time off. I think he is being selfish by allowing himself to suffer and putting himself out of action unnecessarily. He could go and get some drugs, get on a list for surgery, and be rid of the problem for good and we could all get on with it. As it stands, I have an out of action dh who is not attending to a business that is struggling to make ends meet, and 3 kids and a job to cope with all because he won't go to a fucking proper doctor.

Am I being unreasonable?

Is it a pilonidal cyst? They are agony and he's being quite silly not to get it check out and treated properly. I have read about people getting blood poisoning by just leaving it. What I don't get is how people can look into how homeopathy is supposed to work, and then carry on believing in it. It's absolute nonsense. YANBU. He could potentially make himself very ill by not getting it treated properly.

YADNBU, sometimes these abscesses need surgical drainage then packing every couple of days for weeks to help them heal from the inside out. Even if it bursts/he bursts it, it may just leave a hole which will simply become infected and cause an even bigger problem if not managed properly. It sounds like your DH may be scared (understandably) and using homeopathy as an excuse to not deal with the 'problem'.

YANBU
My Father had a big infected cyst on his back, it made him feel really ill and my mum was draining it and dressing it for months, even with antibiotics.

He needs to go to the doctors.

It's to early in the morning for my opinion on homeopathy, MN doesn't need that many rude words before breakfast!

Yanbu. Fine to be a martyr but not when it starts affecting the rest of your family and their well being.

YANBU. He tried the homeopathy, fair enough, it didn't work (well of course it didn't!) so now time to try something that will work. He is being a fool.

YANBU - agree with all the above. He needs to get it sorted out properly.

Do you think you could approach him with the logic that this is a surgical problem rather than a medical one, and whilst homeopathy is very good at the medical (clearly you'll be lying but with good reason) a surgical issue needs a tradditional doctor?

You may already have done this, but no point telling him homeopathy is a load of crap it would probably just make most people dig their heals in further.

Good luck.

Yanbu

Is he under the 'care' of a homeopath, or does he treat himself? I 'd think any quack homeopath would recommend he sees a doctor in this instance; they're usually quite sharp on protecting themselves from accusations of negligence.
He obviously should see a doctor, and I wish you luck with forcing persuading a stubborn man to do so.
I know it sticks in the craw, but could you get him to phone the homeopath he uses (assuming he's seen one at some point)? I'm pretty sure they'd be of the same mind as yourself.

Leave the barstard

YANBU

Do you think he may have Hidradenitis suppurativa? My DSIL gets it in her groin and it's very painful - she had the last attack drained and packed. It's when the sebaceous glands get blocked and cause a major infection. Popping it just makes it worse as it closes over again and re-infects. Men often get it on their bums, usually at the top of the bum crack, but could be anywhere. It can also if left untreated cause major blood poisoning, fever and death.
Get him to the Drs asap, seriously.

Remind him that homeopathy is 'complimentary' medicine and should be used along side 'proper' medicine.

Shotgun has a point, you may have to do the unthinkable and call a homeopath [sad ] but this is desperate.

Like furrys approach. Also he could use some sugar pills homeopathic remedies to speed the medical side of things when he has had his surgery (ie GE doesn't have to ditch his principles).

I used homeopathy along side medicine when ds was little. It definitely shouldn't be one or the other but used alongside each other.

This is a prime example that unless you have a homeopath at your beck and call and practically living on your doorstep you can't just rely on it.

I don't get all the antipathy towards homeopathy.

The placebo effect is nature's gift to humankind. And no side effects!

But obviously in this instance it's completely fucking useless and the OP's dh needs their head arse examining.

OP - you may need to stage an intervention. Make him a doctors appointment and cry and beg him to go.

lilibut

Can you remind him that homeopathy is a complimentary medicine, i.e. it should be used alongside more modern medicine to achieve optimum results?

YANBU. Get your local GP to do a home visit. It's one thing to ignore your partner's advice, quite another to reject a medical expert.

Exactly what valiumredhead said. I love homeopathy but it should never be 'instead of' westerm medicine. Ever. It should be along side.

If he really believed in homeopathy he should know this. Does he have a feae of doctors/hospital/surgery?

YADNBU.

Tell him he could actually die and ask him if he loves his sugar pill quackery woo bollocks more than his family.

YANBU. I ended up rushed into hospital with a quinsey (don't ask, it's gross) at the age of 14 as my Mum got me 'treated' homeopathically for tonsillitus. So instead of a moderate dose of antibiotics, I ended up in isolation ward with antibiotics pumped into my arm for several days. I still bear a grudge!
Homeopathy has it's place, but it isn't for treating acute medical conditions.

My husband has this he had to have it operated on , they can be quite dangerous especially if its near the spine gp said , Dh has had it again but anti BS cleared it up , imo His pills and potions wont clear it up , alternative medicine has its place but it has to run along side conventional sciencey medicine imo , try and talk some sense into him ,

He is being bonkers. If you're going to take charge of your own health like this then you have to get clued up, not spend your life invested in some sort of ignorant belief system; always a dangerous position to be in.

So he likes homeopathy but actually knows very little about its basic precepts, and yet somehow feels he can prescribe for others too. Sorry, it makes me cross when people behave like this.

Call the doctor, he's in a bad state which could lead to really serious consequences and I'm afraid you're going to have to over-ride him.