controlled feeding keeping neighbours awake.

[tiredneighbour]

I hope someone on here can give me some advice. My neighbours have a one year old baby (sweetness and light during day light hours!), they have been trying since september 2011 to get him to not want feeding between the hours of 10pm and 4.30am.
It's not working and we have spent the last 2 months sleeping in our living room, the furthest point from his very loud and angry screaming. He screams for an hour around midnight, then for 2-2 1/2 hours between half one/two am most nights. Meaning we lose about 3 to 4 hours sleep...
We have had a gentle chat with her about how she's doing, trying not to make things worse for her (it sounds like hell from our side of the wall, it must be beyond that for them), letting her know that we have moved into the living room. We talked about a friend who takes her baby into her bed when it cries, hoping to raise the subject of moving junior into another room, but she is very focused that her baby will sleep in its own room and be fed at her convience.
Since our chat a few weeks ago nothing has changed and the baby has been brought downstairs many times. We're considering moving into the shed now the weather is warmer!
Any ideas on how to approach this? we don't want to fall out with them (we really like them), but feel we're at a point where our lives are being compromised.

The toddlers don't need milk at night it's just comfort always raises an eyebrow with me- probably as I have a thirteen month old going through a stage of drinking 400mls of milk overnight (in two sessions), regardless of her day time calorie intake.

Plus if they want comfort, why not give it.

I work full time, as does DH, and still getting up at night is a killer but much better than having a screaming child keeping everyone awake.

Have you been very clear with your neighbour that you can hear their son? I only ask because my neighbour is adamant after DD has had a bad night teething or ill that they didn't hear her when I go round to apologise for the disturbance.

Sorry odd last paragraph- meant to say I think they can hear her and are being polite/don't want to add to a difficult situation.

Yep. One of those stubborn babies that won't "give up". He still thinks that the people who love him might actually come and look after him.

Deluded fool. Sooner or later he'll learn that life's not like that.

We don't actually know the baby is being ignored - the OP can't see through walls.

I feel for you, my neighbours are noisy and their baby hasn't even been born yet. Our walls are made out of cornflakes boxes. I used to wear earplugs but can't now with a 6 month old.
You have to say something for your family's well being.

Poor baby :( Fair enough if they want to nightwean, but it clearly isn't working. How some people can leave a baby to scream for 3 hours every night for months is beyond me. Maybe there is something else wrong and he needs comfort, maybe some nights he is teething, maybe he isn't eating enough in the day. Nothing wrong with needing "just" comfort, they are so little after all. It actually makes me angry to think that some people would put the guidelines (i.e a baby doesn't need feeding at night after 6 months) above the cues their baby is giving. I've never heard about controlled feeding before reading this thread, if it's controlled it doesn't mean it's ok though.

OP, before doing anything else, I would speak with your neighbours very openly and tell them this is not on as it's been going on for months. I guess it all depends on their atttitude, if they are trying to soothe the baby but it's not working it's obviously not the same as if they're just ignoring him. Either way, he should be seen by a GP, screaming for so long for months means there is definitely something wrong, maybe he is in pain.

if the op does say something it might not be taken well as she doesn't have children of her own and could look like criticism.

maybe the way to go is tell her that your not getting any rest at all. and out of sympathy she may respond positively.

as for the baby it may be screaming being rocked or soothed. the way they are going about getting the child to sleep is not working. but what can the op really do?

i hope it gets better for you op

I agree that you need to make sure that she knows that you have had to move to sleep in the lounge and that you are disturbed every night. If it really has been six months, then it is time for action.

Poor thing is probably demented with tiredness, but it sounds as though she needs to try a different approach and this might be the catalyst.

Poor you too, OP. Poor baby most of all.