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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you take offence at comment from so called friend?

64 replies

Tania3376 · 26/03/2012 14:54

My mate is well off. Husband working in a city job, she works too in a well paid accountancy role. Her children wear Boden, and Monsoon and she does too. She makes a big deal when she buys their seasonal wardrobes each year and we all know about it.

I don't have much money. We're on a budget. She keeps calling me the bargain hunter when we go out together. We had a shopping trip recently and she brought another friend along and they wanted to shop in house of frazer and white stuff. I went in primark and h and m, and when we'd been in their shops and went into my shops she kept saying lets go into bargain hunter's shops now. I found some reduced clothes for my DD for the summer in primark and she kept saying look what the bargain hunter's got, oh you are really good at looking for bargains, we haven't got the time or inclination have we? to her other friend.

She has also made digs at me before because I shop at Asda and not waitrose or sainsburys, saying again she wishes she had the time and inclination to go round all the cheaper shops.

Is she being a bitch?

OP posts:
AutumnSummers · 26/03/2012 16:22

People who stand on others to make themselves feel taller aren't worth another moment of your time. She seems to take great plaesure in bringing you down and I'm wondering if it's really just about the money. Do you know something shameful about her and she's trying to make you look bad in front of others? Are you generally happier in life than her?

The thing is, she's probably not well thought of among the people she puts you down infront of. People tolerate this tuff for nicety's sake but it wears thin.

Hope she and boden are very happy together.

MardyArsedMidlander · 26/03/2012 16:23

I also like designer labels. But I buy mine in charity shops and on ebay. Because only someone with more money than sense would pay full price for themk.

Frontpaw · 26/03/2012 16:23

Oh dear. How fortunes change on the spin of a coin. I have seen a few like her end up living in a tiny flay with a small % of their previous earnings due to redundance/divorce/illness...

With people like her, I just wonder how they would cope if their DH lost his job/posting/left... and realise folk like her would crumble, as their worth definately seems to be tied in with their bank balance.

If you want to keep her as a friend... tell her (like JustHecate said), if you dont value her friendship, back off.

McHappyPants2012 · 26/03/2012 16:24

she sounds like a snob.

queenrollo · 26/03/2012 16:24

I am in the fortunate position of having a DH who earns a good salary. But in the past I was in the position of counting every penny.
Some of my friends are still in that position and I would never be crass enough to make the sort of comments your 'friend' makes.

CremeEggThief · 26/03/2012 16:27

And you need her in your life, because...?

CockyPants · 26/03/2012 16:28

Come shopping with me instead, OP!

Tell your frenemy that money cannot buy class.

Also you should be flattered that she has so little going on in her life that she has to obsess about you and your shopping habits!

badtasteflump · 26/03/2012 16:32

I would take offence at her, full stop.

She doesn't want you as a friend, she just wants someone to talk down to. Let her do it to someone else Smile

HugADalek · 26/03/2012 16:36

New friend pronto. What is the point in a completely offensive friend? Where are the positives? Why are you her friend if all she does is makes comments that make you feel bad?

Spuddybean · 26/03/2012 16:49

She sounds horrid - there is no way you can say stuff like that without knowing how unpleasant it is. Don't shop with her again and if she asks why just tell her, 'you make me feel like crap going on about money, it's really common to talk about how much things cost and i prefer to spend my time with classier, nicer people who make me feel good about myself'.

And if you live anywhere near Milton Keynes come shopping with me! I love a good bargain Wink

aquashiv · 26/03/2012 16:54

A fool and their money are easily parted always springs to mind.

Good luck to her if it makes her happy.

Floggingmolly · 26/03/2012 16:55

She is being a total bitch, but you were a bit daft to go shopping with her and her cronies and not foresee this kind of thing. She obviously has form for belittling you - why do you still consider her a friend? I wouldn't.

NinjaChipmunk · 26/03/2012 16:55

You really don't need to be spending precious moments of your life being friends with this woman. She sounds shallow and callous as does her friend. I bet you are worth ten times what she is as a friend. A real friend does not judge on the terms that she appears too.

Laambkins · 26/03/2012 16:59

Oooh - Naasty! I wouldn't be too pleased,

I don't think I'd call someone who spoke to me like that a friend, I'm afraid.

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