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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say no to my idea of hell.

76 replies

deemented · 26/03/2012 12:52

Five Children. Manshapes ex. One caravan. For a whole week.

I did it last year, although with only four kids as i was pregnant, but that was enough. I was very very glad to come home.

I dont want to do it again.

OP posts:
BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 26/03/2012 14:04

In an ideal world, not. Allow me, though, to quote from Tolstoy

"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way"

2rebecca · 26/03/2012 14:26

I am divorced but do not regard my family as unhappy. You can be an unhappy nuclear family, to me happiness is not related to your marital state.

lisad123 · 26/03/2012 14:33

Just because she manages the other 51 weeks, why should she have to do it on holiday too. How about you take him on holiday with you and let her have a week off.

JuliaScurr · 26/03/2012 14:37

Vicar Yes!!! Do it! Report back on his and her reactions. Pleeeeeease.

2rebecca · 26/03/2012 14:39

I agree that it seems odd that the OP's husband doesn't have his son to stay at all. Autistic kids don't like change, but if he stayed with his dad regularly he'd get used to it.

deemented · 26/03/2012 14:55

Woah, woah woah.... who said we don't have him to stay at all? We have him every single weekend and every holiday. Last summer we had him six out of the seven weeks. He's a part of our family and we have him or see him whenever we can. So she does have breaks away from him.

I would dearly love to be able to take him on holidays with us, but the simple fact is, we cannot afford to go on holiday at all. And, if i'm honest, a week in a caravan in Porthcawl is not my idea of a holiday even if we could afford it.

Instead, we go on special days out - to local farms, the beach, the lido, the park etc. We just haven't enough money to go on holiday.

Manshapes ex did suggest at one point that she would give manshape the vouchers and we could go and book somewhere and go without her, and that would have been fine, but now she's changing the goalposts because she wants to bring her grandchildren (not manshapes) on holiday too.

Yes, i'll be honest, i do have problems with her. She has been manipulative towards both manshape and her son, she is vindictive and money grabbing and a deeply unpleasant woman - she once spat at my youngest son - and i try to avoid her at all costs.

The poster who asked what was so bad about the holiday last year - she refused to lift a finger to clean up after herself, wouldn't even lift a cup to the sink, wouldn't cook and expected me to do it all. I asked her at one point as she wasn't going swimming if she could sit next to my youngest in his buggy whilst i took my toddler daughter in the pool for half an hour and she said no. TBH it was no holiday for me at all.

OP posts:
hobnobsaremyfavourite · 26/03/2012 15:00

Dee don't do it Grin
This thread is like the worst game of chinese whispers I have ever seen ! Why are people making assumptions about the OP with absolutely no basis in fact??

Maryz · 26/03/2012 15:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HillyWallaby · 26/03/2012 15:09

How bizarre! Assuming you are absolutely ok with manshape spending the week in close proximity to his ex, I'd say do what Maryz said, and have yourself the week off - just you and baby.

doctordwt · 26/03/2012 15:09

Say absolutely NO WAY.

And after your update, I'd be pointing out to your Manshape that it might be better for EVERYONES relationships if she offered the vouchers to a friend with children.

2rebecca · 26/03/2012 15:13

You said you didn't have him to stay by saying you wondered how she managed the other 51 weeks of the year in your second post, which implied she had him all the other weeks.
She has grown up children so sounds as though she could get someone else to help look after her son. I don't see why you are even contemplating going. I would refuse.

HillyWallaby · 26/03/2012 15:13

OMG Dee just read your last post. she sounds lovely. Hmm Just say no. It's up to manshape whether he wants to go or not but he is certainly not obliged to go with them at all.

Maryz · 26/03/2012 15:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoubleNegativePanda · 26/03/2012 15:16

Wtf? She spat on your child? That on its own would be me putting my foot down, no WAY would I go on holiday with that person. Add the rest of you last post and it's completely without question. No.

HillyWallaby · 26/03/2012 15:18

Why did she spit at your son? Shock

I sometimes think I inhabit a completely parallel universe to some of the people on here. Things happen to people on her that I have never seen/heard in the world I inhabit in all my 46 years.

You now some really odd/vile people, some of you. Grin

TubbyDuffs · 26/03/2012 15:19

After your last post, I am amazed that your husband would even consider doing it again! Is he mad, blind or just plain forgetful?

Run for the hills I say!

ThatVikRinA22 · 26/03/2012 15:23

stick to your guns Dee! just dig those heals in nice and firm and say no as many times as you need to!

Strawbezza · 26/03/2012 15:23

In that case YANBU. On the strength of your last paragraph from your 14:55 post alone. Backed up by all the other paragraphs!

Can't believe Manshape is even entertaining the idea, based on what went on last year.

AnyFucker · 26/03/2012 15:25

just

say

no

no is a full sentence, remember ?

Snowboarder · 26/03/2012 15:28

Just say NO Dee. Goodness me, I can't believe you would entertain the idea at all, although I appreciate you are trying to do the best for your DSS and DH.

A week of back to back root canals, driving tests and barium enemas sounds preferable!

Maryz · 26/03/2012 15:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stratters · 26/03/2012 15:32

Another NO from me too. It's highly inappropriate, even more so if you don't go (and who the fuck would want to, particularly with a baby).

AwkwardMary · 26/03/2012 15:40

I think you are a blinking saint for being so understanding! Not many would be happy with this!

AnAirOfHope · 26/03/2012 15:43

I would not go but i would suggest DH go with your kids too and you stay home with the baby. After that he might not want to go next year.

picnicbasketcase · 26/03/2012 15:45

Having to make polite conversation with DP's ex makes me want to go and hide so an actual holiday.. thud There's no way you should do this and she is being incredibly unfair by getting the children all hyped up about it before you've even been consulted.