Brief back story- we have always been very close- same age, same school, shared a flat in London and Sydney. Once out of our 20s our lives took different paths. I have married, had children and while proud of my career have fitted it in among family. My cousin has not married and has had a stellar corporate career. She works hard and rewards herself with great holidays, fancy cars etc. I think our values have really diverged - I feel she is always talking about money and how much things cost. She probably thinks I am suburban and boring.
Over the last few years she has been writing a PhD thesis in a personal development/business crossover field.. Much of it has been researched and written by a friend of hers whom she pays for her time. My cousin also pays for each chapter to be edited which includes all the references and footnoting.
I am really horrified about this. I do not have a doctorate but have considered it a few times and am still seared by how hard my husband worked to write his. I probably am being U and know I am being judgey. It just irritates me that my cousin is so proud of herself when she has done it like a corporate project and outsourced the actual work!
A couple of years ago she threatened to sue her university on the grounds that her supervisor was inadequate. They are clearly terrified of her and will pass anything she hands in. She is very powerful and high profile.
I have to learn to let it go and be pleased for her as she has had a number of recent blows in life. But oooh it is hard!