AIBU to think East Coast trains are not child-friendly?

[seoladair]

I've previously booked passenger assistance several times to help me change trains when travelling alone with baby in pram, big suitcase, changing bag and handbag. The staff have been kind and helpful, and so have the people at the end of the phones when I've made the booking.

I recently got through to a jobsworth though, who said that I can't book help as the baby isn't disabled. It doesn't make sense to me - I won't be able to change platforms on my own. I physically will not be able to get from one train to the next, especially in the limited time available between trains.

East Coast is not some budget company - the train ticket between London and Scotland costs about £120, and I believe our trains are the most expensive in Europe. At these silver service prices, why can't I book help? In the past I have been helped while disabled passengers have also been helped, so I don't think it's to do with staff availability.

I think I will have to travel by plane in future, which is a shame as I'd rather take the environmentally friendly option of going by train, but with the plane, I know I'll get the help I need.

BTW when I was pregnant and tried to book help with luggage with Scotrail, they refused on the basis that getting pregnant was my lifestyle choice. That attitude oesn't help much when you need to travel alone somewhere.....

wonderful post BoffinMum.

The thing is, it's not the case that everyone else manages - some people simply don't travel as a result.

It's not unreasonable that a basic bit of help should be available for people travelling with small children and a lot of luggage, because it is difficult.

That said, I've just got back from travelling to France with dh, disabled MIL and three small children, and it's been very heartwarming how many people have offered to help as soon as they saw how full our hands were. Also, prebooked passenger assistance is pretty unreliable in MIL's experience but Plan B (asking for help) has never let her down yet. She really can't cope without help but she's happy to travel trusting that someone will help her.

I am due to travel Scotland to London and back with my three at Easter God help me.At Haymarmet changing platforms is a bit tricky but look helpless and someone will help maybe even the announcer with the lovely French accent

Otherwise - I use a backpack and a trolley suitcase. I keep wipes, nappies, snacks available in back pack with changes of clothes and activities.

I have never booked help but have to admit that after Glasgow to London on west coast I had to lie down for several hours. Dd1 was sick on a table and a Japanese tourist and it was very, very hot, crowded and some old bag had claimed our reserved seats for her and her elderly mother

I always go East Coast if I can. I think it's better than West Coast.

Agree West Coast is worse!

I was on Virgin West Coast last weekend and I couldn't fault it.

One day customer service will become fashionable again and then people will become civilised again .

Change at Waverley instead of Haymarket - the steps at Haymarket are a pain and I'm not sure of the lift situation. If you are coming up the East Coast there should be no reason not to change at Waverley - lots more people will get off there so more helpers, the train will probably sit for 10 minutes or so there anyway There should be no steps and if so there will be a lift - if it is not working then you can definitely in your rights to ask for assistance - though prob a fellow passenger will carry your bag for you.

Tbh you are coming across a bit needy - why not have a buggy and a big sports back. At change time put the baby in a sling and pile the bag on the buggy where the baby would sit - hey presto you have your own trolley!

A bit of lateral thinking is what is required.

Theres a lot of "use this, use that" being said...have those people stopped to consider that OP may not have those things available, I know I havent got " a sling" and wouldnt be willing to buy one just for a train journey plus her DC may be to heavy to ride in one, i know my youngest wouldnt be able too. The same with the bag..my children come with a lot of baggage..If I were going away any longer that a day with them a sports bag wouldnt cut it, I would need a case!

Shes asking for advice not a rundown of her lateral thinking skills and which baby equipment she owns

A trolley suitcase isn't difficult. It's all I use. And a rucksack.

Quite right.

"Tbh you are coming across a bit needy"

It's a train journey, not a personality test

PMSL

I can think of many replies to that, including, but not limited too
youre coming accross as a bit of a .......

OP if you post on the local board I'm sure you could get a posse of MNers to meet you and help you to the next train!

(Except for the ones who think you should do everything yourself as a badge of honour, of course)

They might tut at you and hand you a sling, though...

I travel with East Coast loads - Aberdeen to Kings Cross and back and have never ever had a problem.

I have always had excellent service from them, especially when travelling with 3 young children, luggage and a cat, they couldn't have been more helpful, polite and friendly.

Due to travel again over Easter and I'm really looking forward to it and if you book early enough you can get tickets as cheap as chips...They just did a deal for all first class tickets at £25 which is just an amazing bargain.

a number of posters have suggested "buggy folded up in one hand or piled with stuff, bags in the other..." if you do that, how do you hold onto a toddler who might take a huge and sudden interest in the trains / platform edges etc. Lots of stations have no lifts so you can't strap toddler in buggy. My 10m old is too big for her sling now. Not sure how I would do that journey with her and DS who is 2.5. I think its incredibly sad that the industry seems to feel there are criteria for help and if you don't qualify you should just get on with it. The OP could do various things but for whatever reasons, she wants / needs to travel by train carrying those things - what a crap place we live in if she can't (when paying a lot of money) expect a bit of help with a tricky transfer. Additionally, I know from previous threads that the whole 'you might get other passengers to help" idea will go down badly too. The whole idea of just being a bit helpful so to make someone's life easier seems to have died a death and it makes me

Come on, all you have to do is ask and people are usually really nice. Seriously.

Live on London boff?

Well, I did for a huge proportion of my life, and commuted with young baby in tow at one point, all the way down the District Line to the West End.
I was perpetually amazed what people would do to help me with the buggy. One bloke actually used to spot me, travel with me, and deliver me to my destination at the other end. Kindness itself.

Witty - I travelled across London twice recently with DS (3 yo) DD (6 mo) pushchair, case and changing bag. I was offered help by fellow passengers, train staff (unprompted) and a taxi driver. I didn't try to look especially helpless I think but generally, people are not arseholes who will let you struggle needlessly.

Thank you, BoffinMum . I get really tired of the macho mothers on these threads, always ready to pop up and berate some poor struggling woman for not being able to negotiate stairs, buses, whatever with babies, toddlers, buggies and luggage balanced on her skull. Would they similarly hector an older person who isn't, in their view, old enough to qualify as frail? Would they have a go at someone who was a bit unwell, but not disabled, and needed a bit of extra support? What on earth is wrong in just wanting a decent world in which people put themselves out a bit for each other?

One of the most wonderful things about having a baby has been discovering how helpful and kind complete strangers are (and that includes train staff.) However, I'm nervous about relying on it, and do feel that it's not too much to ask for some help from the train company when changing train. East Coats presumably felt this was fair too, given that they have always been happy to book help for me in the past few months.

Sorry if I seem needy Given that members of the public are so helpful and chivalrous when I'm out and about with baba, it seems that it's a societal norm to help mums with babies (and thanks heavens for that, whataver East Coast trains policy advisers might think.)

By the way, I have a weak back after pregnancy, and using a sling doesn't work for me - I've tried it. I will try the backpack idea though, but not when I travel tomorrow, as I don't have one.

Devora, when I see what those mums post one thing goes through my head - it's feminism gawn mad. The point of women becoming liberated was not to struggle alone, methinks. No woman is an island. And are these same women going to shun other people they think ought to be coping alone? Personally speaking I help all sorts of people with all sorts of things when out and about, even the menz. Why wouldn't you? If you have a spare hand, or a bit of time, or whatever, it makes life more pleasant for everyone. Call me old fashioned, but I think those women are being pretty daft.

I also think asking for help is a way of connecting with other people, as is offering it, and we are all part of one big human family and should practice loving kindness whenever we can.