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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think some people dramatise everything?

93 replies

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 25/03/2012 13:57

A woman I've come into contact with via the school seems to make everything into a drama. She has two girls; one is 5 and one is 2. Her mum comes round every single morning to look after the 2 year old as it's 'not possible' to do the school run (to a school a 2 minute walk away) with 2 children.

If her children have a cold, she says it's flu. If they are sick once, they have 'gastrointeritis'. She talks about her labours with both girls and said they were so traumatic and painful even though from what else she has said they just sound like normal labours. She said there was 'no time' for an epidural with her youngest DD yet she was in hospital for 12 hours in labour before having her. She volunteers all this information btw. The mum had back pain the other week, just a lower back pain from picking up her youngest but when she picked up her eldest from school that day she was saying how the doctor had told her to come into the surgery for a very urgent appointment. Everything is dramatic.

AIBU to think some people dramatise normal everyday things? Why the flip do people do this?

OP posts:
Mrsjay · 25/03/2012 15:18

I have to say i am fighting a loosing battle with dd2 at themoment with her dramatics Blush everything is drama and I am constantly on at her to calm down , sigh I do hope she doesnt turn out to be one of those people Hmm

oiwheresthecoffee · 25/03/2012 15:37

My mums just like this. Sadly i do think shes slightly unwell in that respect. I often feel sorry for her because she really cant help it and she is that stressed over nothing.

MrsKittyFane · 25/03/2012 15:42

cogito: Why? Attention-seeking. 'Crying Wolf'. Their life is so boring they have to big it up with exaggeration. As in the fable, it works well until there's a genuine crisis and no-one takes them seriously any more.
So true.
My Aunt has done this all her life. Unfortunately she now has something big to worry about :( and the strange thing is, she has gone really quiet. Doesn't say a word about it now.
I think it has taken her by surprise as her whole life was always one big, massive drama/ crisis/ hardship/ illness... Or so she thought. Very sad :(

lottielou39 · 25/03/2012 15:46

I worked with someone like this once. Every little thing was an issue and she had health issues all the time, despite looking fit as a fiddle and being able to run around socialising all the time. I remember one day her mentioning to a mutual friend that she wasn't well again- we exchanged looks, off she went again. I'm not sure how she got it into the conversation, but our mutual friend mentioned that she'd recovered from cancer a few years previously. And we'd had no idea that she'd even had cancer because that was the very first time she'd ever mentioned it. The hypochondriac friend shut up very quickly after that!

AKMD · 25/03/2012 16:03

YANBU, people like this are boring beyond belief. My SIL FB friend goes on and on about every ailment she, her DC and her DH have ever had, complete with slapped-bum-face photos with 'shocking' taglines of woe and the worst bits SPELT OUT IN CAPITALS LIKE THIS. If nothing much is going on she will fill the time with posting lovey-dovey messages on her DH's wall Envy No one else ever has it as hard as her (you have a headache? Oh, I've got a brain tumour...) and she is the most competitive parent I have ever had the misfortune to interact with. Our DC are a month apart and once my DS could say 'dada' her DS was speaking in sentences. Of course Hmm Grrrr...

Ahem.

Original poster
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 25/03/2012 16:39

Actually come to think of it the woman I know is quite a competitive parent too. My DS is almost a whole year older than her 2 year old DD but she constantly tries to compare them and appears genuinely put out when DS does things her DD can't do.

OP posts:
ISpyPlumPie · 25/03/2012 17:00

I went out with a boy when I was a teenager who had a mum exactly like this. Everything she had to do was a complete trauma (although she actually did v little iirc), every slight pain was a complex medical condition and as for her accounts of childbirth....(Looking back with hindsight though this might have been to deter us from getting up to no good Grin)

Am also getting slightly concerned I may have married one after DH just informed me that he'd "taken a chunk" out of his hand, which was on inspection in fact a tiny graze.

AKMD · 25/03/2012 17:04

DH is a little bit of a hypochondriac but not anything like as bad as his sister. A few weeks ago he came hopping out of the shower clutching his foot, moaning that he needed to go to the doctor asap and he had a terrible fungal infection. On closer inspection, the 'fungal infection' was a flake of Special K. Oh how I laughed.

Lueji · 25/03/2012 17:13

My grandmother is a bit like that.
Everything is such a drama that she has fights with most people she knows.

But she is also ill all the time, and not likely to reach her next birthday.
So ill, in fact, that god knows how she has reached 101 and still manages to annoy everyone around her. :o

TheBigJessie · 25/03/2012 17:39

How do you nominate for quote of the week? I refer to AKMD's post about the Special K.

fuzzpig · 25/03/2012 17:51

at Special K

StealthPolarBear · 25/03/2012 18:01

i'm a bit like this, not so much with the drama but I do overreact if the DC are ill, and I don't like doing things where it might all go wrong and I might struggle - so things like the school run with a 2yo, not that exact example but I'm sure i have done similar. I also constantly winge that I am really busy and stressed. I genuinely find things hard that other people seem to sail through.

Glittertwins · 25/03/2012 18:11

Special K!! Fab!
Got one here, someone pulled out of a children's party as she couldn't manage with two children as her DH would't be there. One child is nearly 4, the other nearly 2 and both were invited anyway.

carabos · 25/03/2012 18:12

BiL and SiL are like this. They are at the doctors every week over something - broken nail, bad haircut, bad dream, you name it they're there. Sad to say that BiL actually has some real health problems, but for all the time he spends at the docs, he won't do as he's told and cut down the booze, lose weight, get more exercise.

skybluepearl · 25/03/2012 18:15

do you know - giving birth can actually be dramatic. it's not always a walk in the part, although it must have been for you.

how nice she has her mum to help her do the school run - it must really make life easier for her. does she have quite an awkward toddler?

it just sounds to me like she is quite sensitive and find small things quite hard at the moment. maybe she has had PND?

i agree that it would be nice if small things weren't a drama. maybe you could try some empathy if you have some or intead saying something positive everytime she says something negative to break the cycle.

tomme · 25/03/2012 18:19

there is a mum at school like this, who complains no one likes her, people avoid her etc. Every now and then I feel sorry for her have a coffee with her or something and spend the entire time thinking Jesus Christ this is why no one spends anytime with you. She is the competitive parent extraordinaire, major drama queen and if she isn't seriously unwell at least once a week one of her dc is.

Never once have I asked how are you and got a positive response, I am in the process of avoiding her again now which makes me feel very guilty but I would gladly throw myself down the stairs than spend time in her company again anytime soon.

SuePurblybilt · 25/03/2012 18:28

Someone once invited herself to my house for coffee one midweek morning and told me she'd be bringing her husband as she couldn't cope alone with her three children.
My face must have put her off as in the end she turned up without him. I've nowt against husbands but would you bring the entire family to play uninvited ?
They weren't babies either. Baffling. She is SO BUSY and frequently tells me how lucky I am not to be SO BUSY like her.

1944girl · 25/03/2012 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 25/03/2012 18:39

skybluepearl I think it's very rude of you to assume you know what my birth experiences were like. Actually no, they weren't all easy and a walk in the park and one was a very emergency situation. I don't make a big drama over it all though.

OP posts:
Original poster
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 25/03/2012 18:40

SuePurblyBilt, she sounds annoying. I hate the whole competitive business thing. People that can't seem to cope with everyday things tell themselves that they are simply 'busier than others'

OP posts:
Original poster
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 25/03/2012 18:42

That should have said busy-ness ;-)

OP posts:
flippinada · 25/03/2012 19:05

You know there is actually a term for people like this, as it's a recognised 'condition'. They're called catastrophisers.

It stems from low self esteem and thinking deep down that you aren't a worthwhile person.

SuePurblybilt · 25/03/2012 19:09

Catastrophisers? Excellent word.

CMOTDibbler · 25/03/2012 19:11

I have a friend (tbh, its her dh who is really the friend, known him for 20 years) just like this. Everthing is a clamity of the highest nature, and she is a real attention seeker.
More worryingly though, she exaggerates the childrens illnesses (and her own), but tells huge lies to her dh. That have nearly left them homeless

flippinada · 25/03/2012 19:11

I agree that people who catastrophise all the time are very draining to deal with. If there isn't something going on they'll create a drama.