to ask this woman what her problem is with me?

[lottielou39]

I try not to give a shit about school run politics and all that, but when something's in your face and blindingly obvious, you can't easily ignore.
Theres a woman at school. She's always been lovely, friendly, chatty. Over the past year or so, she's gradually gone from chatting to absolutely nothing. Zero. Walks past me without looking, etc, removed from the dreaded Facebook.. I have gone over what I could have possibly done to offend her. I did wonder if I was being paranoid but a couple of weeks ago was chatting to a mutual friend in the playground, who caught the eye of this woman who was standing across the playground. My friend gestured smilingly at this woman to come over, and this friend just shook her head and stayed where she was. My gut feeling was obviously that she wanted to talk to her, but not when she was standing with me. She goes swimming and socialises with this woman, so there's no reason why she wouldn't come over, except the presence of moi. Childish I know, but there it is.
I've become increasingly curious as to what crime I've committed and am half tempted to phone her and ask if I've upset her in some way.
But dh thinks I should just ignore it and smile at her, pretend that nothings happened.
What should I do, and WIBU to ask her WTF I've supposedly done?

This happened to me once at work pre-kids, I racked my brains and the girl I had lunch with every single day suddenly didn't want to anymore.... In the end I realised she had overheard me moaning about her boyfriend to a colleague, in my defense he was a total arse and she did see the light in the end but she felt betrayed that I was talking about it behind her back and I guess I can't really blame her....
There must be some reason?

There's a mum at nursery who blanks me all the time, been going on for over 2 years now, right from the start. And she ignores me at NCT sales when we both help out. She talks to other parents but doesn't acknowledge me if we pass in the corridor.

It's actually quite funny as I always smile or say hello as I've seen this women every week for years but she still blanks me.

Obviously it makes me want to be extra friendly just to wind her up .

Well I've just advised a friend to unfriend some of her contacts on fb because they were all getting het off for not having been invited to her dd's 2nd birthday (FFS). Apparently one idiot friend wrote on some tagged group photo 'see you all at x's party!' and a few others wrote back 'no not been invited...'. And all hell's broken loose. Over a child's 2nd birthday.

Apparently it's the thing that preoccupies these sahm who have nothing better to do!! (very much tongue in cheek! Not having a go at sahm).

Seriously though life's too short. I know it makes no sense and can hurt but really this too will pass.

Noooooo! Not all SAHMs are that bad, are we? Some of us are nice, I hope :)

Perhaps your dd is on a higher reading level than her dd?

The whole school gates thing is rife with paranoia and misunderstandings. A year ago, DS1 got off the school bus and said that X (a girl) had kicked him in the face on the bus. I called X's mum. X's mum spoke to X and it turned out she had kicked him in the face but he was leaning down so it was accidental. But X had not then apologised or anything. X's mum was also a bit off on the phone (see you around etc).
My point is that now I don't really like X or her twin or her mum, purely because I am protective of my child (and the twins have also been mean to DS1 before - eg "we didn't come to your party because we don't like you, not that we were away like my mum said"). I am obviously polite to all of them (have seen them today) but yes, I have no time for any of them. And I realise I am probably being unreasonable but my loyalty is for DS1.
Perhaps there is any equally silly reason for this mum's behaviour?

Ou know what? Ask her, then at least you'll know. Other people could have been making up gossip about you and you'll never know.

Very drastic example, but my mum fell out with her favourite brother because an aunt had said something to her about an incident. Instead of calling him and asking about it, she decided to have nothing to do with him. This lasted 6years until his partner phoned and said he was dying of cancer. She helped nurse him in the end, but what a friggin waste. Life is too short.

I had this happen, too. So everytime she blanked me or did something odd around me, if others were there, I'd say, That's so odd. I have no idea what her problem with me might be. She's forever blanking me.

Turns out I wasn't the only 'victim'. If she's behaving like a sulky 12-year-old to you, trust me, she'll have done some wierd shit to others.

stuff like this is so weird... I know what you mean. One of the mums at DDs school did this to me last year. Her sudden coldness was so obvious. In the end I asked her and she totally denied that she had been ignoring me! She said "Honestly Cherries, what are you on about, I am such a straight forward person"!!! I still have no idea what it was about!

The only thing I have to say about this is how do you know when someone has removed you from facebook?

HillyWallaby I wondered the same thing till this week. You can look at your friends list and see if a certain person is still on it. If they are not and you have not "unfriended them" then they have unfriended you!

Oh ok. well as my friends list is confidently and deliberately small and highly select I can safely say at a glance that no-one has defriended me.

I suppose if you are one of those mad people with several hundred 'friends' then you need never find out you've been culled as it is too exhausting to find out.

too many uses of find out.

Exactly! I do have one RL friend who actually cries and makes a big thing on her status if someone has defriended her! She is a lovely woman but she is SUPER sensitive and I often tell her that I think Fbook is bad for her health!

I've now realised there are actually a total of 3 people who blank me. 2 mums from toddler groups / nursery who ignore me if we pass and XP's best mates GF who can't even bear to smile at me but I think it's because her DP is an arse, the last I knew he was sleeping on the sofa, and she's miserable at being stuck with him.

Maybe I am really horrible

I suddenly stopped talking to a school gate mum (and my neighbour, what's worse) 4 years ago. I never talk about her or give her funny looks, I simply ignore & avoid. Her consistent silence vindicates my conclusion that she is a toxic waste of space because she hasn't the gumption to come ask me why I started blanking her.

tbh, if she would ask, we might hash it out & at least be on civil terms again. But... meh. She obviously doesn't care, fits with all the subtle snubbing she did for years before that. Still happy to gossip with her mates about me, of course (big part why I started blanking her).

ps: have been on other side of this, the mum of DS2's best mate completely blanks me when I try to speak to her (she has never ever been even slightly friendly toward me, although she manages to chat with some others) After a year I got some gossip that she considers herself above everyone, has form for back-stabbing behaviour, and has alienated nearly all the school parents. It was a relief to know it wasn't me, because I was racking my mind trying to figure out what I or DS2 could ever have done.

She is jealous of you, either you have something she wants nice dh/car/house/job/life etc or she thinks that you do.

I'm not sure what I'd do tbh, life's too short? I think its out of order to treat someone the way she's treating you so not worth losing sleep over? Although I can understand why you're curious, a similar thing happened to me once, I never got the bottom of it and ended up just blanking the woman, she was a woman with everything, I was getting divorced and very low at the time too, maybe she was jealous . Who knows, don't think this person deserves your time tbh.