to ask all the skint and struggling people: what would help you the most?

[dreamingbohemian]

I think it's clear that a lot of people are struggling right now. I'm on the thread about parents going without food and it's terrible what some people are going through.

It's also clear that there are a lot of judgmental attitudes, and that the government is not all that interested in tackling the problem.

But you can also see a lot of people are sympathetic and want to help, and are horrified that we are returning to a situation where people have to go without food.

There have been a number of good ideas on that thread, but I thought it might be good to start a new thread to not just talk about the problem, but about how we can all try to do something about it -- whether it's signing petitions, putting pressure on the government, or volunteering or donating in our local communities.

So AIBU to start by asking people who are struggling right now to talk about the top one or two things that would help them out the most? So that we are not focusing our attention on things that might not be the most helpful?

Or, on the flip side, is anyone engaged in anything right now that seems to be helping a lot of people?

I don't want to just be horrified, I want to do something...

Didn't know abou the "for free" section. Have just posted some about some toddler girls coats that need a new home.

Buying double of things, particularly school uniform which can be anonymously donated to the school to pass on

Rather than selling on old baby clothes passing them on and making out you are doing someone a favour.

People claiming child benefit they don't need could buy fruit and veg or tonne and dry food for a food bank or homestart.

Paying double for a school trip to fund someone else.

I should think you will get free eggs. I used to have to force mine on people. I have tools you can have if you can't borrow any. I am really excited for you. Before I moved I had an allotment and it made me so happy anyway i should stop not as I'm going OT

YY - It's been a great help all the friends and family who have passed on children's clothes to us. Most of my children's clothes have arrived in this way Thanks to those who do this thoughtfully and find a good home for things !

I do feel though that not everyone has the personal resources/energy to grow their own vegetables etc. - though fab if you can

There are different varieties of struggling - it's not always only or mainly financial - it could be more emotionally or in relation to health or energy levels etc.

Ds is the eldest grandchild so I end up passing all of his clothes down, which is shit as they all earn more then I do.

Oh gosh, i didn't know about For Free either! thanks!

Do you think MN could do something to call attention to it? It's barely used...

There are 3 issues:

1 - Low wages that don't match the cost of living.

Action: Ask businesses that you use if they pay at least living wage to all their staff.

Write to your MP & campaign for a living wage to be the minimum that one should get in return for work. Amazed that people can be paid less.

1. Lack of good jobs.

1. Benefits levels not being enough to live on. Job seekers allowance is particularly low and does not cover even food and bills. Write to your MP and campaign for levels to be sufficient for essentials.

Challenge bad attitudes to poverty.

I truly believe that attititudes are what need to change. They are what destroys people's self esteem, what makes school uninviting for children living in poverty, discourages many employers from even considering their applications. When you put those together it makes it very difficult if not impossible to pull themselves back out the hole they have been chucked in.

The greatest difference to my life would be dla not being scrapped. And if PIP has to come in, it being fair and assessed properly.

In terms of the general public and what they could do to help, just like people are asking that if someone is poor others shouldn't assume they are bad at budgeting/spend all their money on cigarettes and alcohol, it would be amazing if people could take the time to try to understand things like variable and invisible disabilities. Hate crime against disabled people seems to be going up, fuelled by the gutter press and even, sadly, the government who are putting stories out there about benefit fraud. Don't just assume that because you see a disabled person doing something that they aren't disabled/are a cheat. Sometimes people go out and do things as a once off and then have to spend days/weeks in bed recovering, or have terrible pain the next day. And please sign petitions like Pat's Petition, write to your mp about welfare reform. It does make a difference.

We have got a local Churches Homeless Project - they offer advice to people stuggling with budgeting or finding homewares, and setting people back up in life after losing everything through poverty.

Maybe there is something local to you similar? They are always looking for volunteers and donations. We are clearing out our loft and I have got curtains, nets, duvets, toys, clothes etc etc. When I rang to see if they'd accept it all as donations they almost snapped my hand off! The lady said they compete against people using eBay and selling sites and donations for bigger items are in desperate need.

We got in touch with another Church-run project who were helping out the families who lost everything in the riots / fires in London... there may be projects similar which continue to support those in need if you can find them?

sorry if this has already been said, this is a long thread.

i think a big problem is pride mixed with fear.

I've been at rock bottom, and were slowly re-building things now.

For me the fear of admiting i was failing, and couldnt provide for our whole family was unreal, i was convinced id loose my children. And i also didnt want anyone to know how bad it was.

Im not aware of food banks and so on in my area but myself and dp have gone without rather than face the embarassment of admitting we had nothing.

Theres also the issue of alot of easily accessible schemes beng 'hidden' for example the warm home scheme from british gas, i found it by googling i am cold and cant afford heat, it was a bad day. I applied and had £125 credited to my pre payment meter, thats meant we have an extra £10-15pwk for food, and now weve had a chance to get a few extra tins in the cupboards we adding a few pounds to the meter pwk so if things hit hard again we have a cushion.

when im more together i plan to go into some kind of work helping people who've been where i have, homeless with no information, and then housed to above our means.

im happy to answer any questions anyone has and id love to help raise awareness in any way i can.

I don't know if I'm being a bit dense here, but I have to walk through a shopping mall to get the train home, all the shops shut at 5:30. I know that approx 400-500 people walk this way at about 5:30.

I've never understood why they aren't open later to capture this passing trade, and if open till 8/9 could create jobs for people.

If you had a shift of 12 hours 8 till8 split between 2 parents each covering the others schools runs etc. (I know there was something about this before in the news but can't remember what it was, so that would have to be removed) and more tax breaks for part time workers etc, or just more part time jobs that people can fit around school etc. and businesses to get tax breaks for P/T workers. There will always be jobs for which this will not be suitable but they're are a lot that aren't.

I regularly free share, I am a bit sometime as I get the same person claiming to be just setting up home for the last 2years. To be honest if they are car booting \ebaying it I don't care. If that's the only way they an make some cash great.
Personally if they are going to go through the hassle of that they've earned the cash.

OH asked me to point out that if anyone lives near a Gurdwara, that is a Sikh temple, there is always food there To anyone in need no matter religion, race etc. They view it as you doing them a favour, you have given them the chance to do good. All they would ask is that you don't smoke or drink alcohol on site. Oh and the food will be veggie and very very good.

I think MN needs to promote for free more this is the first I've heard of it. I don't have DC, but I do have decent clothes/ books/ kitchen stuff/ feck I think there's even a duvet or two in the loft.

I found the other thread so depressingly sad.
I have thought about it all day and wished I knew of someone close to me who I could pass on food/baby things/hell, anything that would help in any way.
I name change regularly, so am quite happy to say - I live near York. I feel stupidly privileged now but grew up feeling hungry almost all the time with family friends buying my shoes. Loving parents, zero money. It was grim.
If anyone is brave enough to PM me who lives near, no questions asked I'd help. I have things like a steriliser just sitting around.

state you are so right about these programmes being hidden -- why do they do that??? I'm glad you are doing a bit better now.

Smells that is fascinating to know about the Sikhs.

I wish there were like one website that collects all this information, that people could go to and see everything available instead of having to have the luck to find out about it...

Me too, tell me what you need and I will see what I have in my capacious loft, now I have stopped having babies and so on.

I was on the highest level of DLA at one point, and thanks to Warm Front, I got a new, much more efficient boiler (the old one was 12 years old), all my heating fixed up, lots of safety and general improvement work done on the heating system and two annual safety checks done afterwards as well. It was amazing. This applied to homeowners and also those in rental properties, and they were prepared to do work up to the value of £2000. I don't know if the scheme is still running, but it really was amazing.

Another great thing I had once after leaving an abusive xp was a grant from the Teachers' Benevolent people so I could visit my grandad, who was very ill at the time and we didn't think he was going to make it (he was in Germany).

Once again, I'm late to the party :)

I don't know what could make a difference for me (except perhaps student grants being reintroduced for mature students!), but luckily I live in a great city with lots of resources. Here are a few things that currently make a difference to my life:

1. Subsidised public transport. My city has a "solidarity" rate for it's monthly travel pass, for those earning less than a certain amount and on a sliding scale. I currently pay ?2.30 per month for mine (and the same rate for my 3 kids). This makes a huge difference, especially given the cost of petrol these days, and was the main reason for me moving last year from a nice suburb to an inner-city flat!

1. Subsidised food parcels. My local community centre has recently launched a scheme (in conjunction with various local farmers), offering a fortnightly hamper of fresh, organic, produce (milk, eggs, vegetables) for ?4-?10/fortnight, depending on income (sliding scale). For those who think we live on burgers and chips, you're wrong! I eat healthy balanced meals, but in small servings!

1. Free after-school care. My kids go to school from 8.30-4.30, but there is free care for working families from 7.50-8.30 and from 4.30-5.30. I moved here last summer, as in my previous town, I was paying ?9/hour for after school care!

And here's a heart-warming little tale. This morning at the synagogue I attend, there was a little reception (kiddush) at the end of the service and a lady I only know by sight came up to me and started making smalltalk. She asked how old my kids I are and how I manage, since she knows I'm on a low income. I told her I juggle like most single mums.

She told me she thinks it's great I'm in medical school (her husband is a doctor, don't know about her) and that I'm setting a great example to my daughters. And then she asked me my name and said the next time she goes to the local kosher butcher/Grocer, she will be leaving them a cheque on my behalf, to cover the cost of everything my family needs for the upcoming Passover holiday! I was so moved I could barely speak! In fact I'm almost in tears again now, just thinking about it

You know what? I find it both shocking and incredibly sad that in one of the richest countries on the planet we have to do this at all. I give away stuff I don't need on Freecycle or to the local women's refuge all the time, because I am LUCKY to be someone who can do that and of course I want to help people who aren't as lucky as me because not to help when you could would be horrible, but it is simply appalling that there is such a huge need for basic items when you think about how rich this country is in comparison to the rest of the world. Quite honestly, although I strongly support any kind of urge to help our fellow human beings, I am just aghast at how often this seems to be needed and how much people are doing without through no fault of their own. I feel like we all ought to be rising up in revolution or something - it's not just the people who are going short of food or warmth or something, it's the working families whose wages don't cover the essentials without having to scrimp and save like mad and the people on an average wage who still need tax credits and other kinds of help to make ends meet. The whole thing is just awful. It's people in expensive housing areas who are earning good wages that don't cover their (sensible) outgoings properly. It's people who aren't really doing anything wrong, are working or caring for family members or doing other socially useful stuff and yet still aren't even financially solvent. It's people who cannot feed their children and themselves even when they're doing their very best in horrible situations.

It is obviously great to have a thread like this where we can find out what would be genuinely helpful, because obviously I do want to help in the most useful way, but isn't it just terribly terribly sad that somehow things have got into a situation where normal ordinary people are having to go without to feed their kids when our country is still one of the richest and most advantaged there is?

Sorry, this may be terribly badly put and I certainly don't mean to patronise or upset anyone. I want to help and I do help in the ways that I have open to me. But I am horrified that we need to do this at all. Why can't normal people's wages cover their outgoings properly? To me it seems like the entire system is somehow deeply wrong if this is the case.

Sorry, terribly long and not really what the thread's about, but does anyone else feel like this?

cheaper petrol so that people who DO have jobs can actually afford to get to work. DH and I are both lucky enough to be working at the moment, but he drives a round trip of 70 miles a day and I do 50 miles a day. We spend around £100 a week on petrol, just getting to work and back!
It is getting to the stage where we have to seriously think if we can afford to keep our jobs - our cars are secondhand and repairs are evergrowing. Add in MOT and insurance and we might actually be better off not workng!!

Oh I do Haberdashery.

It would be one thing if everyone were in the same boat, if the whole country had to struggle through, like during the War.

But to see that working people still struggle to make ends meet, while those at the top are getting tax cuts and are legally allowed to avoid paying their full tax bill, and the government is subsidising big business instead of its citizens... well, it's just too much.

It would be one thing if everyone were in the same boat, if the whole country had to struggle through, like during the War.

But to see that working people still struggle to make ends meet, while those at the top are getting tax cuts and are legally allowed to avoid paying their full tax bill, and the government is subsidising big business instead of its citizens... well, it's just too much.

Hear, hear.