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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for shouting piss off to a street fundraisers.

168 replies

misspedantic · 23/03/2012 21:33

I am fed up with these people trying to mug me for my bank account every time I walk out of a shop. Today there was 12 of them along my high street, working for 3 different charities and after being asked how I was or am I having a nice day or have I got a spare minute 7 times, I shouted "PISS OFF". I seriously can't cope with it everyday.

AIBU for wanting to land a drop kick to their heads tell them to leave me alone.

OP posts:
thenightsky · 23/03/2012 23:02

I hate having to go down our high street these days coz of these buggers.

I am a very polite person by nature but I finally cracked this week and said... 'oh just leave me alone for God's sake'.

Kaekae · 23/03/2012 23:05

I hate to say it but I think you were UR because you swore at the person. Like others have said they are only doing their job. However, I totally feel your frustration because I have been on my mobile before and a fundraiser has completely blocked my way and talked loudly at me. Yesterday one stepped in front of my buggy put his hand out for me to shake and asked me how I was, I didn't shake his hand but said sorry can't stop. I feel slightly sorry for these people they always remind me of sales people who get the phone slammed down on them, such a killer when they are desperate to hit their target that month.

bramblina · 23/03/2012 23:08

I completely sympathise with you- I don't even feel I should hold my hand up and ignore them- I don't think it's fair that I have to actively avoid someone trying to come in to my personal space- like cold callers, they have no right, if I want something I will go looking for it.

But, YABcompletelyU to shout piss off, I think this is even more unfair to others using the high street, IMHO esp those with children. It really, really bothers me when people swear in public earshot of my children- I think this is more disrespectful than those who try to come in to my personal space. it is very unfair.

Don't get me wrong though- I'm no prude, I can swear very well, just not infront of children.

floweryblue · 23/03/2012 23:13

A few weeks ago a lady was collecting a petition against same sex marriage outside our shop.

She was easy and accepting of people who said 'yes' and signed their names, and also of people who said 'no, I don't want to sign'.

But when people challenged her view, whilst she was polite, her opinions and how she posited them were actually offensive to me. I was so offended by some of what I heard her say that I asked her to move away from our premises (her church is opposite us on a narrow street), I am a super-wimp normally but I made myself brave on this occassion.

Most times, I can accept that people believe things that I may not, that I believe other things that others may not, but I can never believe it's acceptable to ram your beliefs down people's throats while they are just shopping/sightseeing.

AwkwardMary · 23/03/2012 23:15

I was one of the very first group to ever do this...in London in 1999. We worked Soho and after a while, of course people got tired of us...some people were extraordinarily agressive...yes...it's awful to get approached repeatedly but I found that some people thought they could take out their bad energy on us....so YABU. Some people need a job and that's all they can get.

Jinsei · 23/03/2012 23:18

I think yabu. I don't like chuggers, but there's no excuse for being rude to someone who is just doing their job and trying to lake a living.

I was stopped today by someone from the Red Cross. I just said politely and firmly that he would be wasting his time talking to me, as although the Red Cross does a lot of great work, I support a number of other charities regularly and have chosen to prioritise those charities over any others. I wished him good luck and that was it.

As long as you are firm and confident in your position, it's easy to send them politely on their way. :)

Aerobreaking · 23/03/2012 23:19

They aren't allowed to take money from under 18s so I just say I'm 17. Works every time even though there is no way I am 17 Grin

GhastlyBespoke · 23/03/2012 23:20

I hate dismissing them. It's a horrible feeling but since I found out that they are intensively trained in this crap work for a charity for 3 months then mOve on to work for another I certainly feel less guilt.

Yabu for swearing but Yanbu for wanting to.

My sis was talking on her phone when one stopped her mid conversation and asked to speak to the person on the other end!

One tried to high 5 a guy on a bike then got arsey when he wouldn't!

GhastlyBespoke · 23/03/2012 23:24

Oh and what is all this "hey super mum" shit?

Patronising in the extreme. The worst being "we're looking for pole dancers are you interested" Shock wtf??
Yeah patronise the middle aged mother. That'll get you donations Hmm

giraffesCantDonateBoneMarrow · 23/03/2012 23:25

"do you want to help people/dogs/pigs with xxx" - I say "nah, I don't like people/dogs/pigs"

I have tried to say no thanks, they follow you a bit and jump out. This response confuses them enough so you have an extra seconds advantage to get away.

I have tried to engage in conversation and explain why I donate to certain charities already, am not on a huge income and so I spend my time volunteering for childline and a childrens hospice and if I had any spare cash I would give directly. And all I get is more pressure - why can;t you do MORE. What if one of the children you help found themselves with X happening to them and you havent donated, how woyld you feel then?

Some I am sure are nice, others are bullying and rude. So I am afraid I give a blanket daft response.

Same for people who try to hand me food menus in the street I tell them "no thanks, I don't believe in eating"

TheSkiingGardener · 23/03/2012 23:26

The thing is that it's easy to politely say no, and say it a few times.

But where I live there is one main stretch of ground in which there are Always chuggers. So if you live there and shop, you will encounter chuggers every single flipping time you try and go to the post office or the bank or just shop.

I used to be polite, then I was curt but polite, then curt and now thy are one step away from being told to stick it, rudely.

It's massively overdone where I am, it must start to be counterproductive.

In fact, next time I may note the charity and complain loudly and vociferously to their head office and tell them they'll never see a penny of my money. Maybe it's time for a backlash.

pigletmania · 23/03/2012 23:28

Ya by at all, annoying harassing bastards. Charity collectors with tins, totally different, usuall give to those

OhdearNigel · 23/03/2012 23:42

Ask them how much they will get paid for signing you up.

The standard fee per sign up is around £35 - 40. Even if you cancel within the 28 day cool-off period they still get their fee. So next time a chugger tries to browbeat you into donating for the whales/children/whatever - ask them if they are donating their time as well

Hoebag · 23/03/2012 23:51

I can fully understand your rage but YABU to swear,

they can be very predatory and should be monitored on that tbh.

its intimidating.

Southwest · 23/03/2012 23:51

Oh I hate them but would never be rude to someone with a tin/genuinely donating their time

I too hate the way they call semi rudely after you if you don't stop like when I s with 3 preschoolers and they shouted 'don't you care about children then'
Why should I be verbally abused when out minding my own business?

AwkwardMary · 24/03/2012 00:11

NIgel where did you get that information from? When I did it...admittedly in 1999...we were paid hourly.

Mia4 · 24/03/2012 00:21

YWBU if you shouted that but YANBU to think that.

I feel for chuggers in one respect since they are paid mainly on commission but it's never worth signing up in that way unless you plan to donate for a few years. BHF or CRUK, not sure which, had to admit that they actually lose money using chuggers because they pay commission and often the DD is cancelled quickly. Sometimes the sign up was purely to get the chugger off that person's back and the DD is blocked.

So chuggers are actually bad for charities and lose them more money then they gain. Hence why some, which have to show their overheads publically, no longer use them.

pinkyp · 24/03/2012 00:36

Yabu, seriously I hope some one tells YOU to piss off for doing your job!

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 24/03/2012 00:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Southwest · 24/03/2012 00:58

Why do charities use them then?

Is someone about to post a link showing that the chugging companies are run by directors of major charities or something?!!!?

Pinkyp I have often been shouted at for doing my job, and I'm at work to help people

AmberLeaf · 24/03/2012 01:06

They piss me off with their fake 'zaniness' running along backwards trying to engage you.

I dont want to be rude but they over step the mark and invade my personal space.

Unlurked · 24/03/2012 01:08

I had one tell me that if I gave up smoking I would be able to afford to donate to his charity. I don't smoke though.

The same man also told me that I shouldn't have had my 2 month old DD, I should have adopted because there are so many children that need new homes. He was an utter twat.

LittleRayOf · 24/03/2012 05:42

"I am already a member" or "I just signed up", has always worked for me, and they usually say thank you before quickly moving on.

Its usually a lie, but it keeps things civil

Kayzr · 24/03/2012 05:59

I hate them!! I always swear about them in my head.

I live near York and you can guarantee that they are going to be stood along a certain road. So then you have to swerve around them.

I also hate the ones that come to the door. They always say "we don't want any money." Don't lie to me I'm not stupid! Angry