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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be really upset to read on MN

719 replies

shootingstarz · 23/03/2012 08:47

That parents are going without food because they can?t afford to feed their kids.

OP posts:
JustHecate · 23/03/2012 09:50

My parents used to do it all the time.

My mum would regularly have a slice of bread for the whole day.

My dad would insert cardboard into the soles of his shoes because they'd worn through. He'd sit and sew patch after patch onto the same pair of trousers. We'd have a bath by boiling some water and putting it into a baby bath in front of the fire in the living room (when we had coal!)

My parents would sell my christmas presents in january.

We'd regularly run of out gas or electric.

I remember one christmas eve, no food in the house. The hamper that my mum had been paying for all year had arrived and we tucked into that by the light from the gas cooker rings because we'd run out of electric!

We'd hide upstairs on the landing from the rent man and debt collectors.

And my dad was working.

Mind you, they always had fags Hmm and my mum would spend her last pound on a bar of chocolate while we wiped our arses on pages from books/newspapers. I hated that they did that. Of course, now I understand that when you are living as we lived, you do things like that. But it's not the right thing to do, logically. I resent all the paper cuts on my arse while my dad chain smoked roll ups. I really do.

I had hoped that these days, people were no longer living like that, but not only are people still living like that, people are going back to that from a better standard of living.

It's horrible.

TheBigJessie · 23/03/2012 09:51

Yeah- let's go to food stamps that some shops won't accept, eh?

Aldi, for example, don't accept healthy start vouchers.

The shops that do accept them obviously can't give change. More vouchers like that? Not Okay.

TuftyFinch · 23/03/2012 09:51

What's your definition of poverty then Outraged? Not eating for a week? would you class a homeless person as living in poverty if they ate 1 hot meal a day?

MorrisZapp · 23/03/2012 09:51

BrianCox, as far as I know, 'vices' such as smoking, bingo etc are more common amongst those on lower incomes.

If the majority of the low or unwaged do go without food regularly then you'd expect this demographic to be slimmer than the general population, again I don't think that's the case.

I know that many people are truly struggling, and they obviously need more support from gvt. But this thread is about going without food, and if that really is happening (Ive no reason to disbelieve it) then food stamps seem to be the obvious answer.

TotemPole · 23/03/2012 09:52

MyDogShitsShoes, if you're on benefits with a 7 month old, don't you get the coupons/vouchers to buy the formula with? And don't you get other vouchers for fruit and veg now, or is that all bundled up in the same thing?

Do you need a car at the moment. Couldn't you declare it SORN for a while until your circumstances change?

MyDogShitsShoes · 23/03/2012 09:53

I don't have any debt thanks.
And if I have to give up my car I won't be able to return to my job.

You're right though. Separating from my husband because he had an affair totally is personal choice.

outraged and whatme your crass ignorance and judgemental attitudes are staggering. I'm sure you would prefer to think strandedbear and I are in situations of our own making. It would.ease your consciences no end. Denial is a wonderful thing.

shootingstarz · 23/03/2012 09:53

What can we do to help does anyone have any ideas? When I think how much food is wasted in this country it makes me so cross.

OP posts:
OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 23/03/2012 09:54

A tongue in check user name that was chosen on the spur of the moment is a bit of a silly thing to be irritated by. I happen to like Freddos.

And bizarrely enough, there are other things in life that make me cross that don't involve the price of chocolate bars increasing by 100%.

Justfeckingdoit · 23/03/2012 09:54

vodika thank you for that link to food banks, have emailed the person in charge of the only London one I could find to see what I can do.

Thanks, for making me feel useful as well as angry.

Justfeckingdoit · 23/03/2012 09:56

totempole really?

TheBigJessie · 23/03/2012 09:57

healthy start vouchers

NameInChalk · 23/03/2012 09:57

It appears that irony passes some people by. How unfortunate.

MyDogShitsShoes · 23/03/2012 09:58

totem I don't get any vouchers unfortunately as Smp is a "working" benefit.

I don't have a drive so can't get it off a public road to declare sorn.

morris I don't drink smoke or.gamble, keep em coming if it makes you feel better.

StrandedBear · 23/03/2012 09:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 23/03/2012 10:00

It's not up to me to define poverty Tufty, just like its not up to people to define poverty by the fact that they have to eat toast for a few meals because they woudo rather tax their car.

I'm not being ignorant at all, I said that I don't believe that people who find themselves having to go without meals are doing so because they have no choice. I think this thread is proving me right tbh. I have every respect for Stranded who is trying to further her education on a shoestring of a budget, obviously that is something that will have significant long term benefits for her family. But it is still a choice that she made, even if it is the right one.

Sorry to refer to you as if you're not reading this Stranded, I hope you know what I mean.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 23/03/2012 10:00

talk to american MNers, this stuff has been happening over there for years now. and now the Condems are intent on pulling the social security net out from under more people, it will happen here. the only thing to do is vote.

Whatmeworry · 23/03/2012 10:00

outraged and whatme your crass ignorance and judgemental attitudes are staggering.

You can be outraged all you like, there is nothing wrong with questioning an allegation of poverty and starvation given the already relatively high level of benefits in the UK compared to most other countries in the world.

If people really can't feed themselves I want to know where else all my tax money is going!

And so far the examples I've seen here have had people - eg strandedbear - are making personal choices.

TuftyFinch · 23/03/2012 10:01

NameinChalk it certainly passed Alanis Morissette by.

MyDogShitsShoes · 23/03/2012 10:01

op can I just add that I have a lot of respect for you for genuinely listening to posters and forming your opinions accordingly.

Exactly what MN is about.

Justfeckingdoit · 23/03/2012 10:01

morriz just wow. It's a bit like troll hunting on here...you have to assume each poster is genuine and not get so arsey because it's not your life.

I'm coming at this from someone who paid much more in taxes last year than my parents ever earned.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and grrrrr again for effect and I hope shame on you

MorrisZapp · 23/03/2012 10:03

I'm not accusing anybody of drinking, smoking or any other unnecessary spending.

I believe posters on this thread who do without so much in order to keep their kids fed and happy.

But my point is that in general, some of these expensive habits are more prevalent amongst the low or unwaged. That's not an opinion or a judgement, its a fact.

TheBigJessie · 23/03/2012 10:06

Is it right that we should have a little trap, that means that those trying to improve their opportunities in life, will be penalised while they train?

By the way, Stranded- if you got married, would you be classed as an independent student? Or is it too late, as regards this year's funding?

NameInChalk · 23/03/2012 10:07

What about the working poor then WhatMeWorry - as those on benefits deserve it as they're making a "choice".

What about the working poor who aren't taking your Hard Earned Tax Money?

For example:

I take home £300.00 per week. I have 2 children. I get an additional £80.00 per week in tax credits.

Rent is in this area is around £800.00 per month (for a two bed flat).

I earn more than the NMW and work full time.

So I end up with roughly £100.00 per week to feed, heat, clothe, water etc etc etc a family of three.

TotemPole · 23/03/2012 10:07

MyDogShitsShoes, difficult situation for you.

If you rent can you apply for housing benefit. If you have a mortgage see about getting it switched to interest only for a while. Contact CAB to see if there is anything else you're entitled to while on SMP.

Go through all your bills. Anything you pay on DD, see if you are in credit and can reduce the monthly amount for a while.

thekidsrule · 23/03/2012 10:08

regarding benefits if you have NO debt then i think you should be able to eat fairly well,though some people dont know how to cook to save money,batch cooking etc etc

but if you find yourself redundant and have debts,financial commitments i CAN see how you would struggle to feed a family and service a debt,there lies the problem,also waiting for your claim to be processed will cause this problem as you can wait weeks and weeks for any money

so yes i can see how this could be possible

not going to comment on the working poor as i dont feel qualified to do so,so his is from the benefit side