To be really upset to read on MN

[shootingstarz]

That parents are going without food because they can?t afford to feed their kids.

No, not in the UK, Lesley, (which is why everything's in Euros ), but I was just trying to show how it's possible to end up skipping meals to feed the kids!

Read The Fucking Thread. Post after post of people explaining how skint they are. It's appallingly arrogant to rock up on a thread such as this and ask the same inane questions, and ask for evidence from people who are struggling to feed their family when you haven't even bothered to read all the responses.

Sorry misunderstood. I totally understand how it is possible to regularly not be able to eat in order to feed kids in mnay other countries including "wealthy" countries. But I don't understand in the UK tbh except under the circumstances I outlined. Not being able to afford healthy food, yes totally understandable.

Ok sorry chalk

Lesley-
It's the accumulated extra costs which get you really behind that make you end up having to skip meals.
Sure, in theory we all have enough. But when you need to replace the fridge, or buy school shoes, or pay a massive energy/water bill , there is no extra money for that so it has to come off something else.
Also, I pay £100 for rent out of money that technically we are supposed to live on, because the housing allowance doesn't cover it.
Which I reckon many people who live in private rented places do.

Diet has been poor this year as the priority is the children (test results on Mon to see if I am anemic). If dcs have school dinners they have a hot meal, the childminder also feeds them of an evening and then I cook a hot meal for them on the days I don't work. On the days I know they are being fed, it means I can eat some pasta/sandwich at work and then toast/cereal for tea. I lost a lot of weight waiting over 6m for the tax credits to pay out and financially matters got really desperate - I told work colleagues I'd eaten earlier in the day and was working though lunch and told the dcs I'd eaten at work. I've put some weight back on as pasta and bread are bulky.

On the outside we look ok. But exH left last year and I am a LP on an income of 23k and childcare outgoings, so I can work, are over 10k. I commute to work, so my petrol costs equal my food bill and I have all the same essential bills as I ever did when I was married. Don't smoke, drink, bet, possess sky, eat out, go on holiday & my family buy dcs clothes at Christmas and birthdays or give me money so I can. Could cry in the months when car insurance/ servicing or house insurance are due. Matters are about to get very lean again as ExH has gone to half pay and then is about to lose his job so his maintenance will stop. The house is on the market.

However, am looking at Sports Relief on TV and know how fortunate I am.

Did you read my post Lesley. Yes I can get a weekly shop for £32 but if dd has grown out of our shoes that week I have to spend £8-10 to get her more, big proportion of what we have. Last week DH had to go to the hospital it is £8.50 return on the bus. Can you see how these things eat into what you have.

Ok wreck - I can see unexpected expenditure and the housing allowance doing this - especially the housing allowance. Had a discussion in rl with someone today who agreed totally with this and couldn't accept that there weren't enough houses in the city I live in, for people to relocate to that were affordable.

where are these shops selling 25k of spuds for £5???

Also, I choose to sometimes take my son to things in the holidays, like fairs or museums. Last year I took him to the seaside. Only camping, but train fares, extras etc are not in the budget, and it sets you back.

I don't want him to miss out on normal childhood stuff, especially as all he hears normally is "no, sorry, I can't afford that".

Obvs that's my choice, but even when you do an income and expenditure assesment for debt collectors to see how much you can pay per month, they insist you include money for leisure activities in your budget, because realistically life is too unbearably grim if you never have any fun at all.

Things are getting better now though.
We will have money this summer for a little trip somewhere and I won't have to live on toast!

Yeah - its shit. I'm ok at the moment, but when we were growing up my Mam was a single parent working full time with no help from the state (or my Dad). I remember eating broth...a lot!

Makes me wonder if my Mam skipped meals, I bet she did

Nesh I did say that waiting for benefits when you have put in a claim can I understand bring people to their knees. Unfortunately have personal experience of this in the past. Our local council regularly is near the bottom of the league in efficiency in processing HB claims.

True lesley r.e housing allowance. I live in a fairly affluent small town, and the hosuing allowance is set for the nearest city, the very cheapest end of which HA would cover. Not where I live. Again, I could choose to live in a one bed flat, so it is to an extent a choice for ds and I to have our own rooms, but I DO work, and I just want things to be as normal for him as possible.

This thread is devastating. The frightening thing is, not only can I believe this happens to others, if the worse happened it could happen to us too.
DH and I both work full time and have one DS. We have debt, and it is managed. However, if one or (heaven forbid) both of us lost our jobs we would be well and truly up shit creek.
And it's getting worse! How can this be allowed to happen?!
I'm going to donate to a food bank tomorrow, and I wish everyone struggling the absolute best of luck. I really hope things get better.

I have been there. I used to go without food so DS1 could eat after his father spent money on crap low priority items - fags, booze, computer games etc. I was the only one bringing in an income too so we had little enough to begin with. I won't get into my story really but my ex was also abusive and used food as control. By restricting access to food for us all he tried to make me obey him. Basically do as you're told and you can have a loaf of bread or a box of cereal. I remember him being in a raging temper and throwing my carefully bought shopping out and ruining it so I couldn't bring it back in - breaking eggs on the floor, pouring milk into the road etc. It's fine to say just stand up for yourself, especially if you're earning, but if a big bloke pins you against a wall and tells you to hand over your bank card or you **ing die you don't feel able to argue. You do what you have to do to survive. I once made 4 tea bags, 4 slices of bread and a part jar of corn relish last 3 days. I got wise and left what was a very bad situation. I weighed 7 stone 8. So I believe that due to abuse or poverty there are people who give their kids food or other resources in preference to having these things themself. I just hope they all get the help and support they need to get out of that situation.

ragged, I can't carry a 5kg bag of spuds, never mind 25kg! And couldn't afford to cook & freeze vast quantities, so they'd go rank even if it were possible to buy them at that price and get them home. Which it isn't.

Plus, as others have already said, £5 is 5 days' food budget for me. Not too smart to spend it all on spuds, eh.

I use oven chips a lot. They do work out cheaper than real potatoes bought in 1kg or 2.5kg bags.

I don't understand what world some of you live in.

How can this be a surprise to you?

How can you sit there saying you can't believe it could happen?

There's a difference between:I can't believe it!/how awful/ I'm going to do something

and

I can't believe it/ you people who struggle to afford daily essentials must be doing something wrong because your benefits should be enough and if you can't make them stretch that's because you're doing something wrong.

The real world is this way >>>>>>

I'm a single parent and as of the end of next week I'll be unemployed again in the space of less than a year (funding pulled on my contract).
This would be me if it wasn't for the constant support and love of my parents - we 'share' cooking responsibilities and food shopping which basically means my DM and DF will make sure both myself and my DD will have a decent meal in the evening no matter what and I will make sure my DD has a full packed lunch box for school.
Despite all the trials I visit on my parents they are still proud of me and tell me frequently that I am a good mam.
I am truly blessed and I wish other people who worried about feeding their children had the kind of support that I do!!

Oh, I've seen the huge bags of potatoes and of rice.

But I know that I (fit and healthy) could never carry them home! Especially holding onto children as well.

This may only be a drop in the ocean, but I found a recipe for home-made washing liquid on moneysavingexpert.com. Tried it and it costs about 30p for several litres, and washes really well. As it's one of the more expensive items on everyone's shopping list I thought it might help to suggest it.

'I can't believe it/ you people who struggle to afford daily essentials must be doing something wrong because your benefits should be enough and if you can't make them stretch that's because you're doing something wrong.'

It is that attitude I find so hurtful, a little compassion costs nothing. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy but a little humility wouldn't go amiss. I odn't want someone else's money but I am sick of the inaccurate generalisations about the poor, benefit claimants etc. They are hurtful and quite frankly damaging. I for one have never said that better off people don't deserve their salary but the better off are not the only ones who work hard and the way some people assert they work hard implies the poor do not which is not automatically the case.

Tufty - If you have always had enough money to afford the basics then it is hard to understand. I was unemployed before DCs and been low paid with DCs and always been able to afford to eat and that is why I find it hard to understand. But that was before the local housing allowance.

Been there, done it bought the t-shirt.

I remember one time when I rocked up to the checkout and my card was declined. I had to leave the shopping, forgetting at first that half of it had already been stowed in my canvas shopping bag!
When we got outside ds was in a tizz, going" but we havent got the shopping" while I was hissing "never mind-hurry up, lets go!" because I knew I had a few tins and some rice in my shoulder bag!
Happy days when skintness lead you to semi- accidental shoplifting with your small child!
I'll look back on that and larf, I will (not).
Sorry Morrisons

Oh, yeah, and the comment about how surely intelligent women on MN can't possibly be in this situation:
Yes, it would be nice and convenient to believe that only thick people can be poor, but in real life, that is not the case.
I'm working class too. I know! How did MN evah allow me to join!?